Yorkies: like Chihuahuas, with a side of provincial arrogance

Hello, may the men in white coats help you? Perhaps with the "Bunny Jacket"?

Hello, welcome to WordPress.com. How may the men in white coats help you? Perhaps with the “Bunny Jacket”?

From time to time, as regular readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog may be aware, we volunteer in the WordPress.com technical support forums. One uses the Royal “We” here, you understand. One understands. Hopefully, given the stats on this blog, at least several of you understand.

And in the depths of the technical support forums, we occasionally encounter a type which requires technical support more than most; it requires, in fact, medical intervention. As long as they remain polite, they get help. Once they lower the bar, however, they become my lawful prey and learn just what real, true, bar-lowering looks like up close and/or personal.

Behold.

  1. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 3:31 PM

    Please noteth that unless by the fourteenth of February of the year twenty fourteen WordPress.com does not remove the personal information of and not exclusive to names, addresses, dates of birth, names of children, names of spouses on the blog known as kevgreen1950 or ‘the man behind the mask’ then you will leave no choice under the courts of human rights than to remove such information.
    Save as for any credible information contained upon said site, every other defamatory or illegal insert should be deleted, namely names, addresses, ages, occupations, spousal details and any other offending inserts or postings relating to minors especially. Failure to do so could in Immediate terms be classed as supplying information as to provocate or at least attract paedophile attention due to the content of minors involved – this would be seen as a ‘pimping’ or offering a minor/s for targeting.
    I am sure you would not wish to be associated with such activities and I am confident of a successful conclusion.
    I can grant you audience at [email redacted]
    Regards
    Kate Jones

    The blog I need help with is mildredpilchard.wordpress.com.

  2. These matters are not discussed on public support forums available to everyone with internet access as this one is.

    See here http://en.support.wordpress.com/private-information/

    Then use this form http://en.wordpress.com/abuse/

    I’d like to add that you first must determine whether or not the site is a free hosted WordPress>COM blog or not. Many people assume WordPress.ORG installs are hosted by WordPress.COM when they aren’t.

    2) Determine whether or not the blog is hosted at WordPress.com.
    If you see a link that reads “Blog at WordPress.com” in the footer of the blog (linked to http://wordpress.com), this normally means that it is hosted here (although external blogs may place this in the footer, if they choose to). Also, if you are logged into WordPress.com, you will see your gray-colored admin bar at the top of your screen.

  3. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 3:56 PM

    I am not here to look into the ins and outs of any wordpress blogs, indeed that is for wordpress to investigate as the onus as any future Defendant will be upon them. I have given the specifics, I can only suggest wordpress looks into this matter as a course of urgency since this is a wordpress.com site in question as per information previously supplied.
    I now think you are trying to deflect responsibility which does not good to say the least!

    I have a screenshot of your response thus far.

  4. No one will investigate a complaint that has yet to be made and therefore does not exist. Hopefully, you are clear on that.
    See also: http://wordpress.com/complaints/

  5. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 3:59 PM

    Oh and Court Orders are not allowed to be emailed, they need to be sent to a bona fide address – allowing one exists of course.

    I suggest to WordPress that they seek to rectify this matter forthwith to reach an amicable conclusion. I am not so naaive as to think that absolutely nobody in the employ of WordPress does not read this forum (whatnots).

    End of communication. Over and out.

  6. Click the link and locate the court order address please. If I post it here the software will redact it. http://wordpress.com/complaints/

    Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to
    court-orders@wordpress.com.

  7. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 4:09 PM

  8. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 7, 2014, 4:12 PM

    Only your report button seems to spew this out relentlessly!

    Is it some ‘spook site of imitation’? I reckon not.

    Anyhow at ten past midnight I am not in the frame of mind to be entering into a to-and-fro.

    My position is clear is it not? No deviation, no quarter.

    I am truly out of here.

  9. “Please noteth?” Sounds legit.

  10. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 6:25 AM

    Oh I do apologise raincoaster for my grammar, I had originally written something else with the word ‘forthwith’ in it, the two words became strung together.

    OK for everyone’s benefit it should read Please note – is that better now?

    Anyway the message remains the same, the information on the blog I have linked to contains the personal information of other people, obviously you find it acceptable for people to do this especially when the details of house addresses are posted up where minors (children to you) reside.
    These people are now having to move home and it is perfectly obvious that wordpress supports the actions of those posting up this information. It needs removing immediately.
    The Police have of course been informed, maybe wordpress could check it out with North Wales Police to see if it is really ‘legit’ as you say.
    What does wordpress intend doing exactly? You have now received a complaint wordpress, so it needs acting upon does it not?

