Daily Briefing Bingo Edition 2.0

PM Zoolander rides a moose. As one does.

PM Zoolander rides a moose as one does.

If you’re new to Daily Briefing Bingo, check out Daily Briefing Bingo Edition 1.0 and get your first-edition Daily Briefing Bingo card. From this point onward, you can play either or both cards from this point onward.

The first edition card does not have any completed lines yet, but here’s hoping! Come on, Ascot! Come on, Jeans! Come on, Blue Steel! Sadly, second column is a complete skunk, with not a single box ticked at this point. Ou est le blue plaid jacket d’antan?

Here’s the Daily Briefing Bingo Card Edition 2.0. It’s a PDF, so if you’ve got the right software you download and play with it on the computer, or you can print it out and mark it up in meatspace, rollin’ old skool.

Moving forward, from this point on, our new reality is (sorrynotsorry) squares featuring appearances by a diverse cast of characters and phrases including international vaccine alliance GAVI, visible perspiration, porchscaping, “Ramping up”, “The new normal”, “Who we are”, and the highly controversial Wears brown shoes with a grey or blue suit, which is JUST MORALLY WRONG.

Remember to play safe, and maintain good social distancing and mask hygiene while playing, and to never, and I mean never, speak moistly.

 

 

8 thoughts on “Daily Briefing Bingo Edition 2.0

  1. For Friday, June 12:
    Begins with French
    Brown shoes with blue suit, JUST MORALLY WRONG
    Blue suit
    Touches face
    Pushes hair back
    Gesticulates
    My aunt calls during briefing

  2. For Monday, June 15 HOLY SHIT IT’s HALFWAY THROUGH JUNE ALREADY HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

    Brown shoes with grey suit which is, say it with me, JUST MORALLY WRONG.
    Deflects responsibility to provinces
    Gesticulates
    Drinks water
    Touches face
    Refers to non-religious day, week, or month
    Grey suit
    Begins in English
    -30-

  3. And now, for Tuesday, June 16. Was it only a week and a half ago?

    Begins in French
    Blue suit
    Blue suit with brown shoes that is JUST MORALLY WRONG
    Keeps border closed
    HAIRCUT!!!! Big news, HAIRCUT!!!
    Gesticulates
    We rule that the presence of a spider and/or spider web does NOT qualify as “Insect” square. Spiders are arachnids.

  4. The results for Wednesday, June 17:
    Foreshadows announcement coming later by someone else named
    Blue suit
    Gesticulates
    Calls reporter by name
    Insect, a real one this time. Casting must have read our complaint yesterday re: clumsy subbing of arachnid.
    Drinks water
    Avoids calling out the US or Trump by name
    Brown shoes with blue suit which is just, say it with me, MORALLY WRONG.

  5. Thursday, June 18 Daily Briefing Bingo results:

    Blue suit
    Begins in English
    Drinks water
    Touches face
    Deflects responsibility to provinces
    Gesticulates, boy howdy does he ever

  6. Friday, June 19:

    Begins in French, which is appropriate, as he is in Chelsea. Which is very nice.
    Shout out to non-religious day, ie Father’s Day.
    Gesticulates
    Addresses reporter by name
    Drinks water
    Touches face
    Insect
    “PPE”

  7. And now for Monday, June 22:

    Begins in French
    Brown shoes with blue suit yes, STILL MORALLY WRONG
    “As we move forward”
    Gesticulates
    Drinks water

  8. It’s been a light week. No briefings between Monday and Thursday so here’s this morning’s:

    Begins in French
    Blue suit
    Drinks water
    Gesticulates
    Pushes responsibility to provinces IN SPADES, and quite rightly.
    Addresses reporter by name
    Blue Steel YES BLUE STEEL!
    Brown shoes with blue suit YOU KNOW HOW THIS GOES BY NOW.

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