Heartlessly stolen from raj. Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1)  When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2)  When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3)  When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.

4)  When you are scared — I will try to calm your nerves, unless it is something silly then I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5)  When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6)  When you are confused — I will use little words.

7)  When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.  I don't want whatever you have.

8)  When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass,  but then I will help you get up.

9)  This is my oath……I pledge it to the end.  "Why?"  you may ask; "because you are my friend."

Friendship is like peeing your pants — everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.