  11. Please use the links that @timethief gave you above and file a report using that process. yes the process is formal, but that is to protect everyone that has a blog here from someone just showing up in the forum with a rant demanding that a blog be taken down.

    The process does work. Endangering someone’s safety is against the Terms of Service. You need to make a very solid case on why a blog should be removed, that case can not be make by making the demands as you have done here and expecting us to do research half way around the world.

    Until you file the formal complaint with solid evidence in the submittable nothing will happen and eventually we will get tired of trying to get you to do the correct actions. Threatening legal action will do nothing either. Quite common for people to threaten legal action because they failed to read the Terms of Service. Also at some point this thread will be closed by the staff.

    If you have a valid complaint, the Terms of Service group will deal with it, continuing to post here will get you nothing. Sorry but that is just the facts of life and the law.

  12. If you refuse to follow instructions and pull legalese out your ass you will not be successful at achieving the objective. TT gave you the link which leads to success. Use it, don’t bullshit and try to pretend to be a lawyer, and staff will look into the case. Otherwise they will not.

  13. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 2:51 PM

    OK everyone – whoever you are????

    anyway absolutely nobody has confirmed that the link I gave you belongs to this site.

    Do they or not????

    This is the first point of action since some entity called timethief interacted and formed contract with me.

    Tell ya wot (is that USA enuf 4yaz?) Why don’t you contact the blog instigator and ask them to take the details off the net?

    Don’t try to threaten me because you are a faceless nothing entity – tell ya wot ya’ll I’ll go to alternative social media in the UK to warn not to subscribe to your site – howz that grabya?

    We can carry this on in the USA if you prefer since me brother and a credible relative of the children living in the UK is concerned?

    All you people want to do is be obstructive – I wonder why that might be???

    Answer the credible questions of why it is acceptable to publish the details of people under witness protection, or give me an address to complain to. San Fran Cisco PD??

    Ban me if ya like ta, it will be outed in the UK to avoid you if you like…

    Roll your dice – take your choice – formality ‘don’t’ work obviously because ‘wordpress’ is full of seemingly antagonistic factions.

    The question to ask is why ‘wordpress’ don’t answer under their own steam, why do they need to hide behind ‘people’ probably dragged in from the net??

    oh and as for some people jumping onto ma grammar – I am wot’s known as a dyslexic – yes that’s right – just like ‘The Fonze’ strangeness eh?? So you like to discriminate against people with a mental stigmatism – go figure..

    I am not enjoying having to translate my postings into American – I am convinced you understand English of which ‘noteth’ is actually a word

    believe it or not!

  14. @mildredpilchard
    I’m not sure what part of this you fail to comprehend and this is the last time I will post here because
    (1) I provided the correct information above, and
    (2) this thread has turned into a gong show.

    To determine whether or not the blog is hosted at WordPress.com you can look for a link that reads “Blog at WordPress.com” in the footer of the blog (linked to http://wordpress.com), this normally means that it is hosted here (although external blogs may place this in the footer, if they choose to). Also, if you are logged into WordPress.com, you will see your gray-colored admin bar at the top of your screen.

    If and when you complete the form I provided the link to above http://wordpress.com/complaints/ your issue will move forward. If you fail to do that the complaint does not exist.

    Click the link and locate the court order address please. Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to
    court-orders@wordpress.com.

  15. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:00 PM

    Oh and was that IT?? why not say as such??

    Much to hide eh? eyh for you Yanks.

    In fact why not be up front and state that you are in the US?

    There is more than one way to skin a cat isn’t there? – so the saying goes in the UK.

  16. Okay!!! You sound hysterical!!! And unable to follow instructions!!!

    I, personally, as an investigative reporter who is also a WordPress.com consultant, will be happy to undertake the investigation you request, but my fee is $2500 payable in advance.

    Otherwise, use the fucking link you were provided to contact staff instead of giving us laughing material here in the forums, where all of your interactions are public, connected to your username and the allegations and blog you are complaining about, and archived by Google.

  17. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:03 PM

    err look at the link I sent you ta- is it wordpress or not? you seem to be unable to answer my question – why??

    gong? what does that mean please? Is that an Amerivcan term because English people don’t have a clue what you mean!

    Speak English please – not rocket science is it?

  18. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:04 PM

    err look at the link I sent you ta- is it wordpress or not? you seem to be unable to answer my question – why??

    gong? what does that mean please? Is that an Amerivcan term because English people don’t have a clue what you mean!

