Covid-19 Briefing Bingo: Introducing Seymour

We have wronged you, people. We have failed you. Yesterday we introduced the Fifth Generation Covid Briefing Bingo Card, and we left one of the squares totally obscure! We apologize: only the most dedicated of raincoaster followers, the fine print readers, would know what was meant by “Seymour.” Bottom right-hand square.

Allow me to introduce you to Seymour.

Say hi to Seymour!

Seymour is the little jade or soapstone or whatever, possibly extraterrestrial green stone sculpture of a lion or a bear or an idol of some undiscovered species of Great Old Ones-worshipping alien that may or may not have been brought to Earth æons ago when the wriggling forms of primitive, protean life squirmed their way out of the mire and stood or crawled in the light of the sun for the first time.

So, yeah. It looks like a Seymour to me. So Seymour it is.

Anyhoodle, here’s today’s video for today’s Covid Briefing Bingo, which we are doing live for the first time since we got sick like six weeks ago, but were told “Oh, it’s not covid” BUT I’M OVER THAT NOW!

Covid Briefing for October 23 featuring Justin Trudeau, Treasury Board President Jean-Yves Duclos, Intergovernmental Affairs Minister Dominic LeBlanc, and Public Services and Procurement Minister Anita Anand, as well as Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, the deputy chief public health officer.

Our previous bingo cards:

AND WE ARE OFF!

Check off “reporter sits in front row” and “Blue suit” and “Begins in French” for once, and also “Someone is present only on video” and BAM! Also “Vaccine.” Pretty good first 90 seconds. And ahem, more than one person was wearing “Blue or grey suit with brown shoes which is JUST MORALLY WRONG” so be sure to mark off that accursèd square.

And yet another “Finds a new way to give Canadians money” and “Names specific Canadian Businesses” and wow, also “Throat malfunction”. We’re going to get a row filled in today, I can just feel it! Oh yeah, there’s “Vaccines” again, and also “Drinks Water.”

And there’s “Gavi” from the second generation card. And “Refers to Dr. Tam” again, because she’s right there. Oh yay, we just hit the highest number of cases ever in one day. Soooooooper.

And now we are getting an explanation of how pandemics are, obviously, a social problem, and how following the advice of health experts can contribute to not only saving yourself from infection, but also stop the spread in its tracks. And how we damn well better.

A nice shout-out by Dr. Tam and Dr. Njoo to the Canadians working on fighting the virus through science. And lots and lots about “rapid testing” so mark that square on the Fifth Generation card.

At the 52 minute mark the sign language interpreters get swapped out. Do their hands get tired? That’s a square, so mark it off.

Now to the questions from the media: didn’t notice if there was a “drinks water” in the traditional place, but we got it earlier anyway. Ironically, first question, from APTN, about whether or not Trudeau’s government will meet its goal to lift boil water advisories on reservations by March 2021. And we get “Gosh, things are difficult, look at all we’ve done so far, Covid makes things hard, next question please.”

We do get the “Mentions a reporter by name” which is only fair, as they pretty much all call him either “Mister Trudeau” or “Mister Prime Minister” which, now that I think of it, must be very Freudian for him.

And there’s TorStar offering up the opportunity to give us the “Shades the US” square, but he just won’t do it today. The standard “What if the US goes all to hell on election day?” and the response is basically “Hey, they’ve been doing elections longer than almost anyone on Earth (hello, France) so we have faith they can do it this time.” Does Trudeau know something we don’t? Like that all those FSB hackers have defected and are living in a commune on Vancouver Island somewhere? OOH can you get me Phineas Fisher’s autograph?

That was a very half-hearted “Gesticulates” but it was a “Gesticulates” so mark that square off. Even if it’s thumbs-only, it still counts. Oh wait, now there’s some full-on gesticulation occurring. You can mark it off with a wide dabber now, instead of a narrow felt tip.

