Category Archives: Sports

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Sami Salo’s injured testicle Speaks!

Sami Salo is down, but his Twitter stats are up

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!

Yes, Sami Salo’s not-quite-ruptured-but-seriously-slapshotted testicle has spoken. And to me, no less! Now get your ass over to TheCelebrityIndustrialComplex at TrueSlant and read the article in which I quiz Sami Salo’s ball! It’s the first time I’ve ever interviewed a celebrity testicle. Hell, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen balls that speak for themselves!

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Pole Dancing: Raising the Bar

Pole Dancer Jenyne Butterfy raises the bar

No word from the sponsoring federation on whether or not this talented performer won the US National Pole Dancing Championships, but surely it’s gotta be hard to beat a woman who can shoot light out her ladybits.

Related, more flexy dancer.

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Canadians Win: The Cure for Black Sunday

As presumably even penguins in the Antarctic are now aware, on Sunday the Canadian Men’s hockey team lost to the US team for the first time since 1960; this day is now known as Black Sunday or, in the US, as the “Miracle on Ice” because that country ran out of ideas after inventing disco and they’ve just been stealing from the Japanese and the English ever since, and have to reuse old names.

This is what it looked like:

All you need to know about Black Sunday

Seriously, that’s all you need to know about it, other than the one thing nobody knows: how much Brodeur took to throw the game.

And this is the smashingly effective Canadian Comeback:

Canada wins, cuz at least we have health care

Which means we don’t have to worry about things like this…

Rachel Bilson gets a smallpox surprise

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Critical Mess

Have you ever, say, gone for dinner with some friends? To a Japanese restaurant? And one of the friends? Invited one of his friends, whom you didn’t know? And his friend? Turned out to be a bit of an ass? The kind of ass who wheels his bike into the restaurant and jams it between your knees? And then says, “Could you watch that for me? I’m too worried about it to leave it outside”?

Yeah. Me neither. And I’m over it anyway.

By the way, at the last the Critical Mass ride in Vancouver of which I heard details, they ran into a little old lady in a wheelchair. Who was crossing with the light.

The unbearable bikeness of being…bourgeois:

the unbearable bikeness of being...bourgeois

and a slightly edgier iteration of the mindset seen today on the Downtown Eastside:

Is this upward mobility or downward?

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Are You Stupid? Sven Kramer Pwns NBC

Sven Kramer hangs loose

This. Is. Awesome.

Ladies and gentlemen, seek no further; we have our defining moment for the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games:

For those of you too lazy to click the link, it’s hunky Dutch speedskater Sven Kramer coming off a gold-medal-winning performance to be greeted by an NBC reporter getting up in his grill and asking him the routine talking head questions like “where are you from” and “do you think you did well” and so on.

And he looks her in the eye and responds “Are you stupid?“

UPDATED because VANOC took down the first one, and this one is even longer, including her “how do you feel” and his “Ha, I feel pretty goooooood!”

Sven Kramer sez I've got the bread, baby, if you've got the buttah

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