    Speak English please – not rocket science is it?

  19. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:05 PM

    Nope just answer, is the link I sent ya one of yours or not

    Is that a MENSA question to you?

  20. Sure. Like I sayeth unto thee, crosseth mine palm with argent and yea verily I shall render unto you the answereths to thine questionones.

  21. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:09 PM

    Oh and by the way I do not give a Thrupenny bit about who or what you claim to be.

    Do you exist in the UK – no you are unremarkable! If you can ‘blag’ that amount from your ‘clients’ then jolly good for you, otherwise I expect you are nothing

  22. Have you filed the complaint form yet?

  23. I expect if you don’t know who I am you don’t have Google where you come from.

  24. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:15 PM

    Well until thou cometh from The Riding Knowneth as Yorkshire – please do not try to insult me by your faux what? English are you trying to spout at me?

    Anyway, you confirm my prior thoughts, this wordpress stuff is an internet sham whereby no-one will answer a credible question like does the link I previously sent belong or come under wordpress – why the heck will nobody answer this?

    If you need me to resend the link then you only have to request and I shall oblige – it is not a difficult question so why all the deflection one wonders?

  25. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:20 PM

    Oh here we go ‘Don’t you know wqho I am?’ = fascetiosness and particularly ugly in the UK

    Do you know with whom you address? blah-blah words already!

    I do not care one jot who you are only what will you do about

    http://api.viglink.com/api/click?format=go&jsonp=vglnk_jsonp_13918180248457&key=bbb516d91daee20498798694a42dd559&loc=http%3A%2F%2Foutlawoutpost.freeforums.net%2Fthread%2F47%2Falternative-building-materials%3Fpage%3D2&v=1&libId=41e1dc3f-21f6-4761-bfab-fc220da14a40&out=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com%2F&title=Alternative%20building%20materials%20%7C&txt=www.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com

    It seems to me that you would very much argue the toss than be integral and act upon what I present to you.

    Why don’t you answer my question – ego or no ego?

  26. If you still haven’t filed the form it will appear that you aren’t distressed about the actual issue you created this thread for. You will leave us convinced that you were merely seeking a soapbox to broadcast from.

  27. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:23 PM

    Declined to answer then because you can’t! Say no more because silence speaks volumes

  28. mildredpilchard
    Member
    Feb 8, 2014, 3:25 PM

    Err nope timethief, you have neither confirmed nor denied that the link I sent you belongs to wordpress ie YOU

    I CANNOT SPELL IT OUT ANY PLAINER SORRY

    Does it or not?

  29. I don’t give a toss what you think and no one else will either until you follow the instructions and complete the form. Until your act on that there is no complaint.

    I know for a fact they teach reading comprehension skills in the UK at the public school level. As I see no indication of higher learning in your responses and as the complaint form is a simple document that any school kid could master, I’m sure you can manage to complete it any time you want to.

    1. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:29 PM

      Is this a wordpress blog or not??? what is difficult about that question to answer and I will re-phrase it to make it as simple as possible

      HERE YOU ARE -

      http://api.viglink.com/api/click?format=go&jsonp=vglnk_jsonp_13918180248457&key=bbb516d91daee20498798694a42dd559&loc=http%3A%2F%2Foutlawoutpost.freeforums.net%2Fthread%2F47%2Falternative-building-materials%3Fpage%3D2&v=1&libId=41e1dc3f-21f6-4761-bfab-fc220da14a40&out=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com%2F&title=Alternative%20building%20materials%20%7C&txt=www.kevingreen1950.wordpress.com

      DOES IT SAY wordpress at the end or not? Am I blind now too because I can get my dog to read it to me if it doesn’t

    2. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:31 PM

      Flipping useless waste of time if you ask me – a tip for ya, don’t bite the hand that feeds ya cos some of you are suffering the recession more than others

      Oh, don’t you know who I am?

    3. If and when you complete the form I provided the link to above more than once now http://wordpress.com/complaints/ your issue will move forward. If you fail to do that the complaint does not exist.

      Click the link and locate the court order address please. Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to
      court-orders@wordpress.com.

    4. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:37 PM

      Oh did I not already say the form spewed this out = there is a fault with your reporting system. Bah

      Still not a single reply to my ONE question – not too taxing for you I hope?

      OK here goes in baby language – does a blog ending in wordpress belong to you?

      Yes or no will be the answer

      Give mummy a yes or a nod, or give mummy a no a shake of the head, there’s a good baby, mummy loves you – here’s a biscuit for being a good baby

    5. Thanks so much for convincing me that you do not have a serious issue that merits the completion of a complaint form. This thread is tagged for closure.

