Here’s thirty seconds of horror or, seen from another angle, thirty seconds of complete self-fulfillment

Which is why I’m not a relativist.

Supervenus is an entry in the 17th Brussels Short Film Festival, and I don’t know how it did but as far as I’m concerned it should Win All The Things.

About these ads

OpHippie: the Paperwork Situation

Human gerbils

Human gerbils

You wouldn’t think there’d be a lot of paperwork involved in being a hippie. You’d be wrong. It just comes with bonus hard physical work and holistic “Namaste” garnishes.

By Monday, I will have walked 15 miles because of government cutbacks. #FACT. I have certain paperwork that has to be completed “within five business days” at a certain government office in Not-Ucluelet. This deadline was assigned Wednesday. On Thursday, I walked in to Not-Ucluelet, 2.5 miles, to find out the office was closed. I walked back to OpHippie Global HQ, disgruntled and somewhat fried, for lo I am middle aged and fat, although 4″ around the waist less fat than I was when I got here.

OHO! I thought. I will be cleverer tomorrow! I will phone and ask if they can do this before walking into town.

I did so today. They confirmed that, yes, the paperwork had to be done in that office, it was open, and the paperwork, in fact, COULD be done at that office today.

I walked into the office. Another 2.5 miles. The only staffer there said she hadn’t been trained on that software and could not help me, so could I come back on Monday.

Ty. Pi. Cal.

I walked back, 2.5 miles. And on Monday, I get to do it all again, hopefully minus the futility. Meanwhile, the actual client work I’ve already been paid for has to wait for all this goddam walking to be over, which naturally the clients are not thrilled about.

For this and other, Going Completely “The Beach” Related Reasons, this phase of OpHippie is drawing to a close. The ecovillage has essentially been kicked off the land, as in we are all welcome to stay here, but we have to spend our daily work ration working for the landowner, not the ecovillage, which means that the entire reason I moved here is suddenly entirely gone, replaced with two hours of literally shoveling shit and planting and weeding a day, while being denied the opportunity to do my own work, because the only room with wifi closes early, and I do my best work at night.

And the only cafes in town close – get this – prior to 5pm.

So.

While I am still committed to the ecovillage idea, this particular iteration is collapsing, the core group is splitting up and heading in different directions, and I need to find another home and another way to support myself until The Sikrit Projeckt is launched. I have an interview down the road at a resort on the beach for a night auditor/manager job tomorrow, as well as a freelance opportunity that’s up in the air, and a job audition for a great opportunity in Vancouver (literally, the ONLY job I would consider moving back to Vancouver for). If I get the job tomorrow, I’ll be living in staff accommodations right on the beach. If I get the second, I’ll rent a room in a shared house in Not-Ucluelet. If I get the third, I’ll get a room in a shared place in Vancouver, and I happen to have a line on one that’s good.

Next week, I’ll be back in Vancouver to do some pet-sitting, and after that? Who knows? The uncertainty, at least, is a totally hippie experience. Man.

PS: Propane leak in the kitchen tonight, and the window is still missing from the office after the break-in, so I have a choice of poisoning myself or not getting my work done tonight.

So, that’s the state of OpHippie. Anarchy. How fitting.

Tofino and environs

Yorkies: like Chihuahuas, with a side of provincial arrogance

Hello, may the men in white coats help you? Perhaps with the "Bunny Jacket"?

Hello, welcome to WordPress.com. How may the men in white coats help you? Perhaps with the “Bunny Jacket”?

From time to time, as regular readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog may be aware, we volunteer in the WordPress.com technical support forums. One uses the Royal “We” here, you understand. One understands. Hopefully, given the stats on this blog, at least several of you understand.

And in the depths of the technical support forums, we occasionally encounter a type which requires technical support more than most; it requires, in fact, medical intervention. As long as they remain polite, they get help. Once they lower the bar, however, they become my lawful prey and learn just what real, true, bar-lowering looks like up close and/or personal.

Behold.

  1. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 3:31 PM

    Please noteth that unless by the fourteenth of February of the year twenty fourteen WordPress.com does not remove the personal information of and not exclusive to names, addresses, dates of birth, names of children, names of spouses on the blog known as kevgreen1950 or ‘the man behind the mask’ then you will leave no choice under the courts of human rights than to remove such information.
    Save as for any credible information contained upon said site, every other defamatory or illegal insert should be deleted, namely names, addresses, ages, occupations, spousal details and any other offending inserts or postings relating to minors especially. Failure to do so could in Immediate terms be classed as supplying information as to provocate or at least attract paedophile attention due to the content of minors involved – this would be seen as a ‘pimping’ or offering a minor/s for targeting.
    I am sure you would not wish to be associated with such activities and I am confident of a successful conclusion.
    I can grant you audience at [email redacted]
    Regards
    Kate Jones

    The blog I need help with is mildredpilchard.wordpress.com.

