God Is Dead; Long Live …

Existential rage comic iz existential

Existential rage comic iz existential

“Fuck”?

It’s true: Fuck is now the most important word in the English language, and it’s all Nietzsche’s fault. Oh sure, blame Nietzsche. Jump on the bandwagon.

Here’s the late Osho (aka Chandra Mohan Jain aka Acharya Rajneesh aka Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) explaining how the death of god has elevated this once-humble ejaculation to pre-eminent status.

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Celebrate an Intimate Hanukah

How is this menorah different from all other menorahs?

How is this menorah different from all other menorahs?

Okay, people, it’s NOT JUST ME and my dirty mind that sees something odd about this menorah.

Is it?

Because sure, it looks like a nice, gay-friendly, low-profile, modern menorah.

But it also looks a hell of a lot like a string of anal beads.

Remove candles before use.

PS thanks to, uh, Kate Spade New York for the link? I really, really don’t think they saw the same thing I did here. Kate Spade has impeccable taste. Uh. Tastes.

Ecumenical Holiday Unicorn Chaser Roundup

Katamari Damancy Christmas Katamari

Katamari Damancy Christmas Katamari

Christmas is coming and Hanukah is here already, so here’s an equal-time hump day Unicorn Chaser to freshen up the longest week of the year on the longest night. Light it up with this innovative, nerd-resonant solution to your seasonal decorating challenges: the Katamari Damancy Christmas … Thing.

Equal time: Zebranukah

Hanukah in black and white

Hanukah in black and white

Who says there are no Jews in Africa?

Hey, FLASHBACK TIME!

Tinfoil Christmas

Tinfoil Christmas

The thing about these tinfoil trees was you were supposed to buy one of those rotating multicoloured spotlights so it wasn’t actually prettily silver or colourless; it would throb alternately in red, blue, yellow, and green, like a pagan discotheque on Mars. If you tried to use one of these things nowadays, you’d probably scramble cellphone signals for a square kilometer around. Comedy gold.

But let’s not see it as Two Solitudes; let’s see it as partners.

Hanukah and Christmas kittehs

Hanukah and Christmas kittehs

Oh don’t they just look SO pleased to be celebrating the season together? You can’t see Druid Kitteh, as he was up in a tree at the time this photo was taken.

and, last but not least, in fact foremost in Unicorn Chaserianism, is this video of puppies playing under the tree. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…

Kim Jong Il: welcome to Antenora

Kim Jong Il my urine will bring us victory

Kim Jong Il my urine will bring us victory

There’s no use wishing Kim Jong-Il will rest in peace, because that would be the farthest thing from justice this or any other world could perpetrate. If it weren’t such a long walk, I’d put my dancing shoes on for this. Instead, in keeping with my new mantle of professionalism, I have decided to make this exclusive photojournalism report on Kim Jong-Il‘s journey to Antenora, the Second Round of the Ninth Circle of HellFirst, let’s remember the Beloved Leader as he was in life:

Yep, that’s pretty much it. Now direct to our exclusive coverage, featuring pix from those intrepid photogs over at the World’s Suddenly Least Purposeful Blog, KimJongIlLookingAtThings.

Continue reading

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand CUT!

Viggo Peaces Out

Viggo Peaces Out

Strangest direction to an actor ever?

You’re not walking like a Jew, Viggo.

Let’s review:

Well, my first choice for Jew Demonstrating Jewish Walking is a washout, alas, but it did turn me on to one of the greatest websites of all time: JewOrNotJew!

For reference, this walk is virtually part Jewish almost most of the time.

This one is a safe fallback:

Note red carpet, velvet ropes, and soundtrack. Hmmm, is Kanye Jewish too?

Oh, and in reference to the title, if you want to know if Viggo‘s circumsized, you can get The Indian Runner, which has several seconds of full-frontal Viggo. Some frames of which have been moderately photoshopped.

Viggo with muppets

Viggo with muppets by Michaelangelo okay not really.