Canadian Sniper, currently breaking box office records from Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! to Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, is a poignant lumbersexual domestic drama illustrating the post traumatic stress of a, yes, Canadian Sniper, isolated and alone in an environment deprived even of a backyard rink.
You know how there’s these ghosts? These Christmas ghosts? And they’re not so much all dead people as they are spirits in the pagan, pantheistic sense? Well, they say every Christmas gets the ghost it deserves (what? they do TOO say that. Now).
And this Christmas, that spirit is legendary chanteuse Jan Terri.
Now, my 2014 was memorable, even if parts of it have been blacked out for my own protection and ability to sleep at night. But it wasn’t all bad. For some of my friends, this year was indeed all bad, and they cannot wait to see its ass out the door. So it is to them that this little ditty is dedicated. You expected an angel singing the praises of the Mother of God and this, THIS, is what you got instead.
If you’re as foul-mouthed and as Christmas-spirited as I, you will need to make room in your (three sizes too small?) heart for this tune from British babe band Fascinating Aida. If I get the time and the stupid Gay Macintosh wheel ever stops spinning on this eight year old machine, I’ll write out the lyrics, but I’m pretty sure you can make them out yourself.