Guess who’s back?

Teenythulhu Rises!

Teenythulhu Rises!

via Archie

It’s been awhile since we had any spectacular tentacular action here, and I aim to get correcting that ASAP. As soon as I can free myself from the tentacles of Operation Global Media Domination, that is: I’ve taken on the Morning GIF on the DailyDot, plus my other work, including a kickass interview of Christine Assange, Julian’s mother, which should be coming out today sometime; I’m teaching at EatDrinkTweet, a three-day conference in the Okanagan for social media, wine, and food (always an epic good time and great learning too); I have a backlog approximately three years deep of posts for the food blog; and I’m working with ACTUALLY FAMOUS productivity expert Mike Vardy on developing an entire line of learning products for people who aren’t handy to one of our Social Flow workshops. Oh AND thanks to re-reading my friend Alannas book for the third time, I’m now doing some WordPress and social media work for her while she looks for other opportunities for me.

Hence the Blogthings, picture posts, etc. We shall return to our regularly scheduled perving, swearing, politicking, and absurdism anon.

Oscar Wilde is Anonymous

Oscar Wilde is Anonymous

Social Media Workshops in Yellowknife

raincoaster media, yo

raincoaster media, yo

Just a quick note that over on raincoaster media and in Facebook I’ve got the announcements up for two new Social Media Workshops, these ones in-person, in Yellowknife at Chef Pierre‘s Aurora Conference Centre.

Social Media for Political Campaigns is Wednesday

and

Social Media for Business is Thursday. Both run 1-5.

And then at the end of the week I’m headed to Vancouver (via a 17-hour flight, thanks a lot, AIR CANADA!) to speak at Social Media Week on the Blogging Technology Panel, emceeing the Social Good Summit, and participating in the Guerrilla Mashup event.

Big Bang Blogged, Blindly

That's just wrong, dude. You wear the red shirt on the next away mission.

That's just wrong, dude. You wear the red shirt on the next away mission.

Longtime readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog will know that we rarely (make that never) comply with demands for retractions when we’re sure of our facts. And we’re usually sure of our facts, even when they are wrong.

Like they were in this case.

This is what I get for relying on The Sun for anything but tits, really.

So it turns out the facts in this case were not quite as reported. Which case? The one we blogged about, titling it

UK news: how to get away with blowing up three cars in a huge fireball without being suspected of terrorism

which was really rather pointed of us, wasn’t it? Too bad those don’t appear to be the facts.

So, what are the facts?

It happened in the UK. That is not disputed, particularly by the nice lawyer who contacted us therefrom; well, technically the Head of Complaints at the Press Complaints Commission (does this make me a Real Journalist now? Dad would be so proud). UK libel laws, you and Graydon Carter may recall, are pretty heavily weighted in favour of the person being discussed (usually known around these parts as “the material” and around Vanity Fair as “Roman Fucking Polanski Goddammit”) regardless of what was said and their pre-existing reputation, but that is neither here nor there. Tho it had to be said, because why? Because it’s a blog, that’s why. If you don’t read the text and only come for the saucy pictures of anarchists, you’re skipping this part anyway and I can insult you freely, you puce-faced pantyliner.

By the way, WordPress.com stood by me and thanked me for bringing it to their attention, reiterating what I already knew; that in the absence of a court order, they would not remove the post without my permission.

As for The Incident Itself…

It involved a woman called Sarah Dean, a young British woman, a woman who worked in the travel industry, a woman with a really good lawyer. No, really good. Go ahead, google her; the archive is wiped except for some irritable bowel symptom reference. Yes, even Yahoo; that is some god-like omnipotence shit right there, that is. I’ve never seen Yahoo wipe something before.

What the Sun reported was that, a couple of days before several car-based explosiony terrorist attacks in the UK, her car “exploded in a fireball”, taking out the neighboring cars as well. And that was, apparently that. Except that I went on to say:

To be serious for a moment, either people with connections to the travel industry who happen to be blowing cars up in the UK are a risk or they are not. Either all such people should be investigated for connections to terrorism, or none should be. I have not the slightest idea of Sarah Dean is a hapless clerk or a terrorist mastermind, but then neither do you. Let this very weird, very peculiarily timed incident be fully investigated. Cars rarely blow up, especially German ones.

Regardless of what happened to her car, I stand by that statement. Now, as to what happened to her car, this is the statement released by the lawyer and printed in the Sun (which I can’t even find on Google; told you the lawyer was good!):

Further to your article “I blew up my boss’s Porsche”, I would like to make clear that after seeing smoke from the engine I pulled my car over and pushed it into the staff car park. It later caught fire causing minor damage to two other cars. There was no explosion nor were any other cars written off.

So, now that we’ve gotten our facts straight we can move on, thinking: a) that all suspicious travel-related incidents in a time of domestic terrorism deserve an equal chance of investigation, b) Sarah Dean seems to fall into the category of “hapless clerk” and not “terrorist mastermind” unless she truly, truly sucks at it,  and c) the Sun‘s standards for “Fireball” would not be accepted by any Dungeon Master in the entire constellation of parallel universes of RPG’s.

Assange Analyzed!

Wikileaks

Yes, yes, I know. We’re two for two here on the ol’ raincoaster blog with the Julian Assange posts, but I’m on a roll and it’s my blog, so you have little to no choice, so just go with it. If you’ve come for celebrity news, I’m going to have to direct you to Lolebrity.net and Ayyyy.com for your fix for the next couple of weeks, as I’m currently in the middle of a panic attack about moving to the frozen tundra and transforming into icecoaster, and that seems to bring out the Julian Assange fangirl in me, for whatever reason God only knows, and if he does I hope he’ll do me the kindness of keeping it to himself.

So, where was I? About to introduce you to this very interesting little bit of analysis from Van in the comments on a post on the JulianAssangeFancier’sGuild tumblr, and better proof all Tumblrs should have comments sections built in, you will not find. And why not? Because you probably weren’t looking for it in the first place, and even now you’re too lazy, ya bum. So that’s why.

Julian Assange’s handwriting (sample size: three words, you’ll note) analyzed:

Publish or Perish Julian Assange or you could just continue to get book deals and ghost writers

Publish or Perish Julian Assange or you could just continue to get book deals and ghost writers

1.  he doesn’t follow rules (letters are not straight and aligned)
2.  but he knows what he wants  (underlining)
3.  he doesn’t always complete things  (letters p and b are not closed)
4.  he’s confident and also careless ( how he dots his i’s)
5.  he’s not patient ( looking at the first letter h)
6.  at times he likes to be private ( looking at letters 4-6 in first word, it’s
close together unlike the other words)
7.  He’s likes children and enjoys playing with them (looking at 2nd word,
it’s written in a child-like way)
8.  He’s strict, does not bend or compromise (looking at the word (“or”)
9.  He’s a dreamer (handwriting slopes upwards)
10.  He’s unusual, different ( looking at letters u and b)
11.  He changes (looking at letters i, s and p)
12.  He’s not romantic (can’t pick up anything….I could be wrong)
nb:  …….these are just guesses……….hope he doesn’t get mad:)

Hmmm. Handwriting analysis: harmless fangirling Ouija board substitute, or dangerous intelligence? Having watched a world-class expert at work once (he worked with the police on the Paul Bernardo/Karla Homolka case, among others) I would say it’s probably more accurate than you’d expect, but less accurate than you can count on. Still, you can say one thing for it unequivocally: it gave me blog fodder when I needed it!