Daily Briefing Bingo Edition 2.0

PM Zoolander rides a moose. As one does.

PM Zoolander rides a moose as one does.

If you’re new to Daily Briefing Bingo, check out Daily Briefing Bingo Edition 1.0 and get your first-edition Daily Briefing Bingo card. From this point onward, you can play either or both cards from this point onward.

The first edition card does not have any completed lines yet, but here’s hoping! Come on, Ascot! Come on, Jeans! Come on, Blue Steel! Sadly, second column is a complete skunk, with not a single box ticked at this point. Ou est le blue plaid jacket d’antan?

Here’s the Daily Briefing Bingo Card Edition 2.0. It’s a PDF, so if you’ve got the right software you download and play with it on the computer, or you can print it out and mark it up in meatspace, rollin’ old skool.

Moving forward, from this point on, our new reality is (sorrynotsorry) squares featuring appearances by a diverse cast of characters and phrases including international vaccine alliance GAVI, visible perspiration, porchscaping, “Ramping up”, “The new normal”, “Who we are”, and the highly controversial Wears brown shoes with a grey or blue suit, which is JUST MORALLY WRONG.

Remember to play safe, and maintain good social distancing and mask hygiene while playing, and to never, and I mean never, speak moistly.

 

 

Daily Briefing Bingo: The Canadian Content You Didn’t Know You Needed

Hey Girl from Whaaat Studio?

Hey Girl, do you want a robust social safety net? I got you.

But you totally DO need it, you know?

Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest challenge faced by contemporary news organizations (besides rapacious owners; don’t get me started) is that of enticing readers, listeners, watchers, away from the never-ending stream of infotainment which surrounds us. Never mind getting them to actually pay attention to the news.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have, at long last and at uncounted expense, solved that problem. I mean, it didn’t cost me anything, but I also didn’t count it, so … that.

The solution? We can finally reveal it:

Bingo cards.

 

 

 

 

Oh, come on. You’ve been on Twitter. You know how this works. You know this works. You’ve played this, don’t pretend that you haven’t. We’ve taken the old jokey cultural trope bingo game and updated it, giving an entire nation a reason (finally!) to skip out on this “work from home” nonsense (these crazy kids and their crazy ideas to integrate work and life in a holistic, effortless, and sustainable way, pssssshhhhhhh, whatever) and tune in to the daily briefing on the Covid-19 crisis from Prime Minister Zoolander Trudeau.

And yes, we know contemporary audiences have short attention spans, so we’ve built a few tricks into this most competitive of game boards. In order to complete your board, you’ll have to watch on multiple days. Yes, we are just that hardass around these parts.

Enough prelude, on to the downloadable game board. Yes, there can be only one.

You can print it out or just edit the PDF as you go along, and play along live on Twitter (follow @raincoaster, who will be calling out the squares live unless she {I} sleep[s] in again) and the Canadian tv network of your choice or YouTube at 11am EST each weekday.

Tony Blair Speaks Truth to Power!

Tony Blair says How YOU doin?

Tony Blair says How YOU doin?

Here is My Imaginary Boytoy and also apparently Wendi Deng‘s, former British PM Tony Blair, aka bLIAR, speaking the absolute, literal truth for once in his goddam life, with a little help from remix artist Cassetteboy. The peace broker was risking all to deliver a desperate address to the hastily-gathered rebel alliance at the beating heart of the fabled Bloomberg empire, its London HQ. Oh, who am I kidding? He was there for the paycheck.

 

My political compass doesn’t point north

Political Compass graph

Political Compass graph

Well, that sounds about right. According to the Political Compass Test I’m lefter and more anarchal than the Dalai Lama, but then if I headed up a country and was worshipped as a living god, it’s hard to see how I would be able to resist the temptation to, you know, believe them a little bit. Of my hacker/Anonymous friends who have taken this, I’m the most authoritarian and also the most leftist. As Disconnect on Facebook said, “To be fair you are only an authoritarian compared to rest of us anarchists.. You are the most anarchist authoritarian on the planet and the most authoritarian anarchist in the room.”

I'm not quite as lefty as Stalin, it says. But Stalin was a fascist.

I’m not quite as lefty as Stalin, it says. But Stalin was a fascist.

And what are you?