Mork: This week I discovered a terrible disease called loneliness.
Orson: Do many people on Earth suffer from this disease?
Mork: Oh yes sir, and how they suffer. One man I know suffers so much he has to take a medication called bourbon, even that doesn’t help very much because then he can hear paint dry.
Orson: Does bed rest help?
Mork: No because I’ve heard that sleeping alone is part of the problem. You see, Orson, loneliness is a disease of the spirit. People who have it think that no one cares about them.
Orson: Do you have any idea why?
Mork: Yes sir you can count on me. You see, when children are young, they’re told not to talk to strangers. When they go to school, they’re told not to talk to the person next to them. Finally when they’re very old, they’re told not to talk to themselves, who’s left?
Orson: Are you saying Earthlings make each other lonely?
Mork: No sir I’m saying just the opposite. They make themeslves lonely, they’re so busy looking out for number one that there’s not enough room for two.
Orson: It’s too bad everybody down there can’t get together and find a cure.
Mork: Here’s the paradox sir because if they did get together, they wouldn’t need one.
Here is My Imaginary Boytoy and also apparently Wendi Deng‘s, former British PM Tony Blair, aka bLIAR, speaking the absolute, literal truth for once in his goddam life, with a little help from remix artist Cassetteboy. The peace broker was risking all to deliver a desperate address to the hastily-gathered rebel alliance at the beating heart of the fabled Bloomberg empire, its London HQ. Oh, who am I kidding? He was there for the paycheck.
Some people only aim as high as the podium. Some tawdry, conventional people.
The members of the Jamaican Bobsleigh Team are not such people.
As we have written elsewhere, they are living their Olympic dreams in part because of the backing of a satirical cryptocurrency named after a faddish pet meme. Now they have released the best song and music video of the 2014 Sochi Olympic Games (unless the fabulous Johnny Weir wants to record something, of course). With a score to date of almost three quarter of a million plays in five days, this is definitely a winning performance.
Is it just me, or do those hands look like…not-hands, if you know what I mean?
I’d better get started on a screenplay, because this is the most perfect straight-to-the-big-screen story I’ve heard in simply ages.
The Dogecoin Foundation, an actual charitable foundation based around a satirical cryptocurrency named after an actual dog meme, yes, really, has come to the rescue of the actualJamaican Bobsled Team, who are actually going to be in the Olympics again.
Merry Christmas from John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. Are you ready to unwrap the packages?
Sherlock fans (and Johnlock fans) have waited TOO DAMN LONG! Sure, sure, you think waiting 365 days for Christmas is hard? How about waiting almost two full fucking years for a new episode of the iconic BBC series? 15 January 2012 was the last day we had an original Sherlock; since then, some of us have tried sustaining ourselves on a diet of fan fiction, but my diabeetus flared up again and there are only so many “John looked at Sherlock. Sherlock looked at John. Manly man-on-man longing was in every manly glance…” passages you can read before you dissolve into giggles.
Well, our long wait is OVAH!
The BBC has just released a seven minute mini-episode featuring teaser after teaser (although honestly anyone could have spotted that bitch in the saffron, I mean come on!) And it is damn good.
It better be damn good. This will have to sustain us until New Year’s Day.
As for that package-unwrapping referred to in the caption at the top? Well, here it is.