The Battle of Billings Bridge Briefing Bingo

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Okay, Possums. We’re here. We’re caffeinated. We’re ready. We’re bloody well tired of waiting around, watching fascists fasc, aren’t we?

Fascists don’t arrest fascists. Professional courtesy.

You goddam bet your sweet bippy we are. Riverside is ready to rumble. Byward Market is boiling. Kanata is cantankerous. Greely is grumbling. Sandy Hill is sulking. Tunney’s Pasture is anything but pastoral. Centretown has shifted to Radical Leftsville. Hintonburg, well, it’s done with hinting and has gone to flat-out ultimatums. The Glebe is…considering a strongly-worded letter to the editor. THAT is how bad things have gotten in Ottawa.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

After three solid weeks of inaction, cajoling (hey, they’ve Got Your Backs, doncha know), capitulation, and even collaboration, the various levels of government responsible for Ottawa have decided that perhaps, just perhaps, it might be time to do something.

And that thing? is not to collaborate with the insurrectionists’ demand that the Governor General dissolve Parliament and form a new government with them.

Much to their surprise.

No indeedy. And it wasn’t a sudden influx of troops that’s given the government all these stainless steel clackers in the legpit region, either.

It was us.

It was, to be more specific, the people of the counter-protest at the traffic bottleneck known as Billings Bridge, which is an actual physical bridge as well as a strangely depressing shopping mall. I think it’s the food court. But anyway.

Here’s where it got its start, as a Clash with the Fash that will ring throughout history.

Several of the convoyageurs have been wont to go out on a daily scenic drive of the neighborhoods around their encampment downtown, honking and begging for attention. They used to come by my place at 2 every day tooting their little horns (it was generally one or two actual trucks and a buncha pickups and minivans) until it finally dawned on them that nobody ever honked back. The saddest little parade it was. I was gonna put up a sign that said “Honk if you love Trudeau” but they never came back.

Anyhoodle, the people of Billings Bridge and environs weren’t about to put up with that, so emboldened by the unified action of the dog walkers (oh, those troublemakers! radical lefties of the personal-services industry if ever there were such) the people of Billings Bridge (and environs, don’t forget the environs, we don’t want them to feel marginalized) rose up as one, or rather as several hundred, and blockaded the convoy.

We go to our reporter on the ground. Well, we hope our reporter didn’t hit the ground. We hope they typed this from an ergonomic chair in a cozy home office.

citizen/counter protesters turned the tables on the occupiers and pinned a long line of them on riverside drive. cops attempted to get (us) to let them through on the promise that they wouldn’t allow them to go downtown. But trust in the local police is shredded and no one budged.

morning turned to afternoon on this frigid sunday as the crowd swelled. pizzas and a sound system were brought in and i as well as most of us around the city i’m sure experienced something that felt like catharsis – a small victory.

eventually after some negotiating, citizens were allowing one truck at a time to pass through (on the outskirts) provided they removed their flags from their truck first lol. you love to see it.

across the city pockets of citizens, fed up with the non -response from the cops and political leaders, took to key intersections and turned away the occupiers in numbers. my retweeting thumb is practically sore from signal boosting.

what fucking choice do we have here – they’re forcing the closure of grocery stores in the core, people can’t get food, they’ve attempted to burn down a building, some are losing count of the amount of times they’ve been harassed. we’re heading into the third week and the people of this town have had enough, many are sleep deprived. AHK.

don’t know that I’ve ever been prouder to be an ottawan.

if it warms closer to zero this week, you bet your ass I’ll be making my way to any nearby intersection that needs bodies to block out the fash.

if they’re still here.

onward and upward!

Taking Heed

Some visuals, for the visually inclined.

