quiz: which wife of Henry VIII are you?

Yes, I’m being very lazy, aren’t I? Hardly writing any of my own material and pretty much politics-free. Guess I’ve been scratching the political itch over at the new Bojo Forum, but wait; I’m sure there will be something coming soon. I mean, I should probably say something about the new leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, but that would presume I knew something about Stephane Dion, the new leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, which of course I do not. All that I know about him is he is not Michael Ignatieff, for which the nation is, I’m sure, very grateful.

Now to the quiz…with bonus before-and-after Katherine Howard pix! Ah, if they’d had Botox and Restylane back then, she’d have kept her pretty head! In fact, it probably still wouldn’t have decomposed!

Before:

Katherine Howard, before

and After:

After

Which wife of Henry the Eighth are you?

Your Result: Anne Boleyn

42%

You are Anne Boleyn, second, and most famous, wife of Henry. You are fiery, smart, confident, and witty. Though not notorious for your beauty, you have a prescience that sticks out in people’s minds. You will stop at nothing to get what you want. Keep in mind, though, when you get it, you have to know how to keep it.

Katherine of Aragon

32%

Catherine Parr

22%

Kathrine Howard

20%

Jane Seymour

6%

Anne of Cleves

0%

Which wife of Henry the Eighth are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

keeping family traditions alive, Jessica Simpson fucks up onstage

I disagree strongly with the websites calling this a “freakout.”

A freakout is ripping your extensions out and beating up your guitarist with drumsticks while tearfully screaming at the audience “You just don’t get it! You just don’t love me enough!”

Having to hold up your strapless dress, forgetting the words to a song, and running offstage in tears is simply having a Blonde Moment. Hell, Dolly Parton split her dress right up the middle and merely borrowed a coat to go onstage to collect her Grammy; that, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between a pro and a flash in the pan. Actually, come to think of it, Jessica’s the only one who hasn’t flashed lately. Give it five minutes, though.

quiz: how English are you?

Not very, it seems. Don’t tell Guido; if word gets out, he’ll never hire me! And for the love of God don’t tell Steven L: he’ll probably stick me in Gitmo “just in case.”

You are 66% English.

Getting there. You may wish to pay attention to the world around you.

“And did those feet
In ancient times,
Walk upon England’s mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
In England’s pleasant pastures seen?”

Well, no, but it’s a cracking good tune.

How English are you?
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Britney, Paris, and Lindsay revealed!

You can even see Paris‘ herpes sores! Is that the French Foreign Lesion?

From the inimitable Gallery of the Absurd. Britney, Paris and Lindsay as Botticcelli‘s The Three Disgraces.

The Three Disgraces

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