existential mouse will have none of your banal, suburban optimism, thank you
The Existential Pet Tumblr may be the greatest thing since Hound Dogs Running.
This is the kind of thing at which I laugh out loud
Category Archives: Pets
GPOY: me interacting with cats
Mucho thanks to Golden Retriever cross Murkin here for taking a bullet for me in demonstrating how cats typically react to me, him, and everyone else who couldn’t give a rat’s ass if all the feline world dropped off the face of the earth tomorrow. Dude, better you than me, but I pity you, I really do.
Ask Michael K over at Dlisted put it (better than I ever could have):
The feral cat’s name is Thomas O’Malley Flufferpants (I can’t with that name). A big-hearted foster family took him in and he almost immediately got sweet for the family’s dog Murkin. To say that Murkin isn’t feeling cuddly for Flufferpants is an understatement. Murkin is the Penelope to Flufferpants’ Pepé Le Pew. Stay with Murkin’s face while watching the clip and you’ll see a priceless gallery of side-eyes, sighs, roll eyes and emotions that range from “THIS bitch again?” to “I should really look into building a water moat around me.” I haven’t seen such an obvious display of MEH for pussy since Richard Gere kissed Jodie Foster in Sommersby.
Poetry. Sheer poetry.
Penis Dog Post
penis dog iz penisy
Technically, “penile” is the word, but one can’t expect Google to be hip to that. And this post, unsurprisingly, is all about Teh Googlez.
We have previously blogged Penis Puppy.
Penis Puppy will grow into Penis Dog
What can I say? I was teaching at a conference, and they say you should always include pictures of cats to ensure your presentation goes over well. Well, I’m no more a cat person than I am a Chihuahua person, so I said FUCK THAT SHIT and went with Penis Puppy. I think that aught to wipe the floor with any kittens extant. And after the presentation, a participant tweeted me a picture of Penis Dog, so I think my path to Google hegemony is well underway.
Post-Valentine’s Day Unicorn Chaser
Geek Online Dating with Julian Assange; satisfaction guaranteed or your encryption key back!
And how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?
Spokesmodeling: looks like somebody’s found a way to keep Wikileaks flush while fighting court cases around the world! Smart thinking; the marketing of Lay-A-Neckbeard.net is challenging in the extreme, thanks to people’s selfish refusal to be sexually attracted to the physically repulsive. All they need is a little marketing makeover (and diet and exercise, facials, stylists, and grooming tips) and POOF! Instant sex god dating site.
Also related: Penis Puppy! Awww, so cute…and about 30 inches long!
Penis Puppy
If you’re not dating, how are you spending your time? If you’re like me, like this:
Tea and hardcovers
You KNOW you have no secrets on the internet. Oh, PS: You left the webcam on.
No Doggie, No Cry
Not that I’m entirely sure pugs are dogs. They think they’re fucking lions, just ask them.
Or don’t. Because this is what happens when you do that.
If we could only weaponize them, we could finally have a way to defeat the Chihuahua Army on their own turf!
