Just because it's Friday and I found this on Fark.

Calgary broker fired over prostitute felt unappreciated

CALGARY — A vice-president with RBC Dominion Securities who was fired for bringing a prostitute to his office after hours testified Thursday that he felt his job security was waning despite the fact he was one of the firm's top performers. "I had a different business model,'' said Jim Whitehouse, who is suing his former employer. "I felt that even though I was one of the top producers, I was not appreciated within the organization.''

Given that they fired his inflamed, sorry ass, he's probably right.

So there was this cop story. It's true, too. Cop stories are great; they're always really bleak, usually with a wicked twist at the end. Cops and Shirley Jackson tell the same kind of stories, only theirs feature perps, tweaks and hookers and hers feature young children and townspeople. Hard to decide which is the more terrifying sometimes.

So there was this cop story. And it goes like this:

So there was this guy, pulled over on Nelson and Homer. Yaletown. It was Yaletown.

The guy is yelling at a hooker, the hooker is yelling at the guy. It's a Jaguar. I told you it was Yaletown.

I get up to the two of them, ask them what's going on. The girl is real upset. So is the Yuppie. Seems he stiffed her, ha ha, no, he really stiffed her.

"It's twenty-five bucks for head, and I gave it to him and now he won't pay me."

I don't like to take sides in these matters, but something about this guy just got up my nostrils.

"C'mon," I said to him. "Pay the lady her twenty-five bucks. Your socks cost more than that."

He gets all outraged. He says, "These socks cost seventy-five dollars! They're cashmere."

So I gave him a choice. He could pay up or he could go for a ride downtown with me.

Forget it, Jake. It's Yaletown.