We’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us, Possums? We missed you too. If we could, we’d buy each of you a copy of Iyanla Vanzant’s book In The Meantime, because that’s very much where we are: after an election, but before Parliament gets back to work.
We’ve got a full house down on Wellington Street, so mark your “Reporter sits in the front row” square. Either the political reportage class of Canada is deathly bored after an election OR they suspect big news. We’re back at the Soon-To-Be-Renamed-If-I’m-Any-Guesser Sir John A. MacDonald building, so I guess even the nomenclature is liminal today.
I was supposed to be finishing my degree as of September, but thanks to paperwork that got pushed to January, so this entire Fall season is liminal for me. As is the Covidian Age, for us all, Possums. For all of us.
Let’s hope it’s a soft landing, Possums.
Here’s our video, Possums. As usual, from CPAC, with a walloping 427 people watching. The reporters got quite the lecture from some young guy in jeans, to which they paid more attention than reporters pay most people, so it must have been important, but the sound was off. C’mon, CPAC, we want our inside scoop!
Here we are, Possums, outside Rideau Hall which once more has a Governor-General in residence, even though it isn’t me. Alas. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE PEOPLE BUT NOOOOO.
But I’m over that.
Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.
Let’s get straight into it, because as usual I’ve left the blogging to the last minute. So here’s our video of the PM visiting the GG to ask her to dissolve Parliament (which is on vacation anyway) and call an election. Two days ago the Conservatives released a Not Officially Campaign Video on Twitter, one which was greeted with enthusiasm and relief. By everyone who opposes the Conservative Party. Because that thing is a mortifying clusterfuck. An expensive, mortifying clusterfuck produced by pricy foreign consultants that got ratioed all to hell on Twitter.
And yesterday the Liberal campaign ad leaked or was handed to FactPointVideo (whoever they are) and posted on YouTube:
Oh oops, was he not supposed to do that? Was that bad?
Pierre Poilievre deleted this Tweet were he complains about not being able to break federal election spending caps. He also dog-whistles to his conspiracy theory fan base with a "share NOW – while you're still allowed" reference. #Elxn44pic.twitter.com/KfXjF1hxZ9
We’re here, we’re caffeinated, and we’re doing this, Possums. Today is the investiture of the new Governor-General, who is NOT me (despite my second-best-impaired-by-Long-Covid efforts). It is Mary Simon, who, unlike me, is actually qualified for the job.
Whit and I are immensely proud and excited as we prepare for tomorrow’s installation ceremony. We hope you will tune in to experience this meaningful event alongside us. pic.twitter.com/xzcOhHLlaN
— Governor General of Canada (@GGCanada) July 25, 2021
Here’s the program for the event, and here’s our video, with a mere 155 people watching live:
Mary Simon is sworn in as Canada’s 30th governor general during an installation ceremony in the Senate chamber. The Inuk leader and former diplomat becomes the first Indigenous person to serve in the role.
So, Possums, here we are again. Justin Trudeau has jettisoned the Covid-specific Briefings in favour of popping up all over the country, announcing huge federal investments in the local economy, affordable childcare, and offering to walk your dog and cut your lawn, all of which can’t possibly be motivated by hopes of winning your vote, because he hasn’t called an election yet.
Or rather, since he’s got a minority government, the NDP and CPC would rather die than give him an election at the present time, he hasn’t been ABLE to call an election yet, really.
A very smart person I know said the inevitable election will be October 10, because new MPs won’t be vested in their pensions until October 9, and they would NEVER support a party leader who risked their pensions just because he had a 25-point lead on the nearest competitor.
— Parti Rhinocéros Party – Canada (@PartiRhino) July 5, 2021
Time, Possums. It will tell. It’s certainly unlikely until Parliament reconvenes, which isn’t until September. God knows, those cottages need an airing-out after all this time away from them. Ch’yeah, like they haven’t been going all this time. Meanwhile I’ve been sitting in the same chair in the same room since March of last year.
For this first iteration of Non-Election Election Bingo, we’ll be using the old Covid Briefing Bingo cards, so there’s not much of a learning curve. Once I figure out how to edit a PDF I’ll make some non-election-specific cards, but that day, it is not this day. I know you, you can roll with this.
So here is our video, CPAC willing. They were getting a little erratic, towards the end of the Trudeau Covid briefings. French narration over top of the PM talking, audio dropping, not getting the placeholder for the livestream up in time. We shall see. It adds an element of suspense to an otherwise predictable appearance in Brampton, Ontario, that global hub of intrigue and danger.
PMJT is in Brampton announcing an affordable housing development without Dougie😂
Sounds like Peel region will get more funding for development even after this announcement..
One suspects he does not take ALL the questions. One, in fact, knows this for sure.
Aha, here we are, 45 minutes late. Did he like, walk there or something? Let’s do this. Let us do this motherfucking thing.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau make an announcement on housing and takes questions from reporters in Brampton, Ontario. He is joined by Social Development Minister Ahmed Hussen and Transport Minister Omar Alghabra, as well as Brampton-area Liberal MPs Maninder Sidhu, Kamal Khera, Ruby Sahota, and Sonia Sidhu.
Hello, Possums, and welcome back to another episode of the Justin Trudeau Hour, coming to you live today from Rideau Cottage on the grounds of Rideau Hall, yet again. Just like old times, really. Will we have new porchscaping, Possums? An appearance from the family dog? Will we get the Sophie square? One is on tenterfuckinghooks, one is!
Today’s briefing is named after Napoleon, in accordance with our overarching nomenclature theme. Still no correct guesses in the comments section as to what that might be. But some plenty great visuals!
Justin Trudeau as Napoleon, from (where else) the National Post
We shall see if either of my computers can make it through today’s #BriefingBingo alive. One can’t get on the internet, the other refuses to boot.
We’re running a bit behind, so today’s intro will be abbreviated in the interests of expeditiousness which, unusually for a Canadian political interest, has no money or votes at all to trade for influence, but where were we? Oh right, getting to the point.
Here’s the video:
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addresses Canadians on the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic.
Well, that was a right Royal or at least Imperial clusterfuck, wasn’t it?
You can bet Napoleon would have had the whole CPAC team beheaded today.
So let’s for once use the CBC video and you’ll want to skip to 13:30 to avoid all the talking heads CBC has on salary and has to give airtime to. Well, for all I know they’re very good, but they’re just the warm-up for the actual bingo, right Possums?
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, federal ministers, and public health officials update Canadians on the latest measures the federal government is taking to slow the spread of COVID-19.