  2. These matters are not discussed on public support forums available to everyone with internet access as this one is.

    See here http://en.support.wordpress.com/private-information/

    Then use this form http://en.wordpress.com/abuse/

    I’d like to add that you first must determine whether or not the site is a free hosted WordPress>COM blog or not. Many people assume WordPress.ORG installs are hosted by WordPress.COM when they aren’t.

    2) Determine whether or not the blog is hosted at WordPress.com.
    If you see a link that reads “Blog at WordPress.com” in the footer of the blog (linked to http://wordpress.com), this normally means that it is hosted here (although external blogs may place this in the footer, if they choose to). Also, if you are logged into WordPress.com, you will see your gray-colored admin bar at the top of your screen.

  3. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 3:56 PM

    I am not here to look into the ins and outs of any wordpress blogs, indeed that is for wordpress to investigate as the onus as any future Defendant will be upon them. I have given the specifics, I can only suggest wordpress looks into this matter as a course of urgency since this is a wordpress.com site in question as per information previously supplied.
    I now think you are trying to deflect responsibility which does not good to say the least!

    I have a screenshot of your response thus far.

  4. No one will investigate a complaint that has yet to be made and therefore does not exist. Hopefully, you are clear on that.
    See also: http://wordpress.com/complaints/

  5. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 3:59 PM

    Oh and Court Orders are not allowed to be emailed, they need to be sent to a bona fide address – allowing one exists of course.

    I suggest to WordPress that they seek to rectify this matter forthwith to reach an amicable conclusion. I am not so naaive as to think that absolutely nobody in the employ of WordPress does not read this forum (whatnots).

    End of communication. Over and out.

  6. Click the link and locate the court order address please. If I post it here the software will redact it. http://wordpress.com/complaints/

    Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to
    court-orders@wordpress.com.

  7. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 4:09 PM

  8. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 4:12 PM

    Only your report button seems to spew this out relentlessly!

    Is it some ‘spook site of imitation’? I reckon not.

    Anyhow at ten past midnight I am not in the frame of mind to be entering into a to-and-fro.

    My position is clear is it not? No deviation, no quarter.

    I am truly out of here.

  9. “Please noteth?” Sounds legit.

  10. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 6:25 AM

    Oh I do apologise raincoaster for my grammar, I had originally written something else with the word ‘forthwith’ in it, the two words became strung together.

    OK for everyone’s benefit it should read Please note – is that better now?

    Anyway the message remains the same, the information on the blog I have linked to contains the personal information of other people, obviously you find it acceptable for people to do this especially when the details of house addresses are posted up where minors (children to you) reside.
    These people are now having to move home and it is perfectly obvious that wordpress supports the actions of those posting up this information. It needs removing immediately.
    The Police have of course been informed, maybe wordpress could check it out with North Wales Police to see if it is really ‘legit’ as you say.
    What does wordpress intend doing exactly? You have now received a complaint wordpress, so it needs acting upon does it not?

  11. Please use the links that @timethief gave you above and file a report using that process. yes the process is formal, but that is to protect everyone that has a blog here from someone just showing up in the forum with a rant demanding that a blog be taken down.

    The process does work. Endangering someone’s safety is against the Terms of Service. You need to make a very solid case on why a blog should be removed, that case can not be make by making the demands as you have done here and expecting us to do research half way around the world.

    Until you file the formal complaint with solid evidence in the submittable nothing will happen and eventually we will get tired of trying to get you to do the correct actions. Threatening legal action will do nothing either. Quite common for people to threaten legal action because they failed to read the Terms of Service. Also at some point this thread will be closed by the staff.

    If you have a valid complaint, the Terms of Service group will deal with it, continuing to post here will get you nothing. Sorry but that is just the facts of life and the law.

  12. If you refuse to follow instructions and pull legalese out your ass you will not be successful at achieving the objective. TT gave you the link which leads to success. Use it, don’t bullshit and try to pretend to be a lawyer, and staff will look into the case. Otherwise they will not.

