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Category Archives: Archive

my grampaw, the warlock

March 29, 2007 – 2:18 am

Oh, it’s not all Alan Rickman’s laser gaze and cute teens prancing around the Great Hall in robes, nosiree.
from the Archive:
My Grampaw, the warlock
Friday, September 30, 2005
Well it makes a hell of a lot of sense, if you think about it.
Even if he wasn’t my grandfather.
Depends on your definition, see. Are you an “on paper” [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Family, Religion, Science, Singles, Supernatural, Weird, beauty, horror, kids, philosophy, warlocks | Comments (9)

more marketing tips for hookers

March 27, 2007 – 10:29 am

Part Two of Three: Part One and Part Three. From the Archive.
  Friday, September 20, 2002
4) Keep Your Neighbors Happy
It is a people business, as I said, and your neighbors are people, too. If you alienate them, they shut you down; if you make friends you get free espressos from Starbucks!
Years ago, when I was [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Crime, Etiquette, Humour, Lush Life, Politics, Sex, Singles, Vancouver, Work, advice, beauty, capitalism, fashion, gender, humor, marketing | Comments (3)

the legend of Stamp’s Landing, with bonus legend decoder

February 16, 2007 – 6:49 am

 
from the archives 
The Legend of Stamp’s Landing, with bonus legend decoder
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Got this from the back of a menu at the pub. Hey, you think this kinda thing makes it into Toynbee???

The Legend of Stamp’s Landing

Stamp’s Landing was named by Captain Edward Stamp in honor[sic] of his great-grandfather who, in 1794, under the [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Etiquette, Historical, Hoaxes, Humour, Lush Life, Singles, Vancouver, War, Weird, humor, pirates | Comments (14)

(phone) service with a smile

January 28, 2007 – 1:56 pm

From the Archive
Monday, October 10, 2005
I was a little worried. Really, it takes a fair lot to worry me, particularly about strangers, most of whom I consider protein reservoirs God gives us so we don’t starve when the cows all die. But I was a little worried, it must be said. Typed. Whatever.
A little. It [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Humour, Vancouver, Weird, humor, technology | Comments (4)

a lucrative sideline…

January 27, 2007 – 5:26 am

from the Archive
Lucrative. Outdoorsy. Bizarre. Potentially fatal. I tell you, this has me written all over it. I wonder if Crimestoppers pays by the bale or by the grow-op when you turn them in…

I’m just sayin’…one might run into such things from time to time on one’s travels. And one must think of the future. [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Crime, Humour, Lush Life, Politics, Random Thoughts, Vancouver, Weird, Work | Comments (5)

worst resume stuffer ever

December 9, 2006 – 11:19 am

from the Archive:
 Friday, June 24, 2005
                  I mean, frankly, you have got to be fucking kidding me.
                  Okay, so I’m turning over all kinds of rocks looking for a job here. Going to interviews only to find out the company is hiring people to write high-school papers for foreign students. Scripting internet porn (who knew it was scripted????). [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Allegory, Humour, Literary, Porn, Sex, Weird, Work, sad | Comments (4)

mini matters

December 8, 2006 – 2:20 am

My friend Sandy is great. The most outgoing person you’ll ever meet who isn’t annoying, she’s the kind of person who was born with invisible pom-poms in one hand and an invisible Martini in the other: half Noel Coward and half Barbie.I was in her store a few months back, and she was telling me [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Allegory, Blogging, Canada, Crime, Humour, Vancouver, sad | Comments (9)

Vancouver see wall

November 27, 2006 – 4:53 am

from the archive, but it could have been written tonight for that matter.
As I slump here in front of my blue, glowing screen, coughing like Tuberculosis Mary, occasionally wiping mysterious dots of liquid off the monitor (even though they sure are purty with the little rainbows around the edges) and with, apparently, no lining left [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Crime, Humour, Literary, Politics, Sex, Sports, Travel, Vancouver | Comments (7)

the return of the whistler in darkness

November 26, 2006 – 6:58 am

from the Archive, and you should read THIS first. I mean, you can go ahead and read this one first instead, but that’s probably only your best option if you enjoy being confused and experiencing the futility of busted and ersatz suspense. In which case you should be reading Ionesco and leaving me the hell [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Crime, Entertainment, Etiquette, Humour, Lush Life, Vancouver, Weird, sad | Comments (0)

the whistler in darkness

November 26, 2006 – 5:29 am

from the Archive
The first few nights I thought he was trying to flag a cab. Then I thought he was trying to flag a hooker. Then I thought he was keeping six, and this was a more subtle form of yelling “Cheez it!” when the cops turned up. Still don’t know, but it’s damn annoying.
There’s [...]

By raincoaster | Also posted in Canada, Crime, Etiquette, Lush Life, Vancouver, Weird, sad | Comments (5)