The Kiddy Covid Briefing Bingo

Good afternoon, Possums. We were so busy doing taxes this morning that we didn’t even think to cover the Covid briefing. We didn’t even think to check if there was one, although there always is on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Possums, there was. And here it is. Action begins at the 23 minute mark, so right off the bat tick your “Begins more than ten minutes late” square:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), Anita Anand (procurement) and Bill Blair (public safety), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer. The previous day, the government announced that the Canadian Armed Forces will deploy medical personnel to Ontario, where hospital resources are being taxed by a surge in cases of COVID-19. The deployment of personnel comes following a formal request by the Ontario government.
Ella-Grace and Justin Trudeau from
I’m assuming this was Bring Our Daughters to Work Day

And here are our cards:

And, if you’re still trying to guess our Overarching Narrative Theme or Device, we have had:

We are NOT going to give up on it until somebody guesses, and there’s enough material to keep us going right through the end of the year, so someone out there better step up. If this pandemic lasts all year, do you really want that on your head? Think of the karmic burden!

Anyhoodle, mark your “someone appears via video” and “Reporter sits in the front row” squares too. Oh, and we’ve got the “Dr. Njoo isn’t wearing glasses” square as well. Look at all those perfectly-arranged flags. Whose actual job is that? Someone gets paid to do that. I wonder if that’s all they do, like the guy whose only job is to replace burnt out light bulbs in the Empire State Building. Eh, it’s a living. Would you want PM Zoolander’s job this year of all years? I very much think not.

Some people do, though.

It’s that damn contentious blue-grey suit again. I can’t decide, and I’ll never see it in person, so just mark BOTH your blue and grey suit squares. Sigh. And mark “Mask” “Maple leaf accessory” and “Facial hair” squares as well. Tie colour should be a square on the next card, which we are already working on. Next month will be the one-year anniversary of the very first Covid Briefing Bingo on the ol’ raincoaster blog. I hope we don’t see two.

Imagine doing your suit button up to walk from one chair in a room to the other chair in the other room, then undoing it when you sit down. Our society, odd it is.

Mark your “Begins in French” and look at the way he orders everything on the desk, as if the fate of nations hangs in the balance. You live long enough in a pandemic, or a bad parental marriage, you get careful. You get painstaking. Somebody explained that kind of marriage as “too many lions, not enough Christians.” BIG personalities bumping up against one another.

In trivia news I see the hair is approaching “Korean boy band” territory again. Time for a corrective snip.

Altho I prefer the female KPop, particularly CL with her (is it second or is it fourth) wave Feminism.

And also I have the hair colour I do because of her “Hello Bitches” video. If only I could dance that well.

Trudeau is talking about Emily, so mark your “Specific Canadian mentioned” and “feels parents’ pain” squares, which he really does you know, and take a moment to think about this. Mark your “Third wave” square and “Doug Ford” square and “Armed Forces” square because yes, Trudeau is sending in the forces because Ford is just over in the corner waving his tiny dino arms and saying “we can do nothing” and after last weekend Trudeau knows damn well Ford isn’t going to raise a stink about him doing whatever he wants in the province he actually lives in.

Why anyone, ANYONE would choose to live in Ottawa rather than Montreal, I do not know. I mean, have you been? Sure, PM is a good job, but c’mon. You’ve gotta live in Ottawa.

It’s time for a re-watch of that cinematic classic, The Abominable Doctor Phibes. In its own way, a movie about plagues.

“Pushes responsibility to provinces” is active. And pushes with extreme “we didn’t need to be here” fatigue, too. And he suggests that he might move into Alberta as well. “Keep Canadians safe” is I think a square? God knows it’s hard enough to to keep track of 9 different cars of 24 different bingo squares, but I think “keeping Canadians safe” is one.

And there you go, “Have your back” square active, and “Vaccines.” Mark “Pfizer” and “Johnson and johnson” and “AstraZeneca” and if he feels particularly perky after his shot, that’s a good indicator he had undiagnosed Covid-19 last year.

I’ve literally never seen an “Address to Generation X” but here it is.

And there’s your “Into arms” square. And now we’re on to the “donates to India” part of the speech and mark “PPE” and once again Trudeau is stanning for the Red Cross (which needs to be a square) as if it were a branch of government which, let’s just do this, shall we? Mark “Foreshadows an announcement by another specific person mentioned” and also the “chevelure deteriorates over the briefing” which will be a square in the tenth generation square when we get it done.

And now this talk about the budget qualifies as “Finds new way to give Canadians money” and as a feminine-Canadian I need to come back to that and research all the ways they’ve offered me money. And there’s your “$10 a day daycare” square which isn’t one yet but will be.

Is “Bill” French?

Mark “Technical difficulties” for Blair’s scrambling. Blair’s speech was a damn good one. Full of info, inspirational. Dunno if he writes his own or his comms person is to be credited, but they are always great.

AHA! At last we get to mark the square for “Dr. Tam’s red and black jacket” which we haven’t seen in literal months. So. Do that. I gotta tell you everything?

25% of Covid patients are in ICUs.

I conclude all phonecalls these days with “stay safe.” and almost brought a customer service rep to tears with that closing today. Customer service people have Seen Some Shit this year. Tam is giving you a whole lesson on how vaccines work and how many lives they save.

Now we’re on to the questions. Mark “Drinks water”.

Way too on the nose, this tweet.

Mark your “Pen fidgets” square on the 9th gen card. He’s anticipating a fraught questioning.

Tonda up first, having apparently won the arm-wrestling match against Le Devoir that used to have a lock on that position. And it’s scary enough Trudeau makes a note of it. I wonder why. We are both too much in his head and not enough, and welcome to celebrity-lensed political coverage. I bet the minute the pandemic is completely licked Trudeau gets rid of the beard.

Her question is about Ford’s gerrymandered “solution” to sick leave: rather than just guaranteeing sick leave, he’s trying to push it off on the federal government.

Trudeau responds that there’s a federal sick leave program brought in “many months ago” and if “Shades provinces” were a square you could mark it. Mark “We have your backs” again. We also get multiple “straightens papers” squares which isn’t one yet but will be.

“From the very beginning” square, “Have your backs” as well. And somehow we are on to French and mark your “sign language interpreters swapped out.”

We need a “Telford” square. Mark your “every step of the way” again, which is one short of a bingo.

“Every step of the way” again which is, I believe, a bingo.

Dr. Njoo looks so fucking over it. Whatever It is. Anand looks sharp as always and wins the backdrop wars handily. She’s wearing Liberal red and white today. Is “PHAC” a square?

That reporter who repeated their question in English for Dr. Tam gets bonus points. Reporter, mark whatever square you need for a Bingo.

Everyone mark “Donc”.

I heard Telford was trying to starve the reporters by supplying only cuke and carrot stix at the press conferences. She doesn’t know protein is the way to our hearts.

Now Annie Bergeron-Oliver with a question about how one dose vs two doses. Tam replies that not only does it convey help, it also means if you do get infected you’ll be protected and it’ll be shorter duration.

Meanwhile in Aylmer:

“Twinkleface” square.

And in other news:

And we’re out.

Meekrow wayvee.


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