    6. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:42 PM

      OK I have yet again=yawn tried to submit this it goes from submit to immediately validating and it quite obviously is not getting through to wordpress – a fault?

      Not my fault because I have tried submitting lots and lots – next excuse?

    7. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:43 PM

      YOU STILL DID NOT ANSWER MY QUESTION – BUT YOU WON’T WILL YOU????

    8. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:46 PM

      Oh carry on and close this down , I notice the other participant soon elected to leave lol.

      Much to hide? = yes

      Protectors = yes

      Draw attention to your wordpress = yes

      Over to you

      Auf Viederhoeren

    9. Oh, Yorkshire. That explains it.

    10. I can access and complete the form at http://wordpress.com/complaints/ using Chrome 32, IE 11 and Firefox 26. My husband and 2 employees here can also access it. However, we have no court order so we won’t be emailing. Here’s what I’ll do for you. I’ll copy and paste the form here for you.

      We host millions of blogs on WordPress.com. We have no control over what content our users decide to post on their blogs, but we do have a set of rules about what content is and isn’t acceptable on our service. If you have an issue with a blog on our system, please select one of the following to route your complaint:
      Spam blogs: Please this form to report spam blogs. We will immediately suspend any spam blogs.
      Mature blogs: Please use this form to report blogs with mature topics (erotica, porn, etc). Mature blogs are welcome on WordPress.com, but we will mark them in our system so they don’t show up in public listings.
      Copyright violations: If one of our blogs features your copyright protected material (and you did not authorize your content to be published by the blog in question), please use our DMCA reporting process.
      Defamation, abuse, threats: We suspend content for inciting violence or threatening or impersonating a private person. Please see our abuse process for more information.
      Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to court-orders@wordpress.com.
      Law enforcement: If you are a member of a law enforcement agency, please contact us at law-enforcement@wordpress.com.

    11. FILL OUT THE FORM BY THE WILL OF ASGARD

    12. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 3:58 PM

      yeah raincoaster you carry on talking like you know what you are on abbart eh?

      Well timethief my windows 8 don’t want to entertain you, I found that part just fine thanks, maybe Bill Gates needs a tug eh?

      PS you only had to say to use Google Chrome

    13. We just booted up my old Windows XP PC. My employee used IE8 and had zero trouble reading what I posted here in this thread and accessing the form either when compatibility mode was enabled or disabled.

    14. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 4:04 PM

      I have no idea of what you are talking about – ASGARD wtf??

      Anyway you can still answer my question, Google or no Goggle!

      We don’t all reside in America, thankfully.

    15. They are currently booting Windows 8 and I’m expecting there won’t be any issue with it either. Moreover, all you need is this Court orders: Official, signed court orders can be emailed to court-orders@wordpress.com.
      So you’re dismissed.

    16. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 4:07 PM

      Well perhaps it’s my Norton but one thing’s for sure it flicks over to validating at the speed of lightening, tomorrow I will record it with my phone so you can see. Will that appease you??

      Oh and you didn’t answer my question yet, why would that be??

    17. mildredpilchard
      Member
      Feb 8, 2014, 4:09 PM

      Yes I could post it onto You Tube so the world and its uncle can see – just so they don’t make the same mistake of course

      Night Then, you have not answered my question nor taken any action. You are quite simply……

    18. An ellipsis abuser? A Yorkshirian? Don’t keep us in suspense!

    19. You have been provided with everything you need to make your complaint, which appears to be a very low priority to you given what you have posted here. However, if you want to keep bumping this thread then we can do that. I wouldn’t to leave you all alone and suffering here because you lack what it takes to email the correct Staff department because that wouldn’t be nice.

    20. Virt, I like your style.

    21. Seconded.

Some days, in the tech support forum, you’re just like…

OH FUCK NOT ANOTHER WOULD BE LAWYER

OH FUCK NOT ANOTHER WOULD BE LAWYER

About these ads

Party On, Rude!

And fuck your manscaper too!

And fuck your manscaper too!

spend more time on your eyebrows bro

fuck you too

Those are the immortal words of the unnamed shutterbug behind my new favorite Tumblr, “FuckYouPartyPhotographer.”

In an effort to appear badass, and perhaps attempting to top their appearance on DouchebagsLoveGreyGoose, douches and douchettes all over the Vangroover club scene are begging someone to take their picture, only to flip them off when they do.

Yes, I said “Vangroover.” Never was a more perfect coinage minted, for that is where these people live: a strange, ill-lit land where everyone is desperate to give the impression they’re not actually from Surrey.

