review o’ the day: Geoffrey Chaucer on video games

Gower, take thatte!G-Chaus is back, with a roundup of the hottest video games on the market.

From TYGER WOODSES HUNTINGE AND HAWKINGE to GRANDE THEFTE, COLLUSIOUN, AND MAYNTENANCE, he gives his loyale readeres the hot poop on slick tech products that we’ve come to expect of the fourteenth century’s most prolific blogger.

Bonus points for using the Latinate “Margaritae“.

O my gentil rederes, it hath been a thinge of muche difficultee and laboure for to type euen the smallest entrie in myn blogge. For somer, lyk vnto a songe of Barry Manilow, hath ydrawn alle the spirit and vigor from my limbes and hert. For the gretre part of the hot moneth of July ich laye in my garden on my comfortable lawn-chaire and langwisshed lyk vnto sum yonge lover who hath ydumpede been. Ich daubede myn foreheed wyth a moyste towel and did drinke mvch of somer drinkes swich as margaritae and daquiri…

And so, my noble rederes, vntil the hete of somer fullie abateth, ich shal be up wyth litel Lowys, in hys attic room, playinge of video games and drinkinge depe draughtes of mountayne dewe. C U L8re, gentilz!

Ich Pwne Noobs

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