  13. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 2:51 PM

    OK everyone – whoever you are????

    anyway absolutely nobody has confirmed that the link I gave you belongs to this site.

    Do they or not????

    This is the first point of action since some entity called timethief interacted and formed contract with me.

    Tell ya wot (is that USA enuf 4yaz?) Why don’t you contact the blog instigator and ask them to take the details off the net?

    Don’t try to threaten me because you are a faceless nothing entity – tell ya wot ya’ll I’ll go to alternative social media in the UK to warn not to subscribe to your site – howz that grabya?

    We can carry this on in the USA if you prefer since me brother and a credible relative of the children living in the UK is concerned?

    All you people want to do is be obstructive – I wonder why that might be???

    Answer the credible questions of why it is acceptable to publish the details of people under witness protection, or give me an address to complain to. San Fran Cisco PD??

    Ban me if ya like ta, it will be outed in the UK to avoid you if you like…

    Roll your dice – take your choice – formality ‘don’t’ work obviously because ‘wordpress’ is full of seemingly antagonistic factions.

    The question to ask is why ‘wordpress’ don’t answer under their own steam, why do they need to hide behind ‘people’ probably dragged in from the net??

    oh and as for some people jumping onto ma grammar – I am wot’s known as a dyslexic – yes that’s right – just like ‘The Fonze’ strangeness eh?? So you like to discriminate against people with a mental stigmatism – go figure..

    I am not enjoying having to translate my postings into American – I am convinced you understand English of which ‘noteth’ is actually a word

    believe it or not!

  14. @mildredpilchard
    I’m not sure what part of this you fail to comprehend and this is the last time I will post here because
    (1) I provided the correct information above, and
    (2) this thread has turned into a gong show.

    To determine whether or not the blog is hosted at WordPress.com you can look for a link that reads “Blog at WordPress.com” in the footer of the blog (linked to http://wordpress.com), this normally means that it is hosted here (although external blogs may place this in the footer, if they choose to). Also, if you are logged into WordPress.com, you will see your gray-colored admin bar at the top of your screen.

    If and when you complete the form I provided the link to above http://wordpress.com/complaints/ your issue will move forward. If you fail to do that the complaint does not exist.

    Click the link and locate the court order address please. Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to
    court-orders@wordpress.com.

  15. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:00 PM

    Oh and was that IT?? why not say as such??

    Much to hide eh? eyh for you Yanks.

    In fact why not be up front and state that you are in the US?

    There is more than one way to skin a cat isn’t there? – so the saying goes in the UK.

  16. Okay!!! You sound hysterical!!! And unable to follow instructions!!!

    I, personally, as an investigative reporter who is also a WordPress.com consultant, will be happy to undertake the investigation you request, but my fee is $2500 payable in advance.

    Otherwise, use the fucking link you were provided to contact staff instead of giving us laughing material here in the forums, where all of your interactions are public, connected to your username and the allegations and blog you are complaining about, and archived by Google.

  17. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:03 PM

    err look at the link I sent you ta- is it wordpress or not? you seem to be unable to answer my question – why??

    gong? what does that mean please? Is that an Amerivcan term because English people don’t have a clue what you mean!

    Speak English please – not rocket science is it?

  18. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:04 PM

    err look at the link I sent you ta- is it wordpress or not? you seem to be unable to answer my question – why??

    gong? what does that mean please? Is that an Amerivcan term because English people don’t have a clue what you mean!

    Speak English please – not rocket science is it?

  19. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:05 PM

    Nope just answer, is the link I sent ya one of yours or not

    Is that a MENSA question to you?

  20. Sure. Like I sayeth unto thee, crosseth mine palm with argent and yea verily I shall render unto you the answereths to thine questionones.

  21. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:09 PM

    Oh and by the way I do not give a Thrupenny bit about who or what you claim to be.

    Do you exist in the UK – no you are unremarkable! If you can ‘blag’ that amount from your ‘clients’ then jolly good for you, otherwise I expect you are nothing

  22. Have you filed the complaint form yet?

  23. I expect if you don’t know who I am you don’t have Google where you come from.

  24. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:15 PM

    Well until thou cometh from The Riding Knowneth as Yorkshire – please do not try to insult me by your faux what? English are you trying to spout at me?

    Anyway, you confirm my prior thoughts, this wordpress stuff is an internet sham whereby no-one will answer a credible question like does the link I previously sent belong or come under wordpress – why the heck will nobody answer this?

