Here’s the real secret, folks:
Sometimes New Agers can be real assholes, and the worst thing is, they float through life, wittering happily about scheduling their acupuncture according to the phases of the Jupiter’s moons, oblivious to the damage they cause, high on vast, expensive pharmacopaeas of anti-depressants and “herbs” and the fumes of rare jasmine and patchouli. And if you address their asshollery, they tell you you’re “attracting negativity by being negative” but it never once occurs to them that they, themselves, could be that negativity. I’m recycling this from the comments over at Aaron Swartz’s blog, because it deserves a wider audience, I think.
I had cancer once, a long time ago, and a friend of mine who’d come over for a “cheer me up” visit looked me in the eyes and asked, “What have you done to bring this into your life?”
I paused a moment and said, “Do you mean what have I done to bring into my life people who could ask such a question of a cancer patient?”
Yeah, I don’t see her so much anymore.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
raincoaster 
For some reason, New Age makes me think of this.
The whole New Age movement seems to me to be a load of something you recently described as smoothie green (and I kinda wish you hadn’t, really, the Shamrock Shake has totally lost its charm).
A devotee I knew once suggested that I “give my issue (not ‘problem’) to the Universe”.
I explained that I figured the Universe had actually given me the “issue” to begin with, and that I find it much more satisfying to take out my problems on the people who cause them. ‘Cos that’s my karma, my fate, and my weird.
She now hangs out with people she finds (her words) “less challenging” of her beliefs.
Yes, there’s nothing as bitterly fascist as the orthodoxy of the selfconsciously unorthodox, eh?
I think, if I’d visited a friend with or without cancer, the sequence of words would have been: ” Hey, howya doin? Can I get something for ya? Look on the bright side – you ain’t Paris Hilton.”
Oh no….I am lying in bed switching back and forth between your blog and some new age Messages from Michael essays. OOOPS.
http://summerjoy.com/
Well, maybe it’s a sign I should save my money. I was going to get a reading done by him!
Speechless from Metro’s link…
Well, maybe I shouldn’t say it here but I’m sort of into the new-agey stuff.
But I don’t think I’d ever say that to a anyone recovering from cancer! Not til waaay later.
I like this comment:
You amateur skeptics crack me up. I’ve got two pieces of evidence that the book must be telling the truth: 1) The author wanted to have a bestseller. CHECK. 2) The author wanted to be rich. CHECK.
I do believe there is some merit to this book – I mean, it’s all about attitude and sending out the right vibes. Even if you didn’t think it’d actually work, why not strive for it anyway? People will be attracted to your positivity and doors will naturally open.
Works for me.
The question is, do you really need to shell out thirty bucks for someone to tell you that in hardcover?
Metro you are so level headed.
what’s the difference between a new-ager and a pagan? about $75,000 a year.
naomi, that is BRILLIANT! Fucking quote of the day, that one.
I, too, am rather New Agey; all you have to do is check out the other blog to see that. But I believe in skepticism, particularly towards orthodoxies, particularly towards ones that allow or encourage their members towards cruelty and narcissism. Those don’t make the world a better place. I believe there’s merit in manifestation, but it’s like momo says (see http://runningthroughrain.wordpress.com for more momo); it’s not about sitting around imagining things. It’s about getting yourself inspired enough to go out and bring things into your life. That’s a different perspective.
The cybergypsy offered to show me The Secret, and maybe I’ll ask for it for my birthday (along with a DVD player so I can watch the damn thing). I don’t mind reading it, but I am skeptical towards “one bandaid fits all” solutions.
Re. Stilletto’s comment . . .
“I mean, it’s all about attitude and sending out the right vibes. ”
At the risk of being looked at with skepticism given my record as an agnostic and less-than-religious person, isn’t the Sermon on the Mount ultimately about the same two things? And it’s free.
And you get filet-o-fish sandwiches when you listen to Jesus! Right? Or was that another sermon?
I prefer steak or bruschetta on Fridays myself. I generally detest the New Age publishing industry because they tend to recycle and/or mix millenia of wisdom into a a tepid, feel-good, tasteless smoothie.
And in my view, crystals have the following uses – they’re a girl’s best friend; they have many industrial abrasive/cutting applications; they focus lasers rather well; and they’re generally decorative except in the cases of gallstones and kidney stones.
We already have a device for focusing mental energy – it’s called a brain. Anyone doubting that issue need only refer to Stephen Hawking.
And Yanni bores me to tears.
@Stiletta:
Only ‘cos the top’s flat.
@Fronty:
Actually, the Sermon on the Mount is where Jesus defined what it took to be a Christian. Oddly though, most of them seem to have forgotten the important bits:
Blessed are the peacemakers; for e.g.
Judge not, that you may not be judged.
Oh, and the bit about “love thy neighbour.”
Fortunately, it seems New Age has no such requirements, unless you want it to.
