Monthly Archives: February 2007

when opticians attack

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And it was a Torontonian, too! Who knew they had it in them? But you gotta love the 75-year-old reporter who’s ready to teach this flim-flamming young whippersnapper a thing or two about using his fists; if the wussy four-eyes hadn’t attacked him with a door instead of fighting fair, there’s no telling how this would have ended. Video goodness via Consumerist after the jump (that’s how you’re supposed to do it apparently; I like it right on the page, but then I have cable inet).

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A Valentine to my readers

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Nothing says I loves y’all like a bouquet and a classic ballad, so here. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.

Joachim Laporte nature muertes

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Valentine’s Day Sweetheart: The Jealous Astronaut

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The Jealous Astronaut!If, like me, you grew up babysat not by living, breathing human beings but rather by the marvelously crude animated friends on the incredible flickering electric rectangle, you’ll love this.

The Jealous Astronaut...begin Transformation!We lost The Osmonds. We lost The Jackson Five. We lost The Partridge Family 2200AD . We lost Scooby Doo. We lost Josie and the Pussycats. We lost Kimba the White Lion and Speed Racer and G-Force and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

But now Metro passes along this gem for our animation-starved generation. Now we’ve got something to fill the hole in our aching souls: We have The Jealous Astronaut!

tranformation complete!What better muse for a post-millennial Valentine’s than an aging, obssessive, hygiene-impaired, would-be-adulterous rocket scientist? I sense another Douglas Coupland book coming on…

YouTube is over the jump if you don’t want to wait for that Flash to load up.
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quiz: how scary/sociopathic are you?

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For a randomly-selected Blogthings quiz propably written by an agoraphobic emo teen as his only hope of fame and immortality, it’s actually pretty accurate.


You Are Scary


You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

and in related news:


You Are 52% Sociopath


You’re not a sociopath, but you’re very prone to antisocial behavior.Other people’s opinions matter little to you. You live your own fringe life – for better or worse.

Are You A Sociopath?

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The Valentines Day gift that keeps on giving: belly dancing lessons for men

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Male bellydancer...well what does it look like? Click to enlargeWords.

Fail.

Me.

From the brilliantly twisted mind and elegantly restrained pen of that Bob Newhart of British politics, Jon Henley in The Guardian:

In possibly life-changing Valentine’s Day news, we are pleased to report that the many and varied attractions of Birmingham have just been enhanced by the addition of all-male belly-dancing classes. According to the Birmingham Mail, belly-dancing for blokes helps “trim porky stomachs, achieve ramrod straight backs and turn themselves into sex gods”, and while there are drawbacks – you have to wear a “tight top” so the teacher “can see your belly rolls” – we can, at this late juncture, think of few better ways to show her you really love her.