It's not easy being green

The Woody Covid Briefing Bingo

Good morning, possums, and welcome to the latest in our Completely Arbitrarily Named Briefing Bingos. There is a unifying concept, if a completely arbitrary one because everything is meaningless and nothing matters anymore, and also because the post needs a title in order to go live, but the title has to be chosen before the briefing happens because time is linear, but nobody has guessed it so far. The concept, not the nature of Time.

So far we have had:

Your guesses can go in the comment section for a chance to win fabulous, completely imaginary prizes. Nobody has even attempted this yet, but we’re getting to the point where there’s no excuse. Gonna get pretty obvious soon. Much like whether or not we’re getting an election this year.

It's not easy being green
It’s not easy being green

Here’s our video, starting fifteen minutes late today so you get to mark your “Starts more than ten minutes late” square right off the bat. 557 people watching right now. By 2pm that’s gotten up to 1500, but Fridays are always lower than Tuesdays for some reason. It’s not like people are off to the cottage on Fridays these days.

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Justin Trudeau's gratuitous ass shot. Let it not be said the LPC doesn't know how to give the people what they really want.

The Spanky Covid Briefing Bingo

Yes, it’s vulgar, our nomenclative choice today, but this is Populism! What do you expect? It’s all Buck A Beer and Aspirational Asses and Trendy Body Modifications and the like. Besides, with this particularly well-chosen camera angle from the Liberal Convention, how could we NOT use it? Yoga works. Never let it be said that the Liberal Party of Canada does not know how to give The People what they want.

Justin Trudeau's gratuitous ass shot. Let it not be said the LPC doesn't know how to give the people what they really want.
You can’t tell me that shot is about the delegates.

Optics, people. It’s a Whole Thing.

Anyhoodle, now that we’ve introduced our arbitrary framing device, let us get to the actual briefing and see if it’s Doug Ford who gets spanked today.

Here’s our video, with only 287 watching at the start, but 4,000 more an hour later. We here at raincoaster HQ take full credit, of course.

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined by Dominic LeBlanc (minister of intergovernmental affairs), Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.
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Robin by Christina Rollo

The Robin Covid Briefing Bingo

Spring, possums. Sprung, it hath. Yesterday Buddy the Dog and I saw no fewer than a dozen robins on our perambulations, which are somewhat abbreviated now that Buddy’s an elderdog and has got The Rheumatiz bad in the hippal region. I, you understand, am ageless and impervious and my Tylenol consumption is purely for recreational purposes, of course.

Anyway, here we are with yet another in our popular series of Mystery Nomenclature Theme briefings. To date we’ve had: Robin, Snooky, Muddy (how did we luck into a featured image like that? Luck was with us that day), Grumpy, Sparky, Heavy Metal, and Happy. A Happy Covid Briefing Bingo. Yes, possums, I almost didn’t believe it myself. That was a big vaccine news day. As is today, ah, but that would be telling! You must read on to get to the good stuff, including my favourite tie. And lots and lots of red and white.

Robin by Christina Rollo
American Robin by Christina Rollo

Here is the Trudeau And Co Power Hour broadcast from CPAC. Youtube suggested I watch the CBC version, but as you know, possums, I’m working on my French and CBC has those sweet federal dollars to hire someone to talk over the French bits and tell you basically exactly what was just said in English, but again and run through the translationifier for extra word salad goodness, so anyway, here’s our video:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He also comments on the death of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. The prime minister is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health), Anita Anand (public services and procurement), and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.

And our cards, and I guess if we’re gonna be doing these until September I can go ahead and create a new card after all. Thought we’d seen the last of these, but apparently not.

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The Snooky Covid Briefing Bingo

Welcome, possums!

Today is the sixth in our Mysterious Nomenclature Series: have you guessed the over-arching theme yet? We can give you this hint: it was chosen completely arbitrarily and has nothing whatsoever to do anything. Just like everything else this whole year.

  • Snooky
  • Muddy
  • Grumpy
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy

And here’s our actual video for the Zoolander And Co Show today:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.
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Don't quit your day job, lad!

The Muddy Covid Briefing Bingo

Yes, yet another in our mysterious, riddle-iffic series of oddly-named Covid-19 Briefings. So far we’ve had

  • Muddy (today)
  • Grumpy
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy

Guessed the connection yet?

Mud season is definitely here, as Buddy the dog and all the carpets in the house can confirm. Buddy is, of course, our Ottawa office manager, and he is supervising today’s briefing bingo from the luxurious confines of his corner office.

Buddy is VERY concerned about the thrombosis issue with the AstraZenica vaccine.

Mark your first square: Technical Difficulties, as my internet crapped out right off the get-go.

Our video is here:

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau provides an update in Ottawa on the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Anita Anand (public services and procurement), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer. The prime minister announces that Pfizer will move up its delivery of 5 million vaccine doses originally scheduled to arrive in late summer to June. Canada is now on track to receive 9.6 million doses of the Pfizer vaccine that month. Trudeau and the ministers also face questions on the new guidelines for the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine. Canada’s National Advisory Committee on Immunization (NACI) has modified its advice concerning the vaccine, recommending that it only be used on people over the age of 55. The recommendation comes following reports from Europe of rare but serious blood clots that have occurred after administration of the AstraZeneca vaccine.

And we’re off. Squares: facial hair, mask, vaccines, Somebody’s In A Good Mood Today (not a square, but should be). And Begins In English and Vocal Malfunction or whatever I called that square too. And AstraZenica. Blue Suit square too. We never do find out what colour the shoes are, because the camera operator cuts off the exiting shot at the knees. Very clever. VERY CLEVER. I see what you did there.

“Got your backs” as we knew would be here. And now we have Pfizer and Moderna as well. Speaking of which, someone’s put what they claim is the full mRNA sequence of the Moderna vaccine up on Github. Could be poodle sperg for all I know, don’t even have time to look, but here’s your link. Enjoy? Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya!

Oh shoot me, a Facebook Live event. SOME OF US ARE PERMABANNED YOU KNOW, a brand new kind of marginalization. Cut off from Federal government Covid info sessions because they’re done on a privately-owned platform instead of done on a government website first and ALSO streamed to the privately-owned platform. Fine. Whatever. Nobody listens to me.

And our cards are here:

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