The Occupy Vancouver Media Domination Situation? Frankly, it sucks.

Occupy Vancouver sucks for hits, Google features nothing but page after page of mainstream media when you search for the term, and nobody in this town even seems to know I’m back from Yellowknife, let alone at Occupy Vancouver every other damn day/night. But that won’t stop me.

And it won’t stop me from boasting, either. Because I may not have the hits, but I have very glossy retweeters and atters, so there. I’ve lost the direct links to Neil Gaiman and William Gibson (once my favorite Starbucks customer), but that’s just because they talk almost as much as I do!

so true.. .RT @raincoaster: RT @pqpolitics: "News is what people want to keep hidden; everything else is publi… (cont) deck.ly/~htGQG—
John Cusack (@johncusack) November 17, 2011

not to mention a hit-boosting RT of my article from OccupyVancouver and Bianca Jagger. Yes, THAT Bianca Jagger; how many do you think there are? She’s pretty awesome on Twitter, so I doubt the world could hold more than one.

RT @OccupyVancouver: Bank Transfer day and info about Canada's Bank Bailout! PLZ RT #occupyvancouver #OWS #Nov5 ow.ly/7k3an—
Bianca Jagger (@BiancaJagger) November 05, 2011

I always say thank you, because I have fucking GREAT manners, bitchez.

@BiancaJagger @InnaMood @jdomeeks Thanks for the rts about my post. I hope you enjoy it.—
  (@raincoaster) November 05, 2011

and she has excellent manners as well:

@raincoaster I do, thank you for the information, take care and keep up the good work—
Bianca Jagger (@BiancaJagger) November 05, 2011

And so, even though I spent 15 minutes of my Twitter for the Occupy Movement workshop telling people not to cultivate celebrities as a media strategy, it does make for a quick and popular (and validating) blog post. So, do as I tweet, not as I blog? Or something? It’s been a long day.

Speaking of Validation:

@raincoaster have we told you we adore you lately? Well we do. #occupylove #occupyvancouver—
Occupy Vancouver (@OccupyVancouver) November 18, 2011

I don't know about you, but can't see @raincoaster as an intern! :D—
  (@janniaragon) November 18, 2011

. @raincoaster I mean that in the: she's hot shit. She won't be interning, yo.—
  (@janniaragon) November 18, 2011

That’ll teach the Province to suggest I intern for them!

Cuttlefish VS Octopus

Yes, we’ve had a lot of videos around these parts lately, but how could I possibly pass up video of a spanner-stealing octopus and what at first seems like a simple bunch of floating seaweed, before breaking loose into All Hell?

and from the diver’s comments:

I was undoing the bolts on the Current Meter housing for routine servicing, when the octopus crept out of the housing, and demanded to have my spanner. I am sure the cuttlefish must have been biding his time on this octopus. But the octopus could not resist my spanner, it made repeated attempts to steal it as I tried to undo the bolts. This game of taking my spanner went on for several minutes. Eventually I gave up on the bolts and took out my camera, which I had with me to record the condition of the Current Meter…

Each year from April to June the cuttlefish off Sydney become extremely aggressive. They often follow divers and sometimes attack them. But they love octopus. I had a repeat experience last year in May, when I again had an octopus come out of its lair to try and take a shiny buckle which was attached to a rope. After a few minutes a cuttlefish attacked the octopus exactly as before. Unfortunately for the cuttlefish, this time the octopus managed to keep half its body free, and after a minute of intense struggle it slipped out of the cuttlefish’s grip, and, I kid you not, sat on the cuttlefish’s head. So there we were, I am looking at them holding my breath, the octopus is sitting on the cuttlefish’s head, and the octopus is looking at me with a “Can you believe it” expression. After another minute of stillness, the octopus shot off in a cloud of ink, leaving the cuttlefish confused and exhausted. Unfortunately I did not have camera handy.

So, word to the wise: as we’ve said before, ANYTHING in the sea could be a hungry cephalopod, so just stay on dry land, why doncha?

Southeast Asian Sea Life: Memorize and BE PREPARED

I hope that clears up any confusion about spotting the mimic octopus in the wild. Simply put: you can’t.

If you wonder, on occasion, why this blog is quite so tentactular, think about this; the Mimic Octopus was discovered in 1998 off the coast of Sulawesi. In 1997 I was swimming in the ocean off the coast of Sulawesi and THESE THINGS WERE DOWN THERE, probably looking like other things or like no things at all but they were DOWN THERE THE WHOLE TIME BEING STEALTHY AND WE DIDN’T KNOW IT.

Goddam.

Seriously, this is why I don’t swim anymore. Who needs aliens when we have cephalopods?

From Olde Strasbourg:

This was during the Krakatoa eruption, when Rlyeh briefly surfaced

Yes, the allies from the kings of the jungle even unto the smallest vermin that crawls, unseen yet lathesomely felt, through the teeming maze of our urban decayscapes, have begun to unite in expectation of The Great Rising!

Why is it always Germany? Are their rats particularly activist?

Science shows that, in at lesat some cases, rat kings/crowns have been formed while the attached rats were still alive and growing, indicating strongly that these rats were holy, set apart, and that servant rat classes brought them food and attended to their every sordid bodily need while they awaited the glorious Return of the Great Old Ones.

Evidence (you KNOW we’re all about the evidence around these parts):

rat crown xray is all sciency and irrefutable, so there!

As well-documented in the manuscript known as The Call of Cthulhu, such a pivotal time affects not only the lower orders, but also the sensitives among us, from the most Strindbergian slam poet to the dandies of the Royal Portrait Gallery.

Rat King, the watercolour. Somewhat Twomblyesque, non?

Even innocent embroiderers have had hideous glimpses of the godless Gordian knot:

And in another age, these would have been daisies!

Truly a motif for our time. We can only shudder and whisper horror-struck guesses at the unspeakable, Transformer-like superpowers to be unlocked by a successful unification!

Rat King sculpture, RATTENKONIG! COWER, MORTALS!

Rat King Perfection ACHIEVED unlocking superpowers now

Soon, very soon, Cthulhu will rise again.

Okay, whose job was it to bring the vaseline?

Just as soon as we get this situation straightened out.

Cthulhu Cake

It is a fact universally acknowledged that when Julian Assange marries me, this will be our wedding cake. Cry all you want, jealous losers, it WILL happen. TEH CAKE IS NOT A LIE!

Iz NOT!

Sulk all you want: he stll isn’t going to go out with you.

Our guest list will be exclusive, and we’re really proud to say that we’ve just got an RSVP from a very important celebrity. Not to drop a name, but, well, if you’ve been around you’ll have heard of him. TENTAQUIL!

I, on the other hand, wish I was a Fakemon

Y’all had better start working on your outfits ASAP: this is one wedding with a STRICT dress code.

not everyone can pull off this look, particularly because of the suckers

Top THAT!