It's not easy being green

The Woody Covid Briefing Bingo

Good morning, possums, and welcome to the latest in our Completely Arbitrarily Named Briefing Bingos. There is a unifying concept, if a completely arbitrary one because everything is meaningless and nothing matters anymore, and also because the post needs a title in order to go live, but the title has to be chosen before the briefing happens because time is linear, but nobody has guessed it so far. The concept, not the nature of Time.

So far we have had:

Your guesses can go in the comment section for a chance to win fabulous, completely imaginary prizes. Nobody has even attempted this yet, but we’re getting to the point where there’s no excuse. Gonna get pretty obvious soon. Much like whether or not we’re getting an election this year.

It's not easy being green
It’s not easy being green

Here’s our video, starting fifteen minutes late today so you get to mark your “Starts more than ten minutes late” square right off the bat. 557 people watching right now. By 2pm that’s gotten up to 1500, but Fridays are always lower than Tuesdays for some reason. It’s not like people are off to the cottage on Fridays these days.

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Justin Trudeau's gratuitous ass shot. Let it not be said the LPC doesn't know how to give the people what they really want.

The Spanky Covid Briefing Bingo

Yes, it’s vulgar, our nomenclative choice today, but this is Populism! What do you expect? It’s all Buck A Beer and Aspirational Asses and Trendy Body Modifications and the like. Besides, with this particularly well-chosen camera angle from the Liberal Convention, how could we NOT use it? Yoga works. Never let it be said that the Liberal Party of Canada does not know how to give The People what they want.

Justin Trudeau's gratuitous ass shot. Let it not be said the LPC doesn't know how to give the people what they really want.
You can’t tell me that shot is about the delegates.

Optics, people. It’s a Whole Thing.

Anyhoodle, now that we’ve introduced our arbitrary framing device, let us get to the actual briefing and see if it’s Doug Ford who gets spanked today.

Here’s our video, with only 287 watching at the start, but 4,000 more an hour later. We here at raincoaster HQ take full credit, of course.

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined by Dominic LeBlanc (minister of intergovernmental affairs), Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.
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Robin by Christina Rollo

The Robin Covid Briefing Bingo

Spring, possums. Sprung, it hath. Yesterday Buddy the Dog and I saw no fewer than a dozen robins on our perambulations, which are somewhat abbreviated now that Buddy’s an elderdog and has got The Rheumatiz bad in the hippal region. I, you understand, am ageless and impervious and my Tylenol consumption is purely for recreational purposes, of course.

Anyway, here we are with yet another in our popular series of Mystery Nomenclature Theme briefings. To date we’ve had: Robin, Snooky, Muddy (how did we luck into a featured image like that? Luck was with us that day), Grumpy, Sparky, Heavy Metal, and Happy. A Happy Covid Briefing Bingo. Yes, possums, I almost didn’t believe it myself. That was a big vaccine news day. As is today, ah, but that would be telling! You must read on to get to the good stuff, including my favourite tie. And lots and lots of red and white.

Robin by Christina Rollo
American Robin by Christina Rollo

Here is the Trudeau And Co Power Hour broadcast from CPAC. Youtube suggested I watch the CBC version, but as you know, possums, I’m working on my French and CBC has those sweet federal dollars to hire someone to talk over the French bits and tell you basically exactly what was just said in English, but again and run through the translationifier for extra word salad goodness, so anyway, here’s our video:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He also comments on the death of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. The prime minister is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health), Anita Anand (public services and procurement), and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.

And our cards, and I guess if we’re gonna be doing these until September I can go ahead and create a new card after all. Thought we’d seen the last of these, but apparently not.

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The Snooky Covid Briefing Bingo

Welcome, possums!

Today is the sixth in our Mysterious Nomenclature Series: have you guessed the over-arching theme yet? We can give you this hint: it was chosen completely arbitrarily and has nothing whatsoever to do anything. Just like everything else this whole year.

  • Snooky
  • Muddy
  • Grumpy
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy

And here’s our actual video for the Zoolander And Co Show today:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.
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We all blame Trudeau

The Grumpy Covid Briefing Bingo

We’re a little annoyed this morning as our coffee is not ready yet, but here we go. Yep, still with our inscrutable Mystery Theme that’s been going for a few episodes so far. Guess it yet? We’ve had:

  • Grumpy (today)
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy
Erryday I’m grumblin’

Our video, with only 503 people watching:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Anita Anand (public services and procurement) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs).

And our Bingo cards, and no we didn’t do a new one. Not sure there’s much point as they’re doing fewer and fewer of these. Trudeau may blow them off entirely, which would be a huge mistake if you axe me, which of course you did not. The Covid briefings are basically his chance to remind Canadians of all the ways his government has looked after them, and position himself against whatever bloviating Erin “Outhouse” O’Toole and Jagmeet “What He Said” Singh have been up to lately. With an election essentially inevitable in months or weeks it would be foolish to give up this bully pulpit.

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