Tell me I’m not into service journalism! Puh-leeze, I’m all about the service pieces, and here’s one of the most useful I’ve come across: How to decode women’s personal ads. The world does not need “how to decode men’s personal ads” because they all translate into “if you show up, I will fuck you.” Duh.

Stolen from the manic manicurist (bonus points for cool blog name!)

1. 40-ish……………………………49 to 59.
2. Adventurous…………………..Slept with everyone.
3. Athletic…………………………. No Hooters.
4. Average looking…………….Moooo.
5. Beautiful……………………….. Pathological liar.
6. Emotionally Secure………..On medication.

etc. I expect my UK friends to have much fun with this. Just assume it was written by Edwina Currie and it will all make perfect sense. And, in an ironic way, that holds true even for those of us who exist outside that particular bubble.