Dorcs! the hottest trend in footwear (for suckas)

Stolen from The Manolo, who got it from Hilary, who got it from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, here is a lovely CBC-production-values-worthy commercial for that superstar of the footwear fashion world, Dorcs!

And here’s what I have to say about that:

I know many a geek. I know many a nerd. I know many a wonk. I know many a D&D player. I even know a woman who makes her living making suits of ring mail.

But, thankfully, I do not know anyone who would wear these things publically. Do I??????

It’s astonishing the lengths to which people will go to justify their purchase and public wearing of these hideous plastic gnome-sandals.

“They’re fun!” leads one to speculate unkindly about how existentially bleak their lives must have become.

“They’re comfortable,” really means nothing but “I’ve given up trying and my spouse and I haven’t had sex in three years, but I’ve come to accept it.”

“They’re in now,” really just means “Everyone in my Dungeons and Dragons group is wearing them.”

“I wear them all the time,” followed by a raised eyebrow, hopefully begging puppy face means “The scene I will throw having a self-esteem meltdown is far, far more painful than simply swallowing your opinion and enabling me, so what’s it gonna be?”

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10 thoughts on “Dorcs! the hottest trend in footwear (for suckas)

  1. The Marchioness of W under B de la Zouche

    Ich weiss nicht was soll es bedeuten das ich so traurig bin
    [I do not kNow why I am so depressed not its Kosmological or Teleological significanz]]

    blah blah blah
    [I canna remember the next lines]

    und ruhig fliess der Rhein
    [and with menacing quietness flows the Rhine]

    as ships slide down towards the rocks impelled to their Aquaeous Doom by a Beauteous Germanic Poppsie [? any relation of die RegenCoaser]

    Poor Iain Dale needs as many sympathetic comments as he can get

    West Ham, his Foottball (err … Soccer) Team are now at the bottom of the Englisch Premier League, apparently irreversibly marchng towards relgations and semi-oblivion into a lower division

    This was after a thrilling match where West Ham led Spurs by 2 to 1, then 3 to 2 and then contrived in the finals minutes of the Game to lose by 3 goals to 4

    A thrilling match …. especially for Spurs supporters

    Yr Grace’s obedient servant etc

    G E

  2. G Eagle, are you suggesting a change of footwear couldn’t hurt? Indeed, it cannot be gainsaid that at this point they might as well switch to wearing Dorcs: they’d have a better chance of hitting the damn ball.

    Christian: formal Dorcs?

    FFE: Hiking boots are respectable footwear. These, however, are the Liberace of gardening clogs, and that cannot be a good thing.

  3. Good Lord, this is EXACTLY how I feel when I see a good looking guy with a homely girl – which is often the case in Washington – while it’s the opposite in most other cities, states, countries, planets…galaxies…

    “They’re ugly!”

    “But that’s how you know it’s comfortable!”


  4. Eh, when it comes to personalities, you never know which of their personality caluses the ugly one is cushioning, so I don’t go there.

    Also… just wait.

    But there, I’m cruel.

  5. I wear Crocs and I love them. I frolic in the river knowing my feet won’t get mangled.

    My name is Paul, I am a dorc, and I’m OK with that.

  6. I’m thinking that for sheer dorcness, you don’t need dorcs: the word “frolic” is enough. Anyone who would self-identify as a frolic-er is a dorc.

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