Awww, Karen’s freedumbs have been interfered with. No more Confederate flags! No more Nazi symbols. Just allow me to note that both the Confederates and the Nazis lost. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Here’s the blow-by-blow from the eminently follow-worthy @CanadianOsprey:

And his thoughts collected by ThreadappReader:

Been reviewing my pics of “Battle of Billings Bridge” today. Struck by images of entitled insurrectionist couples in Lincoln’s, SUVs and pickups who just had most shocking & humiliating day of their lives. 1/
They started day with their freedumb, racist and anti-democratic symbols and play-acting camo thinking that they’d invade DT Ottawa once again for the 🎊 Sunday Party 🎉 on Wellington. 2/
When they were first delayed by #HerosofRiverside they naturally assumed that @OttawaPolice would once again facilitate their journey. 3/
Citizens of Ottawa were having none of it; refused to back down; rolled their eyes when police said “you need to trust us … we’re trying to protect you”. 4/
Result was those entitled asshats spent a very long day being educated on democracy, community, science, public health, anti-social behaviour and importance of protecting the most vulnerable all while sitting stone-faced in their cabs under a beautiful blue winter sky. 5/
In midst of a basic civics lesson which should never have to be given to adults they were also subjected to endless shaming, vilification, mockery and taunting. 6/
Eventually after they’d taken down all their offensive gear (incl Maple Leaf flags which these terrorists have appropriated) and given up their gas cans they were allowed to slowly retreat. A few were left with mementoes. 7/ Image
All plates and occupants were captured on pictures and videos including those who tried for a while to hide behind their hands or shawls. 8/
I’ve decided not to post photos of these pathetic souls hoping that a few of them will have been so shaken by today’s events that they’ll go home to question the many wrong decisions that led them to Billings Bridge. 9/
I am however under zero illusions. Today was an exhilarating event that reinvigorated this Centretowner. But it was a minor skirmish in what will end up being a long battle for future of a democratic nation based on an imperfect constitution and rule of law.

Mark Davidson (CanadianOsprey) on Twitter via Threadapp Reader

Now that we know what went down yesterday among The Actual People, we can mention that their Public Servants met and that’s resulted in today’s result, whatever that will be.

Although it will be the Emergency Measures Act.

Anyhoodle, here’s our video from CPAC, with 1484 watching, about ten times as many as usually tune in right on time (since he’s ALWAYS late) although after it finished fewer than 6,000 people had seen it, much lower than I expected:

At a news conference on Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau delivers remarks and responds to questions from reporters. The federal government is invoking the federal Emergencies Act in an effort to address ongoing convoy protests that have affected border crossings and cities across the country. The prime minister is joined by Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland as well as ministers David Lametti (justice) Marco Mendicino (public safety) and Bill Blair (emergency preparedness).

And our Bingo cards:

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GiveSendGo #TruckerConvoy2022 Fundraiser Hack

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The Fucker Convoy just can’t win. GoFundMe frozen, then taken down. Protonmail workaround turned out to be a terrible idea. GiveSendGo fundraiser? Hacked to oblivion and leaked to the world, along with a lulzy video that I transcribed in full here. Enjoy.

The Cryptosphere

To be clear, this is different from the GiveSendGo leak, reported earlier by Mikael Thalen, who has been all over this story from the word Go. Or GiveSendGo anyway.

To recap: a group of roughly 150 big rig trucks and somewhere over 200 personal vehicles has been “occupying” downtown Ottawa for three weeks now. This hasn’t made much of a dent in the way Ottawa itself works, as most government workers outside of those who actually work in the Parliament buildings work at Tunney’s Pasture and other locations where the real estate is cheaper and less historic. It IS annoying for downtown residents, some of whom endured an attempt by convoyageurs to trap them in an apartment building and set it aflame.

Downtown is also the location for many homeless people, some of whom have been beaten or had their food stolen by convoyistes.

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The #FluTruxKlan Covid Briefing Bingo

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Here we are, two days after the actual briefing, at last running it through that most important of all cultural lenses: that of fandom and trivia! Yes, we’re here in 2022, on the cutting edge of the Zeitgeist, where complex, critical issues can only be understood in terms of principles of worship and faith that we learned in Sunday School, and God help you if you’re not a Christian. Erin O’Toole won’t. Can’t. Whatever.

