Harold Bloom, literary lion, loses his shit on Potter fans…again

Harold Bloom

Some of those New York intellectual types can be rather tightly wound. Here, the OriginalUnoriginal reports as eminence grise Harold Bloom, the king of litcrit heavyweights, Sterling Professor for the Humanities at Yale University, and Berg Professor of English and American Literature at New York University, goes apeshit on some hapless Pottermaniacs.

“It’s crap! It’s fucking crap! It’s double fucking crap!” He ranted at the assembly of overtly nerdy adults and blank-faced children – many wearing faux dark-rimmed glasses and wizard hats – who seemed more perplexed by Bloom’s sub-references than intimidated by his harangue.

“What’s a Northrop Frye?” one school-aged boy with an “I Heart Hogwarts” t-shirt asked his mother.

“I don’t know,” she responded. “Maybe some kind of breakfast special?”

He was taken away in an ambulance, attended closely by officers of the NYPD, but was expected to make a full recovery after a course of treatment at St. Mungo’s Hospital.

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105 thoughts on “Harold Bloom, literary lion, loses his shit on Potter fans…again

  1. This is very worrying

    Is this the fate that awaits those who do not cease eating cheese in time ..

    …. Is this Tromed Lov ……

    Fragen …. und noch mehr Fragen

  2. Oh for F—‘s sake, it’s a childrens book that people like, get over it fat git.
    Why are most ‘intellectuals’ fat gits?
    Define ‘intellectual’ please – pompous gits who do nothing but actually get paid for complaining ALL THE TIME.
    We could do that, I’d need a few donuts though.

    Fifth Elelment – hilarious!

  3. Not only that, but if you read his original attack you’ll see that he considers the New York Times to be lower than Fox News, and he does not know the difference between Tolkien and CS Lewis.

  4. Don’t know the difference between his Tolkien and his CS Lewis … that’s ridiculous. Tolkien had dirty hobbits while Lewis had a lying bitch in a wardrobe.

  5. I agree with Bloom, the Potter books are for readers who don’t bother to read. I don’t mind that, because most people will never listen and learn.
    I do not see his “shit” as shit ( the use of that word or other “funny” words tells more about the one who makes the remark than about Blooms comments) or as an attack. I read in his comments the thoughts of a very learned man who is truly worried. He has every reason to be worried. One only has to read the comments on this page.

    The much heard argument that Potter readers at least read, where does that go? Reading in stead of doing what? And Bloom is right, they will not learn to really read by reading Potter.

    Without intellectuals there is no culture. People that state not to like intellectuals are crying out loud that they don’t know the meaning of the word. Look up the word : http://www.thefreedictionary.com/intellectual
    And do they know anything about reading? No! That one learned to read, doesn’t mean that one knows how to read. Potter readers want the story, they don’t want to know about how to read.

    Children’s books? Read by millions of adults. Should we not give only the best to our children. Is it o.k. that it is badly written cliché reading stuff because it is only for children?

    Well, you can all explode now into shitty witty fun. I am going to another world with the poems by Carol Moldaw

  6. My, aren’t we pretentious? Apparently you’re not interested in debate, only in dropping your condescension on blogs and walking away with your nose in the air. Wait, you dropped something…a name…and your dignity.

    You DO understand, O Diogenes, that the article quoted above is a spoof. I mean, like, you get that, right?

  7. I s’pose this is old news, but this guy ripped off British scientist and author Peter Russell, (See Russell’s book, The Global Brain, written in the ’80s.) The man’s a HAWG.

  8. You’re write on both counts: it didn’t make any sense AND this is the wrong place to apologize to Harold Bloom.

    But it is also really amusing, so comment away!

  9. You uh… you guys do realize that this whole story is a gag right? Harold Bloom never actually said those things…

    I mean he does hate Harry Potter but he never lost his shit on a line of enthusiasts

  10. What on Earth do you mean? All of my comments are 100% completely, totally sincere, and you can ask Xenu: he’ll be happy to give me a glowing reference. Just be sure to shield it with lead before reading.

  11. Mr. Bloom is absolutely wright, more and more people are becoming stupider. If people were to read serious works of literature the world would be a better place, but instead they go with the fads which we know are not always (if not never lasting). Mr. Bloom just wants to prevent the world’s readers to become assholes, but if people don’t get that it’s their lost. DUMB ASSES!

  12. Well


    Je shuffle embarrassantement de le talon sinistre a le talon droit

    Senor Umberto l’explique a tout le monde

    C’est tres difficile pour disagreer avec Senor Umberto

    L”Aigle Gris

  13. Well, the only person replying to your comments at all is me. I think you need a blog, so you can speak Brazilish to Brazillions of Brazilians everywhere.

  14. You know Umberto, it’s probably a good idea for you not to take personal responsibility for every suicide around the world. If I were you, I’d get a blog and become fascinated with myself instead of other people. It’s healthier for everyone.

  15. Umberto, you amaze me. That was one of the most confusing and enlightening three and one half hours of my life. Thank you.
    I hope you get the respect you deserve, and good luck getting to go to the university and becoming a philosopher, I think you’d be good at it.
    All the best.

  16. Umberto is a wonder of nature, but I think he’s gotten pissed off since I started moderating his comments. I don’t let the violent ones go up, so I think he’s left us.

  17. Well, it was doing HIM no good either, so I kept them off the page. He’s schizophrenic, so allowing him to mess himself up would not be “responsible blog ownery” of me. But he does come back every few months.

