Boris isn’t the only one who’s cranky in the heat. Check out this instant-classic rant from Tom Ferrick Jr, a Philadephia reporter. 

 4. Whatever you do, don’t sit in a room with the windows closed, wearing wool clothing and drinking beer. It is a recipe for disaster. At the very least, wear something that is light and loose fitting. A bedsheet will do.

For those of us in the news biz, there is only one thing more exciting than heat. It is record heat.

For record heat, we will remake the front page and use Pearl Harbor-sized type and write headlines that say:

Record Heat Scorches Region!

We will then proceed to tell you that it was hot yesterday.

Television has us beat. It can tell you that it was hot today.

Here are some more helpful hints:

5. Don’t watch television. Watching those TV reporters standing in front of the cameras will only make you hotter.

6. Buy two newspapers. Read one and use the other to fan yourself. It will help alleviate the heat. This is especially true if you insist on sitting in a closed room, wearing a bedsheet and drinking beer.