six-word stories

Hemingway by StraterThere are an infinite to the power of ten number of games, tricks, memes, generators, and other gizmos to give writers the well-deserved smack on the bottom or the top that they need to be really creative, including Flash Fiction. One of the best Flash Fiction sites is David B. Dale‘s, and fortunately the standard there is high enough to give some feeble hope to us skeptics. Not enough, though, to override my belief that in very few cases do these artificially confining pretences lead to actually great writing. I can think of Ramsay Campbell‘s short story, “Heading Home,” which literally could not have been done in any art form other than writing. It is the least-filmable piece ever committed to mass market paperback. There is also the great Dorothy Parker‘s perfect poem “Two-Volume Novel,”

The sun’s gone dim, and
The moon’s turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn’t love back.

But this, six-word flash fiction, and perhaps the most restrictive of those challenges, takes inspiration from this great work of Ernest Hemingway‘s

For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.

How much daring must a human being have to go up against competition like this, or even to exist in the same sphere? Hemingway himself said it was his best work, and he was no slouch in the work or opinion departments, for all his boozing.

This is the roundup that Wired magazine collected from some of the top SciFi writers today(stolen from Wil Wheaton), and I must say that, however neat the idea, this is one sad sack of sentences. While some of them would make a good first line for a conventional novel

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
Kevin Smith

most of them are rather laurel-resty

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
Stephen R. Donaldson

Hearteningly, a scant handful actually live up to the challenge and do justice to the reputations of the writers. It lights a fire in my soul and the souls of all good readers and writers when we see good or great writers writing this well:

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
Rockne S. O’Bannon

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
Margaret Atwood

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
Alan Moore

And here, to leave you with our ambiguously depressing thought for the day, is Hemingway’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech, as read at the banquet by the American ambassador to Sweden. At two minutes and ten seconds, it is in its own right Flash Speechifying, but nonetheless eternal for that. If the player doesn’t work for you the text over the jump, and here is a Realplayer version of Hemingway himself reading it; if any of you can convert that horrific medium to an MP3 I would be much obliged.


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God hates a fag, but Andrew Sullivan loves Donnie Davies

The very reverend Mr. Donnie Davies has posted a new video at YouTube in response to all the controversy over his church, Love God’s Way, their CHOPS program for de-gaying people, his band, Evening Service, and their original song The Bible Says whose video was censored by the Tube. (backstory here and once fallen, now arisen video here)

Let’s go to the Tubes for a look at some quotes, shall we?

“…thank you so much, Andrew Sullivan, for getting behind me…
…I’ve lost 120 lbs. I was born with a thyriod disorder, my whole family has it, it’s a genetic disorder, and sometimes I try so hard to control those urges, but I just can’t. I was born this way. But people still want to lampoon me about it and I think that is a terrible, ugly way to live…”

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Cthulhu ’08!

Look, he’s got a new campaign manager! This should be teh awesomeness!

Cthulhu Fhtagn! Ia!

I always wondered what Dean was yelling. Stolen from It’s a Definite Maybe.

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quiz: which classic dame are you?

Check this out, unbelievers! I stole this delightful little test from View from the Event Horizon.

 Gentlemen, what are you all doing on the floor?

Barbara Stanwyck
You scored 33% grit, 23% wit, 42% flair, and 9% class!

You’re a tough dame, a bit of a spitfire, and you can even be a little dangerous, but you do it with such flair that almost all is forgiven (and even when it’s not, you’re still the most interesting woman in the room). You can be witty and charming, all right, but you have a tough streak that keeps you focused and sometimes deadly. You’ve had quite a climb to get where you are, but you’re a hard worker and you mostly deserve all you get…and then some. You might end up destroying everything around you, but you must admit…you’ve got style.
Your leading men include Henry Fonda, Fred MacMurray, and when you forget yourself, Gary Cooper.
Find out what kind of classic leading man you’d make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.
Why, yes. You CAN buy them for me.My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on grit
 
 You scored higher than 99% on wit
 
 You scored higher than 99% on flair
 
 You scored higher than 99% on class 

Yeah, suck on that, haterz! I’m classy!

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