    If you need me to resend the link then you only have to request and I shall oblige – it is not a difficult question so why all the deflection one wonders?

  25. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:20 PM

    Oh here we go ‘Don’t you know wqho I am?’ = fascetiosness and particularly ugly in the UK

    Do you know with whom you address? blah-blah words already!

    I do not care one jot who you are only what will you do about

    http://api.viglink.com/api/click?format=go&jsonp=vglnk_jsonp_13918180248457&key=bbb516d91daee20498798694a42dd559&loc=http%3A%2F%2Foutlawoutpost.freeforums.net%2Fthread%2F47%2Falternative-building-materials%3Fpage%3D2&v=1&libId=41e1dc3f-21f6-4761-bfab-fc220da14a40&out=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com%2F&title=Alternative%20building%20materials%20%7C&txt=www.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com

    It seems to me that you would very much argue the toss than be integral and act upon what I present to you.

    Why don’t you answer my question – ego or no ego?

  26. If you still haven’t filed the form it will appear that you aren’t distressed about the actual issue you created this thread for. You will leave us convinced that you were merely seeking a soapbox to broadcast from.

  27. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:23 PM

    Declined to answer then because you can’t! Say no more because silence speaks volumes

  28. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:25 PM

    Err nope timethief, you have neither confirmed nor denied that the link I sent you belongs to wordpress ie YOU

    I CANNOT SPELL IT OUT ANY PLAINER SORRY

    Does it or not?

  29. I don’t give a toss what you think and no one else will either until you follow the instructions and complete the form. Until your act on that there is no complaint.

    I know for a fact they teach reading comprehension skills in the UK at the public school level. As I see no indication of higher learning in your responses and as the complaint form is a simple document that any school kid could master, I’m sure you can manage to complete it any time you want to.

    1. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:29 PM

      Is this a wordpress blog or not??? what is difficult about that question to answer and I will re-phrase it to make it as simple as possible

      HERE YOU ARE -

      http://api.viglink.com/api/click?format=go&jsonp=vglnk_jsonp_13918180248457&key=bbb516d91daee20498798694a42dd559&loc=http%3A%2F%2Foutlawoutpost.freeforums.net%2Fthread%2F47%2Falternative-building-materials%3Fpage%3D2&v=1&libId=41e1dc3f-21f6-4761-bfab-fc220da14a40&out=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com%2F&title=Alternative%20building%20materials%20%7C&txt=www.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com

      DOES IT SAY wordpress at the end or not? Am I blind now too because I can get my dog to read it to me if it doesn’t

    2. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:31 PM

      Flipping useless waste of time if you ask me – a tip for ya, don’t bite the hand that feeds ya cos some of you are suffering the recession more than others

      Oh, don’t you know who I am?

    3. If and when you complete the form I provided the link to above more than once now http://wordpress.com/complaints/ your issue will move forward. If you fail to do that the complaint does not exist.

      Click the link and locate the court order address please. Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to
      court-orders@wordpress.com.

    4. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:37 PM

      Oh did I not already say the form spewed this out = there is a fault with your reporting system. Bah

      Still not a single reply to my ONE question – not too taxing for you I hope?

      OK here goes in baby language – does a blog ending in wordpress belong to you?

      Yes or no will be the answer

      Give mummy a yes or a nod, or give mummy a no a shake of the head, there’s a good baby, mummy loves you – here’s a biscuit for being a good baby

    5. Thanks so much for convincing me that you do not have a serious issue that merits the completion of a complaint form. This thread is tagged for closure.

    6. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:42 PM

      OK I have yet again=yawn tried to submit this it goes from submit to immediately validating and it quite obviously is not getting through to wordpress – a fault?

      Not my fault because I have tried submitting lots and lots – next excuse?

    7. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:43 PM

      YOU STILL DID NOT ANSWER MY QUESTION – BUT YOU WON’T WILL YOU????

    8. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:46 PM

      Oh carry on and close this down , I notice the other participant soon elected to leave lol.

      Much to hide? = yes

      Protectors = yes

      Draw attention to your wordpress = yes

      Over to you

      Auf Viederhoeren

    9. Oh, Yorkshire. That explains it.

    10. I can access and complete the form at http://wordpress.com/complaints/ using Chrome 32, IE 11 and Firefox 26. My husband and 2 employees here can also access it. However, we have no court order so we won’t be emailing. Here’s what I’ll do for you. I’ll copy and paste the form here for you.

