You know, there are some jobs that just don’t pay enough. Iain Dale thinks being a British MP should entitle one to a cool hundred thousand a year, but name me one MP who routinely gets peed on (Oaten‘s not still an MP, is he?) as well as screamed at, and who is forced to wear such ridiculous and overheated gear. If they made them dress funny, THEN it might be worth paying them more. I think Bozo outfits would be appropriate, don’t you? The Brits only make lawyers dress up like that nowadays, and I am sure the opportunity to dress like a relatively sane member of society circa 1986 is what attracts so many lawyers to the service of their country through politics.

Yeah, that’s what it is.

In any case, looming large among jobs you couldn’t pay me enough to do is this: Shopping Mall Santa.

And why? Let’s examine this Chicago Tribune slideshow of over 60 photos dating back to the Fifties. It’s entitled Scared of Santa, and for obvious reasons. Enjoy.

As for me and my sibling-unit, the only time we had such an incident was one time my sister, a mere toddler in a velvet miniskirt, misunderstood the way the deal worked and demanded her present before she would leave Santa‘s lap. This was, naturally, refused. Through the sonic firestorm that ensued, my father had difficulty making the actual terms understood, and finally resorted to the old trick of picking up something shiny and throwing it off-camera, so she’d scamper off in pursuit. Worked like the proverbial charm, of course, as Santa and I exchanged confidential winks.

To this day I understand that she treasures this length of tinsel, but I do not believe that her appreciation of it at the moment of gifting was as great as Santa‘s, my father’s, or, indeed, my own.

Look! It’s V for Santa! She must be a fascist!

Watch out, fatman; she’s got a mean left hook!

and sometimes it’s simply unanimous!

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Technorati me!