It’s odd, but I don’t see a lot of doctrines, be it NA, Christianity, or pretty much anything else, in which people wind up doing stuff they really don’t want to do.
Except poor old Ted Haggard I guess.
Sorry, Fronty. Wasn’t quite clear. Christianity as defined in the SotM calls a person to a new relationship not only with God, but with one’s fellow man (or woman); rather than the Universe.
Also, the New Age universe appears to be a warm fuzzy place rather than a dark, mostly cold and empty one. And most importantly it offers no judgements, as God does.
What’s funny about this is, New Age per se is passe, although the movement has never had more prominence or been more mainstream.
Did y’all know that Arianna Huffington is a proper Minister? Movement for Spritual Inner Awareness I think it’s called, Jon-Roger’s people. Apparently she used to bore people to tears with her lectures, which were disguised as dinner parties. It was Scientology for the social climbing set. Not as cool or insane as Freddy Whatsisname, who preyed on all those models and sold them gems, but still out there.
Confession: I am reading Marianne Williamson right now, and did get a lot out of Iyanla Vanzandt, even if that rebirthing stuff was all like icky and shit.
I still remember the Huffington christening party from Doonesbury, back when J-R was running for office:
“I christen thee … Samantha-Roger Moonball!”
Huffington Post seems a lot more sensible.
Geez … life imitates blog. I crawled from my basement lair at work to the caf. While I was purchasing the only-slighty-overpriced quasi-instant from the machine that sounds like an espresso producer, a co-worker engaged me in what I thought was casual conversation.
I rather like her. She’s a cancer survivor three times over and the only person I know who’s ever had the pilot say to the passengers “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re in deep shit–sorry–trouble.” So I like talking to her.
Today she talked around health and attitudes. I mentioned that I feel a certain amount of bitter anger and self-indulgent sulking are almost certainly good for you. Whereupon she said:
“I’ve been reading this really terrific book about that kind of thing … I’m getting the DVD. You should read it.”
With sinking heart I asked the title. Reluctant to reveal her level of buy-in she played coy until finally I wormed it from her evangelising lips: The Secret.
“No thanks,” I said “I’ll just re-read The Celestine Prophecy.”
I was lying. I wouldn’t re-read that heap of dodo droppings at gunpoint. But I think the Universe likes it when I lie to avoid telling people unpleasant truths–or any truth at all.
Anyway, I know the Universe likes it when I lie to the Tax Man because so far I haven’t attracted an audit by thinking about it …
$#!7!
Gotta go … there’s an auditor at the door.
Sorry–I meant “I wouldn’t finish that … dodo droppings … etc. etc.”
Thank you for making my point, Metro – SotM is about interacting with the universe in the most basic, relevant way a human can – without mysticism, crystals or warm and fuzzy energy, but with a strong dose of personal responsibility for one’s actions.
As is momo. Seriously, you guys checked that shit out yet? I’m all about the momo lately…does that make me a Momoonie?
The Secret! Yes, yes, I believe now! Today I wished for money and I got it in like, a few hours!
Shit! Why didn’t I ask for fifty grand?
Okay, can you wish that RAINCOASTER gets money now? Also some of that pear vodka. That would be nice.
I should have some sort of inane blog contest and the winner gets pear vodka. I’ll even pay for shipping unless you can’t wait to start drinking then you will have to pay for your own fed ex!
Yes, I will wish money for you, right before I go to bed and try to uncover the whereabouts of Natalee Holloway’s body again.
Oooh, I’ll be up for that one! You can have Natalee Holloway’s dead body if I get the vodka. Don’t drink before bedtime because I do NOT want you to get those two mixed up, okay?
Lookie, I found an unironic article about failure: drop all expectations and you’ll never fail, yay!
http://www.mindreality.com/manifest-desires-freely-by-having-no-expectations
Heyyyy! I just said this tonight to Uncle K. Perhaps that tripped his nerves and compelled him to break open the checkbook.
Maybe. Your Uncle K is beginning to freak me out.
Really? How come?
He’s always around when you’re talking about Holloway, for one thing. Also, you write about him with this big, vague forboding. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it.
You mean he’s going to go postal on me and kill us both?
I’ve often pondered whether he’d do something stupid like that so we’d be together forever but he’s divorced with kids and loves them although they are leaving for college soon and maybe he’ll feel really lonely….oh this is not good.
Anyway, I forgot to dream some money for you but I did dream about Puff Daddy and George Clooney so there was no room to think abut any philanthropic stuff.
BTW, Typepad allows a tip jar on the side of your blog. Perhaps you should post one up?
Oh, and I thought of you here – next time you need votes for best blog:
http://www.nee-antwerpen.be/index-eng.htm
Hey where did my comment go?
I’ll look for it in spam. Akismet is being retentive lately.
Ah, thanks. That should work, too. I’m up for an award somewhere, but I can’t actually remember where now…I should probably dig it out, this one’s not as cheesy as the last one, although yet again there’s no cash involved.