      We host millions of blogs on WordPress.com. We have no control over what content our users decide to post on their blogs, but we do have a set of rules about what content is and isn’t acceptable on our service. If you have an issue with a blog on our system, please select one of the following to route your complaint:
      Spam blogs: Please this form to report spam blogs. We will immediately suspend any spam blogs.
      Mature blogs: Please use this form to report blogs with mature topics (erotica, porn, etc). Mature blogs are welcome on WordPress.com, but we will mark them in our system so they don’t show up in public listings.
      Copyright violations: If one of our blogs features your copyright protected material (and you did not authorize your content to be published by the blog in question), please use our DMCA reporting process.
      Defamation, abuse, threats: We suspend content for inciting violence or threatening or impersonating a private person. Please see our abuse process for more information.
      Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to court-orders@wordpress.com.
      Law enforcement: If you are a member of a law enforcement agency, please contact us at law-enforcement@wordpress.com.

    11. FILL OUT THE FORM BY THE WILL OF ASGARD

    12. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:58 PM

      yeah raincoaster you carry on talking like you know what you are on abbart eh?

      Well timethief my windows 8 don’t want to entertain you, I found that part just fine thanks, maybe Bill Gates needs a tug eh?

      PS you only had to say to use Google Chrome

    13. We just booted up my old Windows XP PC. My employee used IE8 and had zero trouble reading what I posted here in this thread and accessing the form either when compatibility mode was enabled or disabled.

    14. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 4:04 PM

      I have no idea of what you are talking about – ASGARD wtf??

      Anyway you can still answer my question, Google or no Goggle!

      We don’t all reside in America, thankfully.

    15. They are currently booting Windows 8 and I’m expecting there won’t be any issue with it either. Moreover, all you need is this Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to court-orders@wordpress.com.
      So you’re dismissed.

    16. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 4:07 PM

      Well perhaps it’s my Norton but one thing’s for sure it flicks over to validating at the speed of lightening, tomorrow I will record it with my phone so you can see. Will that appease you??

      Oh and you didn’t answer my question yet, why would that be??

    17. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 4:09 PM

      Yes I could post it onto You Tube so the world and its uncle can see – just so they don’t make the same mistake of course

      Night Then, you have not answered my question nor taken any action. You are quite simply……

    18. An ellipsis abuser? A Yorkshirian? Don’t keep us in suspense!

    19. You have been provided with everything you need to make your complaint, which appears to be a very low priority to you given what you have posted here. However, if you want to keep bumping this thread then we can do that. I wouldn’t to leave you all alone and suffering here because you lack what it takes to email the correct Staff department because that wouldn’t be nice.

    20. Virt, I like your style.

    21. Seconded.

Some days, in the tech support forum, you’re just like…

OH FUCK NOT ANOTHER WOULD BE LAWYER

OH FUCK NOT ANOTHER WOULD BE LAWYER

Facebook Fridays

You’d think joining a group of actual hackers would filter out the random Friday night drunks, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong. Behold.

On the wall of the group 2600, a wild post appears, something garbled about give-backs and mentoring. JHC here appears to be importuning Adrian Lamo for mentorship, whereupon I make a crack that the one time I asked him for advice he suggested I visit the library. Whereupon things got weird. Whereupon Joseph Hostile Crank took it to private messages, as he has doubtless done with countless other completely uninterested women before me.

  • Conversation started today
  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    do you have knowledge? I don’t care whom did what to whom. I want to know how to get where you are at.

  • Lorraine Murphy

    I’m a journalist, not a hacker. Ask Adrian.

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    then why put up the front. can you mentor?

    or did you put up that front because your ego gets smaller everytime he makes a post?

    you are a journalist. knowledge should be free.

  • Lorraine Murphy

    I didn’t put up any front. You got hostile on me out of nowhere, so I trolled you.

    Journalists get paid by the word.

    I think you should go offline till you sober up.

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    i think you should respect the nex gen.

    we will break the stories you will be frothing at the mouth for.

    you arent leet. so lets save the insults. after all, you are mingling with known pentesters and insulting the ones that are known the most. what is your MO?

  • Lorraine Murphy

    At this point my MO is to pry the creepy drunk off my leg. Go bother Adrian.

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    all foreplay aside, what do you know that i dont?

  • Lorraine Murphy

    Why would I tell you, asshole?

