Merry Christmas, love (?) Sherlock

Merry Christmas from John Watson and Sherlock Holmes

Merry Christmas from John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. Are you ready to unwrap the packages?

Sherlock fans (and Johnlock fans) have waited TOO DAMN LONG! Sure, sure, you think waiting 365 days for Christmas is hard? How about waiting almost two full fucking years for a new episode of the iconic BBC series? 15 January 2012 was the last day we had an original Sherlock; since then, some of us have tried sustaining ourselves on a diet of fan fiction, but my diabeetus flared up again and there are only so many “John looked at Sherlock. Sherlock looked at John. Manly man-on-man longing was in every manly glance…” passages you can read before you dissolve into giggles.

Well, our long wait is OVAH!

The BBC has just released a seven minute mini-episode featuring teaser after teaser (although honestly anyone could have spotted that bitch in the saffron, I mean come on!) And it is damn good.

It better be damn good. This will have to sustain us until New Year’s Day.

As for that package-unwrapping referred to in the caption at the top? Well, here it is.

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The Hilarious House of Frightenstein!

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein is not exactly the Brady Bunch

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein is not exactly the Brady Bunch

The only horrible thing about this show is that it eventually got cancelled.

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein was a kid’s show started back in 1971, and done out of the rust belt town of Hamilton, Ontario. The rubber-faced Billy Van was the star and pretty much the whole cast, and a damn fine cast it was, too. Apparently special guest star Vincent Price shot all his work for the entire series in four days. The show also boasted production values that would have embarrassed Doctor Who; imagine trying to bring to life an acid trip using a wardrobe you peeled off a drunken Hamiltonian Goth, some old macrame planters, a fright wig, and some coloured light gels. And doing it for kids. While dressed as a vampire who is exiled to Canada until he can somehow gather the strength of character to actually frighten someone OR reanimate a corpse-monster, and so earn his way back into Transylvania.

This show, people? This show is my Rosebud.

This is how I learned Grammar, for example.

And you wonder why I’m a little fucked up.

Just mething around: the Breaking Bad theme, performed on equipment from a meth lab

Just what it says on the tin: Andrew Huang has offered up a spirited and downright eerie performance of the theme song from Breaking Bad, all performed on items you might find in a meth lab (no, a scab-ridden, underage flunkie is not one of the items, thank GOD).

The Canadian Huang is something of a phenomenon on YouTube, with 103,000 subscribers and over 200 videos. This particular one has over 400,000 views.

Interviewed in the British-based Crossrhythms site, he spoke of his first efforts, creating a site called Songs to Wear Pants To. “Through Songs To Wear Pants To I wrote close to 600 songs in response to suggestions that strangers sent in online. There were no rules, they could suggest anything from a style of music to a lyrical theme and I would attempt to compose and perform everything exactly as they requested it, usually with a bit of a comedic twist. My approach has always been to keep people guessing – I have a rule that my current release cannot be in the same genre as my previous album. There’s no easy way to provide a history – I’ve produced over 100 pieces a year for almost a decade and just throw it all online as I finish it.”

This one arose from a Song Challenge, and it’s truly a brave man who throws himself on the mercy of randos on YouTube. He’s triumphed nonetheless, with an amazingly tuneful performance done on acoustic guitar (the beaker is used as a slider), cast iron frying pan, skillet, tin stock pot, plastic tubing, coffee filters, pop bottle, measuring cup, propane tank, and brown butcher paper.

No, really.

As an extra (and to pay the bills) at the end he tacks on an offer for a free month of Netflix so you can batch-watch the boys of Breaking Bad in bulk. BONUS!

It’s official: Andrew Huang is a star. He’s recieved the internet’s ultimate benediction: he’s been featured on the Buzzfeed homepage, and in the German Stern magazine. That’s it, Canada can’t hold him anymore!

There’s not much more to say about this other than you will want this on repeat.

The Greatest Sesame Street Recap in All Time and All Space

Big Bird: pictured left to right, same dude

Big Bird: pictured left to right, same dude

You think I’m kidding, don’t you? You’re probably feeling pretty smug about your OWN Sesame Street recaps, perhaps for good reason, but once you read this recap from Scott Lynch on Livejournal you’ll have to give it up to Scotty; this shizz is genius. Hat tip to Bourgeois Nerd for this awesome discovery.

Seriously, do you have anything like this, from a visit to the museum in which Snuffy and Bird run into a 4000 year old Egyptian ghost, a demon, and Osiris.

To which Big Bird interjects: “That’s not fair!” I am absolutely not fucking kidding. This is the part of the program where Big Bird defies a god and argues justice for the tormented soul of his little buddy … You think you know a Muppet… but it’s plain that we’ve had Big Bird figured all wrong. He’s no kindergartener. He’s a previously unknown aspect of the Eternal fucking Champion.

Take that, Elmo!

and fur wat?

and now, for a musical interlude…

what did elise ever do fur this?

what did elise ever do fur this?

Which reminds me of the time I lived in a basement apartment, underneath the living room of a woman who was practicing hard for the extremely, extremely, Southern girls you’re not even in it; you don’t have Tiger Mothers, EXTREMELY competitive Miss Chinatown contest.

Every night, she would play the piano; just one piece, over and over, loudly, with an oompah beat and great gusts of ambition, although apparently no past history of experience with the instrument. She practiced this bouncy Germanic tune nightly for about six weeks before my roommate looked up from her book, turned to me with tragic spaniel eyes, and said, “It’s the Moonlight Sonata.”

And so it was.

As if that weren’t soul-killing enough, here are your celebrity gossip links for the day:

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