White Rock means never having to say you're Surrey, Simba

White Rock means never having to say you’re Surrey, Simba

Now, one man is striking back. One man, alone, armed with nothing more than an apparently eye-catching and high-quality photo rig, and a permanent place on the VIP list. And it is glorious.

Fuck you, Combover Boy

Fuck you, Combover Boy

FUCK YOU TOO

who are you, Prince William, duke of assholes ;)

If you go out clubbing in this city and fly the colours for the party photographer, and the colours read “Fuck You,” you can be pretty sure that, sooner or later, you will end up on this Tumblr, and NO, he will not take it down.

What are you gonna do, swear at him?

PS I’m pretty sure that on a lot of those tongues flapped out, Miley-style, that bump isn’t a tongue stud, it’s HPV.

A Christmas Clean-Up

raincoaster reporting for Christmas Cleanup duty

raincoaster reporting for Christmas Cleanup duty

Note: Bloggers may be larger than they appear in amusing holiday-themed kitchenwear.

There’s a certain element of bloodthirstiness to many of the holiday celebrations, isn’t there?

Yes, there is. Shut up.

Think about it; who’d be celebrating Christmas now if Jesus hadn’t died young? If he’d quietly expired at the age of 70 or so, surrounded by children, grand-children, and great-grand-children? Nobody, that’s who. You can’t be a martyr without the sticky ending; just ask James Dean. And where there’s bloodshed, sooner or later, there is gonna be an underpaid member of a visible minority with a mop and a pail cleaning up that shit.

This post is about that. Where there’s Christmas Bloodshed, eventually there will be Christmas Cleaning Crews. As I am spending this pre-Christmas day cleaning up the place I’ve been house and pet sitting for the imminent return of The Owners, who clearly have higher house standards than I’m used to (a warming drawer for plates? Does even Goopy Paltrow have one of those?) I thought I would procrastinate by blogging about the process.

I guess digging under sinks to find cleaning products and figuring out what they are each supposed to do has an element of present-opening about it. Or at least it’s akin to digging through the bowl of assorted candies to find the green jellybeans and the licorice allsorts. Only if you get it wrong, you don’t just spit it into your napkin; you get to replace the hardwood floor. So, SUSPENSE! BLOODSHED! Back to the topic…

Remember that old seasonal classic The Night Santa Went Crazy, by Weird Al? Sure you do. In case you forget, here’s a claymation video to remind you.

Sure, sure, who doesn’t love a picturesque serial killer with a mysterious backstory, eh? But did you ever think about the poor clean-up elves who had to go in afterwards and sanitize the crime scene so it could be properly staged by the bored housewife the real estate agent hired to make it look saleable? Didja? Well, you’re about to.

There’s a game.

Seriously. It used to be simple: if you could imagine it, there was porn of it. Now we must be all wanked out, because if you can think of it nowadays, there’s a game of it.

Behold Viscera Cleanup Detail: Santa’s Rampage edition.

Tragedy! Santa; the toy giving folk-hero, and purveyor of fine Christmas goods, has had enough. Endless requests from greedy children wanting more and more every year, tax increases, pressure from elf unions, bills, reindeer!
It is your duty, as an employee of Polar Sanitation Inc, to clean up the grizzly aftermath of Santa’s bloody rampage. Elves, reindeer and ruined masonry from Santa’s brief breakdown are all strewn across his famous workshop.
So don your cap, grab your mop, and get this place sorted out so the company can get a replacement in here ASAP, and restore Christmas for another generation!

Can’t imagine what that would look like? Thanks to YouTuber PewDiePie you don’t have to. He’s got a game run-through that would make Freddy Krueger proud.

Laura WAS decorating the Christmas tree...in a sense

Laura WAS decorating the Christmas tree…in a sense

Fuck the Yule Log Video: Lil Bub Wins Christmas!

Lil Bub rules yule

Lil Bub rules yule

It’s a fact! Take that musty old VHS tape of the Christmas yule log and toss it on the fire, because there’s a new time-waster in town. The internet’s cutest cat, Lil BUB, has come out with a full hour of her napping and purring by the fireside.

Seriously. That’s all it is. One cat drooling and making noises and intermittently sleeping, with a fire in the background. Enjoy!

What could be better than an hour of a magical squonking, snorting and purring BUB at a cozy fire?

Loop it on your screen, and let BUB warm your home with SCIENCE and MAGIC this holiday season.

GOOD JOB BUB and HAPPY HOLIDAYS