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    because you but the hack in hacker until you make yourself useful, bitch.

    put

  • Lorraine Murphy

    Get off the internet till you’re sober or I’ll tell Adrian on you.

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    your a fed. let me start that rumor

  • Lorraine Murphy

    He doesn’t like it when people make 2600 look stupid.

    Go for it. DO IT.

    You’re not going to be able to start it though. You’re about ten years too late.\

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    omg, you work for the feds

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    you really do

  • Lorraine Murphy

    Yes, and what I’m going to do now will show you proof.

  • Jeffrey H. Chryst

    usted tiene ojos bonitos

    fed peers deep

    i love you, lets make out

    muah go fuck yourself

l33t, dude.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE (there always is)

Continue reading

ZOMG LIKE THE CONSTITOOSHUN PROTEX MEEEE!

There's one born every minute

There’s one born every minute

Just the latest and greatest of the bizarrarie in the forum:

Oh Leonard J. Gojer, what have you done? [besides deleted your blog since this post went live?]

  1. I paid for traffic from http://www.visitorshark.com. The contract with them says that there is no guarantee that the traffic will show up on my analytics, which is your WordPress analytics. The traffic was for 6 million visitors per month. The traffic does not show up, just like they said it would not.

    How can prevent this problem in the future? That is, what do I do to insure that I chose a source of traffic that DOES in fact show up on your analytics?

    The blog I need help with is npcompleteproof.wordpress.com.

  2. Hi,

    You can see your WordPress.com site stats through your My Stats tab. There’s a link to get to your My Stats tab at the bottom of this support article.

    http://en.support.wordpress.com/stats/

  3. I’m not sure if that will completely answer your question, but it’s a start.

    Also, although you don’t specifically mention Google analytics, this support thread may also help with your question of analytics in general.

    http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/how-to-add-google-analytics-in-wordpress-free-account?replies=2

  4. I was going to hire a programmer on Odesk who had promised me that I could see the analytics if I hired him. I need to know if there is any way, whether with Google Analytics or some other analytics that this can be done, because I don’t want to pay the programmer if the idea doesn’t really work. This is a low budget project for a website.

  5. If you are paying for traffic, you are paying for spam hits. Spam hits are stripped out of WordPress.com analytics, because they are spam.

    You can try building legitimate traffic instead of paying for robots. Do you even know what you just did to your brand by posting this in a forum that shows up in Google?

  6. So, it’s not good to pay for traffic?

    My objective is to convert my personal labor, (let’s say about 2 hours a week, give or take), into quality traffic to the site. How can do that in a reliable way?

  7. 6,000,000 robot hits will do nothing except lighten your bank account – why do you want the traffic? If you are that desperate how about going down to the local coffee shop and giving cookies to anyone that clicks on your blog – waste of time I think

    Search the forum here for SEO or traffic – you will find hundreds of suggestions

    see also: http://onecoolsitebloggingtips.com/

  8. So, what you’re suggesting is that ALL of these services on the internet, (not just the expensive ones), don’t accomplish anything at all.

    I started my “career” (if you could call it that) in internet marketing by reading these paperback books that they have in popular bookstores.

    What I am trying to avoid is to devalue the hourly worth of my time. I have a normal daytime job and this work is supplemental in addition to that. Think about this, why I would want a “second” job that only is worth minimum wage hours?

    What you’re saying is that spending money doesn’t get the value of the money spent.

    This website that I am promoting is a university academic topic. I am trying to target people who are like Computer Science students. Perhaps I should find some forums that have more of those types of people.

  9. On your blog, you say you believe you’ve proved P=NP. If you really believe that you have, then the most profitable use of your time would probably be to write it up, submit it to a peer-reviewed journal, and then collect your million-dollar Millennium Prize.

  10. The literature that I read says that my objective is to obtain a lot of traffic. If the traffic can only be generated by my labor, that limits the total income that comes from the work, because there are 24×7 hours in a week, and I already have a job.

    I think that these people who send emails saying that you can get rich in internet marketing and don’t mention anything about the method that you would reliably do this should be put in prison for creating a big scam.

  11. With respect to what you say about P=NP, I spoke with the dean of computer science from my university where I graduated, and he said pretty much the same thing that you said.

    I have been paying a lot of money to scam websites thinking erroneously that at least one of them would not be a scam.

  12. When I discovered my formula, I was a student in the university, and on the day that I was thinking about it, it created a “ruckus” among the students in the school, and I basically got expelled from that school and had to graduate from another school.