I love that they set out to destroy Trudeau and ended up only bagging O’Toole.
I mean, I’ve heard worse suggestions.

Well, we’re here. Let’s do this. Let’s just do this fucking thing.

Here’s our video, which CPAC initially screwed up so it had one literal hour of dead airtime before the actual speech began, but they’ve now fixed it. Congratulations to the over 140,000 people who persevered and watched it anyway. 633 Likes, zero Dislikes for the record. It was indeed a good one. Especially for a guy who just tested positive for Covid-19.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau comments as a protest against COVID-19 vaccine mandates continues in Ottawa. The downtown area in the nation’s capital has been gridlocked since the protest began January 28 on Parliament Hill. The prime minister is speaking from self-isolation after testing positive for COVID-19. Two of his children have also tested positive.

And here are our bingo cards:

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The Fuzzy Covid Briefing Bingo

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Fuzzy is not another dwarf. It’s just how I feel today, since I got up before 10am for once in my life. Let’s get right into it. God knows, my skating trip is off for today and there’s fuckall else to do.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, particularly if they’re running a fever and can operate as hot water bottles!

TORONTO (The Borowitz Report)—Canada, already bracing for the possible inflow of millions of American refugees in November, might have made matters worse by releasing an unacceptably adorable photo of its Prime Minister hugging two baby pandas, Canadians fear.

Our video is here, with only 312 people watching:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and the spread of the Omicron variant. He is joined by Jean-Yves Duclos, the federal minister of health.

and our cards are here:

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Trudeau Got Vaccinated. Again

The Early Morning (Well, Almost On Time) Covid Briefing Bingo

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Is it too early? It’s too early.

A nation cringes!

I’m calling it anyway: regular Wednesday 11:30am Covid briefings until we’re out of this whole “setting record highs in hospital admissions and new cases” mess, which could be March, if then. And of course during this pandemic when is the ONLY standing appointment I have each week? Wednesday, at 11am.

I feel seen.

Nonetheless, I have changed the appointment, because I WILL NOT BE THWARTED GODDAMMIT! I’m too bored. You wouldn’t like me when I’m bored. Hell, most people don’t even like me when I’m fully entertained.

So, come along with me as I attempt to wrest from a federal covid briefing all the entertainment value that may be latent therein, and quite a bit more if my English prof’s notes (“you have over-read this haiku, and I don’t have time to read fourteen pages”) are anything to go by. By which to go. Whatever.

Let’s start with some freshly-made outrage, shall we?

Do you (not) see what I (do not) see?

That’s right: NO MASKS! Shock! Horror! Also, we can’t see the Famous Tattoo from this angle! Call the DailyFail and the NatPoPo! Are we all outraged? Flushed with adrenaline and grasping for our phones? Good, good. My work here is done. Counts as aerobic exercise, people! Probably the most that some of us will get all year.

You see, I then looked at the date and it was 2018. *sad trombone* Doesn’t that seem like ancient history now? It was the Pre-Covidian Age, an era without masks. Masks are to 2022 what fedoras were to 1936. Just don’t tip them; tip your delivery worker!

Also, tips are a way for capitalists to push the burden of fair payment for workers off itself and onto its customers. The only wage should be a living wage.

But where was I before I scrambled to the top of my soapbox (don’t blame me, it’s the only way I can see from the cheap seats!). Right, about to start with the Covid briefing which is, for once, suspiciously almost on time.

Here’s our video:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and the spread of the Omicron variant. He is joined by federal ministers Jean-Yves Duclos (health), Filomena Tassi (public services and procurement) and Mary Ng (international trade). Responding to questions from reporters, the prime minister comments on Quebec’s announcement that it is considering a financial penalty for residents who refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19.

Ten thousand views, by the Seven Hours Later point. Impressive, and possibly a record. People are much more engaged with this one than they were with earlier briefings, perhaps because the gravity of the situation, and the degree to which it was preventable all along, is beginning to sink in. Yeah, that’s what passes for optimism in my house at least these days.

And our cards:

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