why saving daylight costs lives

Zombie rage

Because not all of us are morning people, GODDAMMIT!!!

Daylight.

Fucking.

Savings.

I want to find out who invented this, then I want to find out where he’s buried, then I want to go there and dig him up, and then I want to beat him to a fine puree using no instrument of greater delicacy than a frozen musk-ox foreleg. And if he’s not dead, I want to strangle and bury him first.

Signed,
Not A Fucking Morning Person, GODDAMMIT, all right, you motherfuckers!!!

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17 thoughts on “why saving daylight costs lives

  1. Don’t hold back, honey, tell us how you really feel.

    You could probably tolerate mornings better if you weren’t getting that healthy cathode-ray tan all night long.

    Did I tell you that to get free plonk chez Metro you have to get up at 6:30 AM? It’s a time that happens every day before noon.

  2. I am not a morning person.
    If I get up early at 6:00 AM and if I get a quiet hour alone, I’m sunny and bright.
    But if anyone expects me communicate with them or do anything for them during my quiet hour, I shapeshift and they find themselves coping with a wolverine.

  3. I’m one of those really annoying happy morning people but I still find this clock changing thing a pain. And just because the US decides to change 3 weeks earlier Canada has to do the same?

  4. The teddy has fangs you just would not believe. Do not mess with the teddy.

    I thought Daylight Savings Time was from back when kids had to help out on the farm or something. If it has any practical utility whatsoever it is lost to me. Its only function is, twice a year, to let organized people lord it over everyone else when they and they alone are on time.

  5. erm? what’s the gripe?

    DST puts extra light at the END of the day, which for a serious non-morning person, translates as an extra hour of dark in the AM in which to continue sleeping undisturbed in darkful bliss

  6. Maybe, but it’s irrelevant. I can sleep in the daytime easily; it’s what God invented beaches for, right? The key fact is that it makes me wake up an hour early for a completely arbitrary reason.

    And this does not take me to my happy place.

  7. I think after her husband cheated on her again she took all his money and went to retire in some bigass mcmansion in Florida or something. She looks like that’s what she’d do.

    I would love to have Kelly Ripa’s face and hair, but god forbid I get that personality. Or those microtits. In fairness to Kathie Lee, after she left the show she was on a Canadian talk show and she was HILARIOUS. She ended up crawling across the desk, threatening to tie up and molest the host! I think that was a woman who’d had sex recently for the first time in years.

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