Monthly Archives: October 2008

International Talk Like Sarah Palin Day

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I read Facebook so YOU don’t have to. And this is typical of the kind of thing I find there:

Grog Fest Inf’rm’tion
Cap’n:
Teddy Ware and Chrissy Tolley
Sort:
Book learnin’ – Learnin’ Crew
Fleets:
Global
Time and Port
When:
Tuesdee, Octobarrr 21, 2008
Hourrrr:
12:00 in the mornin’ – 11:55 in the evenin’
Coordinates:
Wherever mooses be found
Port City:
Anchorage, AK
(I should perhaps explain that I have enabled Pirate English on my Facebook)

Sarah Palin is one of the most accomplished public speakers of all time. Through her insightful remarks about the economy and foreign affairs, she has inspired a nation to incite world-wide change. On this day, we honor her pseudo-Minnesotan accent and bubbly energy.

How? Like this:

dances with fish

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Eat your heart out, Kevin Costner! Stolen from Defamer, here are two dancing with fish videos, American style. I believe you’ve all seen it done English style, yes? There is also (in escalating order of insanity) the Filipino fish dance, the Nigerian fish dance, Greek fish dance, Brazilian fish dance, the Nine Inch Nails Nation fish dance, and the traditional Naked Canadian fish dance.

First, robotically-enhanced animated anime figure Olivia Munn from Attack of the Show, trying and failing to perform a sexy duet with (in order) a trout (doesn’t look that old to me), a salmon (no word on if it was pink), and, in her pièce de résistance (and longtime readers will have seen this – so to speak – coming), a Squid.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Next up, a long-forgotten starlet shimmys with another cold fish in this clip from the transcendant Vixen by that Leonardo of schlock, Russ Meyers.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Violence. The word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favourite mantle still remains – sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled.

I must warn you…

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dog

I must warn you that I’m going on about forty-five minutes of sleep since two days ago, have consumed nothing but caffeinated beverages, a turkey sandwich, two oranges and a bag of chocolate chip cookies today, and have another blog post to do over at Ayyyy before I crash, so this could get weird.
Oh yeah, and I worked on the election all day, as a polling clerk in a mobile poll. And it’s a full moon tonight, Hunter’s Moon, Blood Moon.
I was absolutely crushed not to be in charge of the polling place at the city jail, but oh well, you can’t have everything! How would you keep it fresh? Polling at two assisted-living communities and a women’s shelter were interesting enough to fill the day. It’s not every day you meet a fellow who was in the Normandy invasion (not the one in 1066, the later one, going in the other direction).
Not in the women’s shelter.

srsly

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dog

Bits of what? one might ask…

Quiz: what should you name your boobs

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Never let it be said that I failed to pander.


You Should Call Your Boobs


Skull and Crossbones

Actually, I don’t call mine anything at all. It’s not as if they’re going to pay attention to you when you do that anyway.