I won’t be gentle.

Now, there’s a first time for all of us. Several, come to think of it: first word, first steps, first date, first kiss, first…you get the idea.

First pub crawl. Yes, first Friday night out in the big city with your buddies, looking for some hot urban action.

How not to do it? This way:

Shortish, black-clad male twentysomething, coming out of Earl’s* with other short, black-clad male twentysomethings.

He says, “Awwwright! Now let’s hit The Keg*!”

*American readers, please substitute Benihana and TGIFriday‘s for Earl’s and The Keg. British readers, you have no equivalents. Count yourselves lucky.