We’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us, Possums? We missed you too. If we could, we’d buy each of you a copy of Iyanla Vanzant’s book In The Meantime, because that’s very much where we are: after an election, but before Parliament gets back to work.
We’ve got a full house down on Wellington Street, so mark your “Reporter sits in the front row” square. Either the political reportage class of Canada is deathly bored after an election OR they suspect big news. We’re back at the Soon-To-Be-Renamed-If-I’m-Any-Guesser Sir John A. MacDonald building, so I guess even the nomenclature is liminal today.
Here’s our video, Possums. As usual, from CPAC, with a walloping 427 people watching. The reporters got quite the lecture from some young guy in jeans, to which they paid more attention than reporters pay most people, so it must have been important, but the sound was off. C’mon, CPAC, we want our inside scoop!
Hacktivism lost a legend when it was discovered yesterday that crusading defence attorney Jay Leiderman had died at the age of only 50. Of him it can truly be said that he lived while he was alive.
Leiderman, an ebullient Ventura-based bon vivant and raconteur of the old school, represented everyone from Barrett Brown to the Paypal 14, often pro bono. The Maserati-driving whiskey enthusiast and Deadhead made his money fighting for medical marijuana in court, although he personally preferred good cigars to weed.
Let’s get straight into it, because as usual I’ve left the blogging to the last minute. So here’s our video of the PM visiting the GG to ask her to dissolve Parliament (which is on vacation anyway) and call an election. Two days ago the Conservatives released a Not Officially Campaign Video on Twitter, one which was greeted with enthusiasm and relief. By everyone who opposes the Conservative Party. Because that thing is a mortifying clusterfuck. An expensive, mortifying clusterfuck produced by pricy foreign consultants that got ratioed all to hell on Twitter.
And yesterday the Liberal campaign ad leaked or was handed to FactPointVideo (whoever they are) and posted on YouTube:
Oh oops, was he not supposed to do that? Was that bad?
Hey, mark your “Got your backs” square already! Shall we get into it? Let’s get into it, Possums.
No new Bingo cards for today, but we’ve got ten already from our Covid Briefing Bingo, so let’s use them.
Here is our video, with only 173 people watching. It’s not even the first day of the election and it seems like people are OVER it.
We’re here, we’re caffeinated, and we’re doing this, Possums. Today is the investiture of the new Governor-General, who is NOT me (despite my second-best-impaired-by-Long-Covid efforts). It is Mary Simon, who, unlike me, is actually qualified for the job.
So, Possums, here we are again. Justin Trudeau has jettisoned the Covid-specific Briefings in favour of popping up all over the country, announcing huge federal investments in the local economy, affordable childcare, and offering to walk your dog and cut your lawn, all of which can’t possibly be motivated by hopes of winning your vote, because he hasn’t called an election yet.
Or rather, since he’s got a minority government, the NDP and CPC would rather die than give him an election at the present time, he hasn’t been ABLE to call an election yet, really.
A very smart person I know said the inevitable election will be October 10, because new MPs won’t be vested in their pensions until October 9, and they would NEVER support a party leader who risked their pensions just because he had a 25-point lead on the nearest competitor.
Time, Possums. It will tell. It’s certainly unlikely until Parliament reconvenes, which isn’t until September. God knows, those cottages need an airing-out after all this time away from them. Ch’yeah, like they haven’t been going all this time. Meanwhile I’ve been sitting in the same chair in the same room since March of last year.
For this first iteration of Non-Election Election Bingo, we’ll be using the old Covid Briefing Bingo cards, so there’s not much of a learning curve. Once I figure out how to edit a PDF I’ll make some non-election-specific cards, but that day, it is not this day. I know you, you can roll with this.
So here is our video, CPAC willing. They were getting a little erratic, towards the end of the Trudeau Covid briefings. French narration over top of the PM talking, audio dropping, not getting the placeholder for the livestream up in time. We shall see. It adds an element of suspense to an otherwise predictable appearance in Brampton, Ontario, that global hub of intrigue and danger.
Aha, here we are, 45 minutes late. Did he like, walk there or something? Let’s do this. Let us do this motherfucking thing.