Haha, “Every step of the way” I thought we’d never hear that one again. I think that’s on the first generation bingo card.

Pretty awesome to hear more than one organization hammer the water quality on reservation question. Squeaky wheels and all that.

That said, I’m not sure “Okay you tried and failed, why should they trust you to get it right this time” is the narrative the Liberals would appreciate you pushing right now.

I don’t get the focus on rapid testing. The results are currently taking fewer than four days. Anyone can stay home for four days, no? Trudeau seems to agree, calling out “shiny new” things that people focus on, while the government has to ensure that they are both safe and effective before using them on Canadians.

Reporters are beginning to learn they have to say “with regards to this SPECIFIC example” otherwise Trudeau will generalize and macro-POV things till they are essentially meaningless, but comforting. And Trudeau’s out, putting on the mask so mark your “Maple Leaf Accessory” because we’re not going to give you that square every time there are flags present.

We’re not that easy.

So is that annoying little alert coming from my computer or CPAC or someone’s phone or what? Because it’s really fucking annoying. Aw, poopiecaca, and we do not say that lightly, it’s my headphones running out of juice. I may have to bail on this briefing prematurely. And I hate being premature.

Oh my god, have you ever seen anything more Canadian? Ministers complimenting one another on their fluency in the two official languages and being humble about their own abilities.

Okay, there’s your PPE square. I think that’s third generation card. And that’s it, my friends. I’ve got to bring the #Covid19 #BriefingBingo to a close because my headphones died so I can’t continue to use the laptop and The Roommate is watching his reruns and it’s his tv so as we all know the ownership of the means of entertainment (capitalists) are the dominant class (bourgeoisie). I won’t be booting him off the tv any time before The Revolution. And since there aren’t enough of me here to unionize (there’s only one of me, much to the relief of billions and the regret of a few. A happy few) that leaves me pretty much powerless.

See you next time, kittens.

Fabulous Fascists!

Prince is the KING of fashionable fascists

Prince is the KING of fashionable fascists

I forget who said it (when in doubt, blame Diana Vreeland) but it’s true: fascists have the best uniforms. Imagine what they could do if they really let themselves go!

They could do this. From Pseudonymous (for obvious reasons) Middle Eastern Internet Artist Saint Hoax comes the ultimate recipe for a dictator.

The recipe for an iconic queen:
1- Flamboyant name
2- Fierce persona
3- Defining outfits
4- Personalized hairdo
5- A trademark feature
6- One hell of a PR teamI then realized that it takes that same exact effort to make a leader.
A rush of images containing Hitler’s mustache, Bin laden’s headgear, Obama’s campaigns, Saddam’s narcism crossed through my mind. It got me thinking that behind every “great” man, there’s a queen.Like drag queens, political/religious leaders are expected to entertain, perform and occasionally lip-sync a public speech.
But unlike drag queens, the fame hungry leaders don’t know when to take their costumes off.

Hitleria Hysteria

Hitleria Hysteria

Queen Abby

Popette Benny Madame O'Sane Georgia Buchette Vladdy Pushin Ossie B Baricka O'Bisha Kimmy Jungle

OpFreeSnowden launches today

Snowden. Edward Snowden.

Snowden. Edward Snowden.

In an effort to bring greater awareness (if such a thing were possible) to the plight of now-stateless leaker Edward Snowden, Anonymous has announced #OpFreeSnowden, which takes the form of a Tweetstorm today, starting at 10am Pacific Standard Time. The stated objective, to “Take our PRIVACY BACK!” is clearly not going to be won by any action on Twitter, but in a propaganda war every little bit helps. The Tweetstorm package is designed and distributed in French and English, and signed by Anonym Hope and Anonymous Ekspct.

