Apparently there's some kind of Medieval Scholar Knees-Up/Conference going on this week, and in the spirit of contributing to the occasion (although he is long dead), Geoffrey Chaucer has posted in his blog some of the best pickup lines of the late Middle Ages. Use with care; we assume no liability, etc.

Warning: as one commenter says, some of these were old even in G-Ch's time.

GALFRIDUS CHAUCERES LYNES OF PICKE-VPPE:

-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.

-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?

-Shulle we maken the cindreblokke to synge?

-Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles?

-Were thou yn my seisin, ich wolde nevir escheat on thee. 

-The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of consanguinitee. Game on!

-Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands?

-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?

–By my soule, thou art a verye mappe of helle. For thy face lyk the rivere Styx wil make me swere oothes neuer to be fforsworn, and thy embrace lyk the Lethe shal make me foryet al else, and lyk vnto the Flegeton thyn arse ys ON FYRE!

-Howe abovte a blancmange and the acte of Venus? Whatte, blancmange pleseth thee nat?

-If ich sayde that thou hadde a bele chose, woldstow holde it ayeinst me?