Dr. Jekyll versus the Covid Briefing Bingo

So, this is where we are, kittens. Back at Rideau Cottage, naming these posts after old Paul Naschy wolfman films. Will the pandemic endure so long that we’ll run out of Naschy movies and have to begin naming them after old episodes of Kolchak?

Only The Shadow knows.

So, here we are.

Here are your Covid Briefing Bingo cards so far, and YES, yes, I know. I have to get you the seventh generation sometime before the vaccine is released!

And all the previous bingo episodes are on the Briefing Bingo Category page

Our video:

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addresses Canadians from outside his home in Ottawa on the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic.

And here’s the full text. Do they have a teleprompter at Rideau Cottage? Because I didn’t see him looking at any papers. And if they have one at his house, why don’t they have one in the briefing room they’ve been using all Fall?

As you can see, we are back at the old hangout, Rideau Cottage, and you can mark your square for “Seasonal porchscaping.” This is something people in Ottawa go in for bigly; being from BC I think at the very most I’d see a wreath and an inflatable Grinch, and that was in the whole neighborhood. We skipped over “Cottonwood fluff and insects” season altogether.

Pontificating for a moment I’d say that the return to Rideau Cottage means a) Trudeau is working from home for some reason. Self-isolating, perhaps? b) He’s not worried some Q-Twat will try to off him.

Let us begin, kittens.

Trudeau is in a hell of a mood. “I don’t want to be here. You don’t want me to be here. But here we are again. Cases are spiking.” This isn’t a speech on paper. He’s doing this off the cuff and memory. TBH these are always better. When it’s an emotional message, this way is better. He’s good at it.

1418 new cases in Ontario, largely in the Toronto, Peel, and York regions. Trudeau appeals to the citizens not to slack off on their precautions, not to have a dinner party (socially distanced or not), not to get together with friends.

The worst case scenario could see 60,000 new cases a day diagnosed in Canada. “The best way to protect the economy is to get the virus under control.”

Mark your “Outerwear” square, “Second wave” and “Starts in English” on a lighter note.

Trudeau explains that in the first wave we thought doing what kept us safe was bad for the economy, but now we know the opposite is true. Staying safe is the best way to support the economy. All the business supports have been enshrined in law now, thanks to a cross-party effort to pass it yesterday.

Yes, go ahead and mark your “stern teacher voice” square.

“Name-checks Dr. Theresa Tam” square active, mark that one off.

“They are heroes. They are going above and beyond ANYTHING they thought they were signing up for.” Trudeau asks people to think about the medical workers who face the unimaginable, every day.

Trudeau specifically challenges employers to let their workers work from home. And reminds everyone to download the app (the federal one, that works, not the Alberta one, which uh…).

Trudeau is calling out Alberta and BC about their non-adoption of the federal app. And good on him, because that is not merely stupid; it is actively preventing the federal government from saving lives.

Sooper, my internet clogged up. Mark your “Technical difficulties” square. This thing is glitching hard; it’s like watching a briefing animated by Francis Bacon.

Now Trudeau is offering condolences to the family of the Holocaust survivor who made it through WWII and came to Canada, raised a family, and recently passed away from Covid-19.

Trudeau says he’s working from home again, so he’s basically modeling the behaviour he wants to see from Canadians. Bully pulpit for the win. And mark your “Keeps the border closed” square, yay!

Sign language interpreter on the right has his groove on.

“We have a long winter ahead. Wear a mask. Keep your distance. Download and use the app. Avoid gatherings of all sizes. And know that together, being there for one another, we’ll get through it.”

And marks your “Drinks water” square. Now on to the questions.

Trudeau seemed to drop the posh French accent and get a little more vernacular, get a little more Quebec, when answering that question about “So what about Christmas?”

Mark your “Swaps out sign language interpreters” square. “We have your backs” really needs to be a square in this game.

Reporter asks if Trudeau if he’ll bring in some federal rules to prevent interprovincial travel, which he does not wish to do. “Not an idea I’m even contemplating right now.” Mark your “Pushes responsibility to provinces.”

You know, this man is just damn good at this off the cuff stuff. Knitting climate change into the pandemic response with specific examples and big-picture inspiration.

“We’re seeing a lot of people falling prey to conspiracy theories” and calls out the Conservatives specifically for pushing disinformation. Dang! FIRST BLOOD!

Trudeau says he’s not advocating a national lockdown; he’s advocating listening to your premiers and local politicians. Which is a politically inspired way to make sure the negatives associate with anything and anyone other than the federal government.

Since we’re in outerwear seasons I think I should have a square for “Buttons” and one for “Zipper”. The zipper is a Canadian invention, did you know?

“Shout-out to religious holiday” of course, for all the references to Christmas.

“I think a lot of people are done with this,” says Trudeau, sounding VERY VERY DONE WITH THIS.

“It was a blunt object of a tool, a national shutdown. We’re seeing provinces using targeted shutdowns in a much better way. It’s unfair and it’s frustrating. YUP. No question about it. Everyone is sick and tired of this. We need to know that the end is in sight. We need to do one last big effort.”

Oh yeah, we had “the path forward” several times, so mark that square. “Our focus is not on politics. Our focus is on Canadians.” You know, he’s so good at this I would almost even believe him, were I inclined to anything but goth angst these days.

Mark your “Touches face” square as he listens to reporter ask if he can mandate specific ways to force people to use the app. He responds that it should be up to individuals, that making the choice is itself a meaningful act.

Last square is “Outdoors” of course which could have been your first square if you’d been paying attention at the start the way I wasn’t because I was too busy trying to get the coffee into me.

Meanwhile, in the US:

Yes, kittens, irony is indeed well and truly dead.

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