Category Archives: Sports

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Announcing: the new Canadian flag!

All hail Canucksistan!

All hail the socialist republic of Canucksistan!

All hail the newly-born socialist republic of Canucksistan! My predictive abilities have been pretty good recently, so I say the nation should last something like, oh, seven games plus overtime.

What do you mean you don’t worship the Canucks? Don’t you know they can fly, bitches? THEY CAN FLY!

Canucks can totally fly, a result of pixie dust produced in Canada's gay-friendly bars

Canucks can totally fly, a result of pixie dust produced in Canada's gay-friendly bars

Also, you really, really don’t want to piss off their supporters. No, you really don’t.

Then again, maybe you do.

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

In any case, there are in Canuckistan currently no bigger celebrities than the Canucks (except maybe Ann Murray, of course) but as a token of appreciation for our foreign readers we hereby present the celebrity gossip roundup, one day late because apparently I’m so hot I can’t write uninterrupted in a public place anymore. At least yesterday the men bought be drinks: the one today just tried to break a window. On the other hand, that could be the difference between the DTES and Yaletown…

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Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: Heavy Metal Mashup Edition

No, I’m serious. Heavy Metal Mashups make an excellent Unicorn Chaser, particularly when mashed with Bollywood music. Click Play and trust me.

Iron Maiden vs Dhoom2

There, have your feet stopped moving? Aren’t you happy now? Grateful to me? You damn well should be, you ingrates. Here I am chained to a laptop in the accursed, barren land of Vangroover…

Vangroover, people. Yeah, this is the view

Vangroover, people. Yeah, this is the view

yeah, forget I said that. Anyway…I’ve got a lovely roundup of Unicorn Chasers for you today, including not just one but TWO, count ‘em, TWO musical interludes. Here we present a Mexican Mariachi band (there is another kind of mariachi band?) performing that old Pink Floyd classic, The Wall.

Awww. And as if that weren’t enough, here’s the now-famous Boob Flash at tonight’s Canucks game. I seriously think the Green Men may be out of a job.

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

And to make your Wednesday complete, we have yes, another roundup of celebrity gossip links! Oh! My! God! Can you freaking STAND it?!?!

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Mother’s Day, Canuck style

My hockey mom can kick your hockey mom's ass

My hockey mom can kick your hockey mom's ass

This is where shit gets real on Mother’s Day in Canuckistan. You might not know it, but Canadians are intensely competitive, most particularly on holidays such as Mother’s Day. First comes the Stanley Cupcake bake-off, followed by the face-off, followed by the gloves-off rumble, followed by, of course, the afterparty,

Seal, Clubbing

Seal, Clubbing

seal clubbing.

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Olympic Demonstration Sports 2012: Cat Bowling

cat bowl

Image by dotpolka via Flickr

Since the Vancouver Winter Olympics wrapped, everyone has been looking forward to the Summer Olympics to be held in London in 2012. One of the most exciting aspects of any Olympics is the small list of as-yet-unapproved sports on trial runs as Exhibition sports; if they pass the audition, they may be blessed by the Olympic Committee Fairies and grow up to become Real Olympic Sports.

The greatest of these is Cat Bowling. BEHOLD.

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