Wait, is that racist?
No doubt about it, Jean [Redacted] is a horrible, horrible person. How do we know that?
Lunachyq told us.
Lunachyq, a pet-centric blogger at WordPress.com, told us all about how Jean abandoned Cocoa, her sweet-natured pet of 12 years, at a kill shelter rather than drive 20 minutes to drop her off at a no-kill shelter. How Jean claimed she was giving her up only because of limited funds and a move to a no-pets apartment.
How Jean left out the bit about the tumors.
Here’s the thing, Jean. Oh, I didn’t ask if I could call you Jean but I’m going to. Or I could call you a number of other names, none of which you’d like very much. When I saw Cocoa’s picture on the animal control website, when I saw that grey muzzle and read the description stating that her people of 12 years, her family, had surrendered her to the pound, it broke my heart.
Jean, I once had a dog that was so ornery she got in trouble for biting a kid on the butt because he’d been tugging her ears. When the city quarantined my dog for 48 hours, I was fully prepared to leave my home, leave school, leave everything in the dead of night, everything except my dog. I was going to Thelma and Louise our asses right out of town. I wasn’t playing. Because that’s how I roll. No dog left behind, Jean.
So when I saw that picture of Cocoa, I just couldn’t understand why someone would dump a family member. And my empathy for that dog consumed me, until I made yet another rash decision and I rushed to the pound to adopt her.
If the Google-Maps-Finds-Stray-Dog-a-Home story has you sniffling, prepare to lose your shit entirely at the rest of the letter. I’m afraid this story doesn’t have a happy ending, but if the Internet gets its way, there won’t be one for Jean either.
Posted Sept. 10, Lunachyq’s letter has already been shared more than 10,000 times to Facebook, has 475 comments, and 165 Likes on WordPress. The Internet may be made of cats, but it’s clear that dogs are also very close to its heart.
Photo via Mario Klingemann/Flickr
Mucho thanks to Golden Retriever cross Murkin here for taking a bullet for me in demonstrating how cats typically react to me, him, and everyone else who couldn’t give a rat’s ass if all the feline world dropped off the face of the earth tomorrow. Dude, better you than me, but I pity you, I really do.
Ask Michael K over at Dlisted put it (better than I ever could have):
The feral cat’s name is Thomas O’Malley Flufferpants (I can’t with that name). A big-hearted foster family took him in and he almost immediately got sweet for the family’s dog Murkin. To say that Murkin isn’t feeling cuddly for Flufferpants is an understatement. Murkin is the Penelope to Flufferpants’ Pepé Le Pew. Stay with Murkin’s face while watching the clip and you’ll see a priceless gallery of side-eyes, sighs, roll eyes and emotions that range from “THIS bitch again?” to “I should really look into building a water moat around me.” I haven’t seen such an obvious display of MEH for pussy since Richard Gere kissed Jodie Foster in Sommersby.
Poetry. Sheer poetry.
Technically, “penile” is the word, but one can’t expect Google to be hip to that. And this post, unsurprisingly, is all about Teh Googlez.
We have previously blogged Penis Puppy.
What can I say? I was teaching at a conference, and they say you should always include pictures of cats to ensure your presentation goes over well. Well, I’m no more a cat person than I am a Chihuahua person, so I said FUCK THAT SHIT and went with Penis Puppy. I think that aught to wipe the floor with any kittens extant. And after the presentation, a participant tweeted me a picture of Penis Dog, so I think my path to Google hegemony is well underway.