Unlike the last time I took this (when I was Edmund) I turned out to be Lucy, so apparently I’m becoming progressively more innocent as I age, which proves that William Blake was right all along. FACT.
You can take the quiz here.
Category Archives: Quizzes and tests
The Most Astonishingly Accurate Internet Quiz in All of Time and Space
We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have long been known as vigorous advocates of the dispassionate scientific method. So naturally, we cast a deeply skeptical eye over those so-called accurate quizzes that populate the back pages of women’s magazines and the lesser blogosphere. We are not pushovers; we are not fools.
We are, however, apparently Lucy.
| You Are Lucy |
You are smart as a whip… maybe a little too smart for your own good! Other people tend to annoy you. You tell it like it is, and you’re not about to spare anyone’s feelings. You’re very blunt.You are assertive to the point of being aggressive. You know what you want, and you’re going to make sure you get it. Deep down, you’re trying to be helpful. You give good advice, even if people don’t want to hear it. You always shoot from the hip. |
It’s quite clear this quiz, unlike most, is scientifically 100% accurate. We feel confident giving this our Scientific Seal of Approval.
Kismet!
celebrity sperminators?
You know how fond we are of our internet quizzes around these parts (particularly when we’re feeling lazy, which is always). This may be our greatest find in all of Internet Quiz history. Oh, first we were all like, that site is so skanky! It’s fucking Essex Online, with a side of Whalley.tripod.com crossed with JerseyShore.com.
It is nothing more nor less than a celebrity sperm bank.
And…it’s British people. So their definition of “celebrity” includes basically anyone with a tan and competent orthodontistry.
But they have a quiz, so we gave it a whirl. Well, just LOOK at this, wouldja?
Famedaddy Bono
Obviously this quiz is wise beyond the lot of mortals. HOW DID IT KNOW???? Le sigh. Some day.
New Life Choices
Daphne blends in
When first one begins to make new life choices, there is only one place for an intrepid change-maker to start: self-analysis. And for quality self-analysis, I always turn to internet quizzes.
You Are Stalking |
 You tend to be very obsessive. Once you focus your attention on something or someone, it’s all you think about.You are also very secretive. People don’t know much about the life that you lead. You are attracted to weak people. You may want to prey on them, but you also may just want to help them.You need attention, and you can get desperate if you aren’t getting attention from the right person. You’ll do about anything to get noticed. |
Check, check, check, and CHECK. That’s the hard part over with.
Next stop: the wardrobe department! As you can see from the GPOY at the top of the post, that’s all taken care of.
Sadly, the bottom has dropped out of the formerly-lucrative blackmail market. In a world currently enduring its sixth season of Jersey Shore, there is no market for shame whatsoever.
This leaves me with the unanswered critical question: how in hell do I make a living from this particular assortment of talents? I hate the thought of going into politics!
Spy vs I
Your International Spy Name is Countess Moonstone |
 Your Code Name: Clam ChowderYou Reside in: Paris Why You’re a Good Spy: You have total recall |
So, what have you been up to lately? I have been recovering from some weird stomach bug and going deep into the world of hackers, leakers, whistleblowers, spies, and Anonymii. On the one hand I have about a hundred pages of raw notes (only a slight exaggeration). On the other, wrestling this all into neat, linear narratives is easier said than done, even if you think “linear narratives” is easy to say, and if you do you’re either a voice coach or a pretentious twerp.
Not that we have anything against either of those.
In Operation Global Media Domination news, things have been progressing moderately well. Still not published in the Guardian, having to take yet another whack at the story, but having given up on getting a quote from the Minister in question, I’m just going to write around her. She will awaken in the morning completely surrounded by exclusive, internationally famous quotes from an angry and outraged citizenry. Some times “no comment” says volumes.
Was at the 100th anniversary of the Bunker Project, Canada’s #1 social media podcast. I’m very proud to have been singled out as the one who got them censored on iTunes, and I DIDN’T EVEN DROP ONE F BOMB THIS TIME! Mother would be so proud.
Flamed out on my audition to be part of a panel for CBC Radio’s On The Coast, discussing the week in BC. Reasons:
- I am SO NOT about the hyperlocal, particularly lately. Ask me about internet privacy in Australia or Russia’s weaponization of sex spam and I can talk and talk. Ask me where Fort Langley is and I’ll ask why I should care.
- Cathy says with all this talk of Anonymous and WikiLeaks and so on, I frighten people. This is true, of course. My own boss’s eyes got very wide when I listed the Anons I know who are in prison now (Kahuna, Trick, and Anarchaos, for starters… and Sabu, who is NOT in prison…but wait for it.). But I continue to believe there’s a market for it. Come on, Eli Roth, back up a blogger here! Scary sells!
Oh well, should, say, the morning show ever need to do an in-depth investigation of government corruption and CSIS, for instance, they know I’m their girl. Now to get back to emailing hackers for interviews and checking for a reply from the Department of Homeland Security…
