Batman vs Superman
Just what it says on the tin: an instructive video on how to handle children, with iconic American superheroes demonstrating two different options.
Guess which one I am?
How to Handle Children: by Superman and Batman
Category Archives: Weird
The Poetry Book of Mormon
Emo Jesus sez it’s okay. He’s still got his poetry.
Anybody who’s read the King James version of the Bible knows there’s poetry in it. But is there poetry in the “Other Books” like the Gnostic Gospels, the Kabbalah, and the famous Book of Mormon? We dunno.
But thanks to WikiLeaks, we have The Church Handbook of Instructions for Mormons, and we can confirm, yea verily, that there is poetry within, at least according to the Haiku Finder. And here is that poetry.
How Romney's Mormons tried to gag WikiLeaks from publishing their secret bible – and lost wikileaks.org/wiki/Mormon_Ch… shop.wikileaks.org—
WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) October 28, 2012
He should be careful
not to embarrass members
who need assistance.
Stake leaders may give
instruction and assistance
during these meetings.
However, they may
pay tithing through their home ward
if necessary.
He also consults
with other stake presidents
as appropriate.
This clerk also should
know how to order garments
and temple clothing.
This clerk also should
know how to order garments
and temple clothing.
Prayers in Church Meetings
Men and women may offer
prayers in Church meetings.
Hey Moroni, don’t quit your day job!
Kismet!
celebrity sperminators?
You know how fond we are of our internet quizzes around these parts (particularly when we’re feeling lazy, which is always). This may be our greatest find in all of Internet Quiz history. Oh, first we were all like, that site is so skanky! It’s fucking Essex Online, with a side of Whalley.tripod.com crossed with JerseyShore.com.
It is nothing more nor less than a celebrity sperm bank.
And…it’s British people. So their definition of “celebrity” includes basically anyone with a tan and competent orthodontistry.
But they have a quiz, so we gave it a whirl. Well, just LOOK at this, wouldja?
Famedaddy Bono
Obviously this quiz is wise beyond the lot of mortals. HOW DID IT KNOW???? Le sigh. Some day.
The Ultimate New Media Smackdown! Gawker vs Hulk Hogan
This is astonishing. Stunning. Staggering. Entirely mind-blowing. This video describing the sex tape drama between gossipy website Gawker and immoral wrestler and tanning product abuser Hulk Hogan will cause you to question the very nature of reality, if not the point of existence itself.
I know what you’re wondering; you have the same question as me. We all want to know the answer.
How does that studly himbo Gawker get his logo to float in front of his shirt like that?
Mutant Elk caught in the wilds of Britain
Yes, “the wilds of Britain.” See what I did there?
The Guardian captions this “An elk.” Time to stop hiring inbred photo interns, no matter how dazzling their connections.
According to the UK paper of record for Ecologically Sensitive Courtesy Titles, the UK is harbouring a fugitive and desperate band of elk rustlers.
PC Jackie Poole, who is leading the hunt, said: “This is an unusual theft and would have required a vehicle, and probably quite a bit of time, to complete. I would ask people in the area at the time to cast their mind back and see if they remember seeing anything suspicious.
Under “Anything suspicious” we must list the above, a moose impersonating an elk in the Guardian. Could the paper have a vested interest in confusing the issue and preventing innocent Somersettians from recognizing an actual elk when they see one?
Hmmm, one wonders…what are they serving in the executive dining room at the Grauniad this week, eh?
Dear United Kingdom, this is what elks look like:
Real Elks, duh