    I am trying to avoid situations that operate like scams.

  13. One thing that all of this experience has taught me is that scams have a certain sociological structure to them. At the top of the scam is someone who is malevolent who is directing the scam.

  14. Long ago advertisers figured out how not to pay for fake robot traffic – in fact advertisers are good enough to figure out if you are trying to run up your count or getting a few friends to fake traffic for you – then you get suspended from their program – and you can’t sell ads on your blog here anyway – you can signup for Adwords and a lot of traffic gets you not much money -

    You want traffic – read the link I gave you – all you did with your “research” is make the people that sold you the book rich – there is a sucker born every minute – sorry

  15. I charge $200 per hour for my advice as an independent WordPress consultant, and for free I told you that was spam. You may persist if you so desire, but be aware that Google is sophisticated enough to know what kind of patsy pays for spam hits, and vindictive enough to throw his search engine rankings down a well.

  16. “People who send ‘get rich quick’ emails may be scamming me” WELL DUH.

  17. I will read the information that you gave me. (to auxclass).

    (to raincoaster). I don’t want to take advantage of you, because you are a dedicated person to your profession. I am doing something that is like a “pastime”. That is to say that I don’t need the money to function at a basic level. I only need the money if I want to have “nicer” things.

    I got into a big argument with the employees of Google about two years ago, for the same thing that you just mentioned right now.
    They were very angry that I was “moonlighting” from my existing job.

    You have to keep in mind that my daytime job is for a construction related company, and those people don’t have any legal obligation to take orders from Google, because construction requires a university degree in Civil Engineering.

  18. PS – once they find a sucker they will sell your info to other people that will scam you – sort of a round robin thing

  19. A person like me can use the mathematics of the “Net Present Value” computation, (if you don’t know what this is, look it up on wikipedia), to evaluate internet marketing propositions. That is a more suitable method for determining if a financial arrangement is a scam.

    What is really a shame is that all of these companies on the internet are committing the crime of “material misrepresentation”. If you buy something in a store, (like Target or Sears), you don’t have that problem.

  20. I have been dealing with someone who is an attorney. He said that this problem falls under the subject heading of “due diligence”. The task is to separate the legitimate from the illegitimate.

    There is a way to make this work. It just takes work.

  21. The difference between what I know and what you know is that you know things about the internal mechanism of the internet, (like what happens inside of the servers). I never learned those things, that’s why I am at the mercy of those paperback books which don’t tell the whole truth.

    Do you think I can find a book on such a topic?

  22. So two years ago Google told you that what you were doing was wrong. Yet you persist.

    I don’t give a rat’s ass what your day job is, you are clearly not entering the internet space with anything like authenticity and honesty and thus you are getting the results you deserve. Either stop behaving like this or deal with the fallout, which is (as you’ve noted) basically ostracization.

    There is no way to make what you are doing work. It does not work. In fact, your WP.com blog has already been reported for violating the Terms of Service over this issue. STOP DOING THIS.

    Duh.

  23. Please explain that last statement to me about the “Terms of Service”.

    I don’t know anything about that. I did not read them very well.

    You talk about honesty, but you forget one very important thing. As long as there are scams going on out there, you haven’t “cleaned” up the world by attacking me, you have only stifled a very good idea, which is my formula.

    I am not going to spend any more money on those services.

  24. I don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re going to spend money at WordPress.com; my concern is that people who buy into scams don’t pollute the statistics and the blog pool here.

    If you didn’t read the ToS before, I suggest you read them now.

    If you haven’t gotten the point, con artists don’t generate legitimate web hits. Legitimate web hits are what is counted here. If you wish non-legitimate web hits, you will have to go somewhere else.

    No-one who pretends to a knowledge of algorithms can be ignorant of the import of these statements: take your spam farm elsewhere.

  25. What you just said right now is in violation of the U.S. Constitution, and you know it down to the core of your being.

    The politics of the world DOES NOT revolve upon what you say it does.

  26. You’re hilarious. The internet was not invented in 1776, moron. Spam and con artists do not enjoy the protection of the Constitution or the Amendments, which is why fraud is punishable by law in the United States. Fraud. Which is what you have engaged in. You have paid for fraud, and you have posted to this forum complaining that your Fraud was not counted as the equal of lawful web views. You’ve done all of this in writing. Congratulations, you are truly the stupidest person I’ve seen online today and that counts Ron Brynaert.