 

A scant handful of previous Anon-sponsored tweetstorms have been successful at trending globally, and with the widespread awareness of the Snowdon situation, this hashtag has as good a shot at the top as any Anonymous has ever launched. Clearly it will appeal only to those who support the ex-Booz Allen employee and his revelations of government spy programs, most famously PRISM and Tempora. There are no shortage of these; although surveys indicate the average American is content to give up the right to privacy for government surveillance, Americans also like a good David and Goliath story, and this one has one hell of a narrative.

 

EU nations banding together to pin the Bolivian ambassador’s plane and force it to land in Austria, on the off chance Snowden was aboard? No screenwriter would pen such a far-fetched scene. A marriage proposal from the most famous spy in the world? A legended white-haired hacker ensconced in an Ecuadorean embassy in deepest, darkest Knightsbridge, apparently pulling invisible strings? A flame-haired ingenue accompanying the leaker around the world and vanishing with him into the mysterious international zone at Moscow’s airport? And now, the internet’s most famous hacktivist hivemind, banding together to drive his name to the top of Twitter? Check, check, check and check.

 

The ground rules of a tweetstorm are simple: instead of retweeting the posts, you copy and paste them into your Tweet box, so that they seem to be original to you. Tweetstorms were developed in response to widespread Anonymous frustration that they could get hundreds of retweets but never, ever make it to the Trending list. With copy/pasting, they can. If you can’t think of anything to say but want to support the hashtag, they’ve already gone ahead and made up some tweets; some quotes from Snowden’s interviews, some simply statements of support. You’re allowed to make your own original tweets in a tweetstorm, the Tweetstorm Police won’t throw you off the hashtag, but the concept of repetition is important to the strategy: in marketing they say it takes nine exposures to make an impression, and Anonymous is counting on the power of repetition to get noticed.

 

What difference that makes to the fate of Edward Snowden, or the American people, remains to be seen. This is far from the last item in Anonymous’ bag of tricks.

Vince in the Bay Podcast: Disorderly Conduct – Hammond Plea Deal

Save Jeremy Hammond

Save Jeremy Hammond

Tonight I was a guest (one of a mob, really) on the Vince in the Bay radio podcast, talking about the Jeremy Hammond plea deal that was announced today.I didn’t do too badly, considering I haven’t slept since Sunday. Once again I think how nice it is to talk with people who don’t jump out of their skins when you talk about the coming revolution. Although it’s doubtful some of the more conservative people I work with will be thrilled to the very core of their beings at some of what I said. Take a listen to me, Vince, Subverzo, allshiny, Andrew “Panda” Blake, ShadowDXS, FuxNet, Hammurabis Code, Nicole Powers, Neal Rauhauser, and shokufeyesib.

[audio http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vinceinthebay/2013/05/29/disorderly-conduct–hammond-plea-deal.mp3]

If you want to see what the back row of the audience looks like at a podcast, you can scroll through the chatroom log. Enjoy?

On Margaret Thatcher

boudicca

boudicca

I haven’t exactly been circumspect on social media, but at last I put it all together in one  big, impassioned rant, so here it is. And it’s on Boris’s site, as is only fitting after he wrote an elegy suitable to any PR agency in the Midlands.

She was brave, principled, electric, greedy, malevolent, and destructive. So what does that net us? Damage that is still being repaired, or indeed glossed over, by governments on boths sides of the Atlantic.

Margaret Thatcher was not, like Ronald Reagan, an amiable person who could be pushed around. She was indeed the Iron Lady, but sometimes iron can be miscast. The future she fashioned for her country was one of increasing servitude to global, free-floating wealth. By now we know the only thing that trickles down is the blame, and I for one am not entire sure Thatcher wasn’t smart enough to know that all along.

Boris, I miss the days when you’d post something so partisan it was a simple straw dog, and I’d whack at it with all the strength I had. It was fun. Politically, it was good exercise.

But the ultimate fate of Thatcher is so much more important, for both sides, than any of those recreational battles, and yet you are not here. Enjoy the ivory tower, or the glass scrotum as it may be. But we both know that the reason she’s being cremated is so that the body won’t be dragged through the streets.