The Wolf Covid Briefing Bingo

Good morning, Possums. We’re back, with the latest in our gamified political briefing coverage. Today’s title fits into our arbitrary, overarching nomenclature theme. So far we have had:

And here’s our video:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health), Mary Ng (international trade) and Karina Gould (international development), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.

And here are the cards:

And we’re off.

Here we go, mark “Facial hair” and “Mask” and “Maple leaf accessory” and “vocal malfunction” and “Begins in French.” Mark Rapid Tests, vaccines, shades Alberta squares. And blue suit, it’s always a blue suit these days. We’re never seeing that fuzzy plaid jacket again.

Dr. Tam gives you the “shout-out to non-religious holiday” with a reference to Mother’s Day. Unexpected reference to macaroni artwork there. This does not make it into Dr. Njoo’s translation as far as I can tell. Unless “macaroni” is different in French, which, why would it be? It’s Italian in English too. And mark the “technical difficulties” square as well for the lag time, and “Dr Njoo is not wearing glasses” and the “Dr. Tam” square from the first gen card I think it was.

And now we’re on to the questions. Mark your “paper straightening” and “pen fidgeting” squares. The moderator says Trudeau will take six questions, then leave. This is new.

“This doesn’t end anywhere until it ends everywhere” is a square, isn’t it? and mark “Touches Face” square. I was not prepared for all these questions about international efforts, we have no squares for that.

Marieke Walsh, apparently no longer grateful that people here to answer questions are answering her questions, asks why he won’t come out and say one thing or the other about patent waivers. And mark “Drinks water” and there is much paper-straightening going on. He continues to not say one thing or the other.

“From the very beginning” and again “We don’t end this anywhere until we end it everywhere”. And mark “Donc” as well. And “Sign language interpreters swapped out.” I think I’ll give you “florals” for the large, is it a brooch?, that Minister Ng is wearing.

Mark your “Telford” square, and the question is, did she know something you, the PM, did not know? Trudeau says she’ll speak for herself this afternoon, so mark your “Refers to statement coming later” square. And a good question about how only 23% of sexual assault investigators are female. “You can change this tomorrow.” And Trudeau bunts, pointing out they’ve got Carignan and Arbour in charge, two women, and says they will put in whatever supports are necessary.

“Ontarians are going through incredibly difficult times right now” he says, not finishing the “because their Premier is a moron” thought. Mark your “Doug Ford” square. And “Reiterates the border will remain closed” over and over and over. He says Doug Ford’s people requested action to ban international students, and once then they’ve run an attack ad and that’s it, no other follow up. There’s your “Gesticulates” square and “concerned priest handclasp” as well.

Shaaaaaaade “We’re pleased that” Ontario is finally doing all these things they should have been doing all along. “Our priority is on helping Canadians, not politics, and I think Canadians can see that,” he says, playing politics very well.

There is “we don’t end this anywhere till we end it everywhere” for the is it fourth time? And mark your “I make a coffee and forget it in the kitchen” square. Mark your “Camera follows Trudeau out of the room even though someone else is speaking” square.

Gotta love Patty Hajdu. Excellent background with art, live plants, a comfy daybed with pretty cushions, and a big Canadian flag, and what appears to be a cashmere sweatshirt. I aspire to be a highly important person who conducts important meetings in cashmere sweats. Mark “Someone on mute” too.

Mark “Pushes responsibility to provinces” on the mandatory vaccine question.

Did we have a square for “reporter does not have a question?” Because Reporter, what do you think your job IS?

Technical difficulties are the real theme of today’s briefing, at least chez raincoaster

Mark your “Technical Difficulties” square for my computer freezing for 20 minutes.

Classy! Glad to see my darning pile including bra made it into the shot. Mother would be so proud.

“Contact tracing” square active, and Dr Tam says basically there are too many cases to trace and the focus is more on isolation. So I took that Johns Hopkins course for nothing. Last week I think Trudeau said there are 300 contact tracers in Canada, but to deal with a single case of Covid-19 takes a contact tracer several hours: you have to call the case, figure out where they went, who they contacted, and then notify those people. So a total of 300 contact tracers can handle about 500 cases per day, whereas we are getting 7,981 new cases per day, so you can see the futility.

Either ramp up (a provincial responsibility, according to Hajdu) or give up.

Mark your “my aunt calls during the briefing” square and the “I make a coffee and forget it in the kitchen” as well and now we’re done.

Wait, WAS Karina Gould at the briefing today? I didn’t see her there. If she was a part of it, mark your “Important person doesn’t speak once” square. And of course mark “Someone appears via video” as usual. I forgot that one.

Speaking of under-reported stories (which we were, just a paragraph ago), there’s this.

Trudeau was leaving the grounds of his official residence, Rideau Cottage, when Two-Socks —a lone wolf he had befriended — began following the motorcade.

“Go home! Go home!” Trudeau shouted from his vehicle window, instructing his driver to speed up.

However, witnesses say that only made Two-Socks run faster.

As the motorcade was about to leave the grounds of Rideau Cottage, a frustrated Trudeau exited his vehicle and attempted to once again shoo the wolf away.

When Trudeau began walking back to his vehicle, RCMP confirm, Two-Socks playfully nipped at his heel, causing the Prime Minister to trip and fall to the ground.

Walking Eagle News, for sure a totally reliable and not at all allegorical news source

And now, a message from Gurdeep, Canada’s Living National Treasure. Yes, in Canada we dance bhangra to celebrate the launch of the national census. Mark your “who we are” square.

In other news, some people still don’t have socialized medicine.

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