A drunken Australian tourist, wandering the streets of our fair city (specifically The Drive) and suddenly going bladder-critical, decided that, rather than simply pee off the bridge to the railway lines 100 feet below like a thousand drunkards before him, he’d better climb up on top of the cagework surrounding the bridge and ascend a tree, presumably to pee therefrom onto the selfsame railway lines, now 200 feet below.

The cages went up a few years ago, after a fellow drunkard took a fatal dive off the bridge during … was it Greek Days or Caribbean Days? In any case, they are now holding their festivals farther north on The Drive, and prudently well away from anything bridge-like. But apparently, there is no deterring a drunken Aussie.

Tenacious isn’t the word.

Emergency officials say the man broke at least one bone, but will be OK, as branches slowed his fall.

Vancouver fire department Capt. Rick Matsen says it was obvious the man had been drinking until just moments before his fall.

“Well, it just so happens he had a beer with him when he was brought up,” he said.

“Still in his hands?” asked a reporter.

“Still in his hands, yup. He held on to it pretty tight, I’m thinking,” said Matsen.