PEEWEE with Me!

He's trouble.

He’s trouble.

There are actual real-world advantages to spending as much time as I do on social media. Don’t believe me? FINE! You, then, will not be able to be my date for an 11pm showing of PeeWee’s Big Adventure at the Rio Theatre in glorious uptown Vangroover, just south of The Drive. And why will you be unable to be my date? Because you’ll be sitting in the corner with your fingers in your ears and a pile of electronics around you that you’ve unplugged lest they spy on you through the webcam while you’re asleep, going LALALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU SOCIAL MEDIA DOES NOT PAY OFF EYE ARR ELL. Yes, you will.

Here’s the announcement. Now to find a date. Any brave volunteers want to step up?

FREE TICKETS ALERT: “You don’t wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.” What can we say about Tim Burton’s PEE WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE? It’s a whimsical delight that, like Pee Wee himself, just never gets old. Burton’s career has had an interesting trajectory since this film’s release in 1985; some would argue that he hasn’t made a good film in years and is really just a frustrated set decorator. *What’s your favourite Tim Burton movie and why?* Leave your comment below to maybe (probably) win TWO TICKETS to PEE WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE this Friday at 11:00. Winners (and there will be many, especially if you take a moment to SHARE THIS POST) contacted via Facebook email (check your “other” box so as not to miss out!) and must be 19+. *PLEASE SHARE* this link, it really helps us let people know what we’re doing! Good luck!

And here’s the comment I made that won it for me:

So, who’s the brave person who will consent to be my Plus One for the evening? If you think it might be unendurable, always remember: they serve beer at the Rio. Volunteers please line up in the comments section.

About these ads

But seriously, how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?

It was better than this guy’s.

Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!

Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!

Honestly, woman, are you INSANE? You find the last man on Earth who actually brings flowers on a date and you stand him up????

Internet, get me this man’s contact details immediately!

Post-Valentine’s Day Unicorn Chaser

Geek Online Dating with Julian Assange

Geek Online Dating with Julian Assange; satisfaction guaranteed or your encryption key back!

And how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?

Spokesmodeling: looks like somebody’s found a way to keep Wikileaks flush while fighting court cases around the world! Smart thinking; the marketing of Lay-A-Neckbeard.net is challenging in the extreme, thanks to people’s selfish refusal to be sexually attracted to the physically repulsive. All they need is a little marketing makeover (and diet and exercise, facials, stylists, and grooming tips) and POOF! Instant sex god dating site.

Also related: Penis Puppy! Awww, so cute…and about 30 inches long!

Penis Puppy

Penis Puppy

If you’re not dating, how are you spending your time? If you’re like me, like this:

Tea and hardcovers

Tea and hardcovers

You KNOW you have no secrets on the internet. Oh, PS: You left the webcam on.