  18. Well, for quite some time, he was the only one blogging. How do you mean that he might “mess himself up”?

  19. Well, he was posting physical threats to people and visions of genocide and stuff. Not good.

    And he has never blogged. He has commented on my blog, but not gotten one of his own.

  20. No, not good at all, I suppose. He really should get a blog… although, he did write books about himself, didn’t he?

  21. I’ve been offline. You want me to erase it? I actually treasure your comments, so what i’ll do is just hide it so I can see it but other people can’t. Will that work?

  22. (Philosophy – vacancy:22 my place:97)
    You can find almost anything in the web,like telepathy and poltergeist,but I found not “shared imagination”.What certainly means the rat nose and the green aura I saw in Gabriela Castellano were my first hallucinations(1990/91).Like the guy with long hair wearing a T-Shirt written Vio-lence,Sadus and Suicidal Tendencies and the logos disapear when I look back at him.I used to think:”how this people are intelligent! I never knew about it!” It happened with the teacher V. Kurak too, but in this case he just used the blue color and I used the red color back. The three are of USP.Gabriela and Kurak are phisicists;the other I think he was,too.
    The phisicist Vanderley (who studied in MIT) never said he was running for Nobel Prize.I read it in the paper,but later i realized …I mean,i didn’t read in the paper,it was a very realistic illusion.What a shame the insult in that second booklet.At less I didn’t wrote his whole name…he was a nice teacher.
    And I had seen some people who don’t exist,it is what i believe now,like the giant who passed by my side one time or another,the old man on the bus stop smiling to me with his polite clothes and his pocket gold watch,and,sure,the Jesus.
    I don’t think it was a “mad” who seemed and dressed like Jesus,I believe it was hallucination really.I gave him a cigarrette and he smoked by my side and went away.

  23. But you are also anti-Semitic. We’ve had this discussion before: you need to relax, get off the internet, and go for a walk or something. Be sure and take your meds and don’t stress.

  24. raincoaster,I have a wish you could realize.
    I am talking about you erase EACH post I sent here,since May 13,2008.It is an endless mount of injustified calumns.
    My medications have been changed and I am without allucinations.I am on Haldol injections and another pills.
    I didn’t want to write this here, but makes me feel so sad agressing people who i liked very much once,like Gilberto Capuzzo,mainly.
    So you should consider it.By me,you can erase it all.
    Thank you very much.

  25. Thanks, Umberto. I’ll take a look. If you want your comments taken down, I’ll take them down.

    Glad to hear you are doing much better. I hope you’re feeling good.

  26. G Eagle Squad ,você e nascido na Itália e se tornou um /olicial “sensível” aqui na minha cidade.Eu dis/enso seus /oucos serviços a meu favor, e todos os seus desserviços, ou seja, todas as suas mentiras que você me inculca quando se /assa /or alguém confiável.. E um insulto ara mim quando alguém me joga um anzol, na mesma forma quando uma ‘galinha’ me /ede um filho Talvez Franca e UK seriam mais categorizados /ara devolver todo o es/olio cometido contra mim.Mas, concordemos, ate dois anos atrás esses dois /aises eram horríveis, como os USA..

  27. Remembering the books were on the table / the /ictures were /ainted at the House / the com/uter I am using is a co/y from the original

  28. not just the above, but some /olicemen are dis/ensable , like witch hunters or leeches,who are gaining money for works they are not needed. They should /roduce in another /rofession.

  29. Pelo menos desde maio eu acreditava que entre meu nascimento em 68 até 73 a maioria dos grandes classicos da literatura e filosofia mundial havia sido produzida dentro de minha casa de madrugada é sido sequestrada pela polícia do regime militar para ser editada e publicada ao redor do mundo em uma trama contra mim. Além do que vários produtos tecnológicos como o celular e o microcomputador teriam se materializado como mágica dentro de minha casa nessa época e igualmente sequestrados. De forma que isso gradualmente gerou uma neurose crescente ate um surto tipico envolvendo guerras ao redor do mundo delirios de grandeza etc. Obviamente tudo isso acima esta fora da realidade e achei que eu deveria escrever esse texto para tentar fixar minha cabeça no mundo real.

  30. Was Gerhard random?Well, that’s sugestive. I think he was intentionally,not random. I sleepwalk.. I am not a nationalist,far from it,but,I suppose that I could ask you ,believing you are from this this “high -developed” country – what was the population of Vancouver,Toronto,Quebec and Ottawa at 1967? I have some interessing in build the puzzles of HistoryIt’s told by the funest..I don’t know much of Canada,just Cronemberg,”Moving Pictures”(“Moving Pictures”…) of Rush,Alcan…I shouldn’t come back in this site again,but I did.November 7 cos I am not a ignorant like B.S.said. Maybe the current days “raincoaster” is not random.

  31. Why does the population of several Canadian cities in 1967 matter?

    Why do you think Bunk Strutts is named Gerhard? And why did you say Bye to him?

    I’m too old to be random, except when someone is following me. Then, being random helps you lose them.

  32. Maybe around 96,25 % of the population of Canada was random..At least,at 31/12/2016,before becaming poor and sterile.I won’t answer you anymore.

  33. The good point in my schizophrenia is believing in my being like the only one in the world that will survive death along with the belief that my next life will be like perfect.The voices that talk to my head are sometimes very repetitive and irritating,despite the are strangely quiet now,to me it’s obvious they come outside my head,and since they try to fool me , I don’t believe the tales they tell.What doesn’t mean too much,because even knowing it, they insist in talking and talking.Well,books and,like, lyrics of musics seem to corroborate my points of view and my reality .I don’t give an hour to my mind become again full of “sound and fury”…

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