If you’ve ever made pathetic “he’s got a good set of lungs!” excuses for your unstoppably-squalling infant, you’ll enjoy this: Japanprobe reports on the annual Baby-Cry Sumo Contest.
Too late to enter for this year, but should you be currently pregnant and your gene pool blessed with good lungs and bad tempers, you might want to put the fetoid down for next year’s contest.
OMFG, that guy’s legpit has a double chin. What do you have to do to get the grownups to put some pants on?
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raincoaster 
Oh the sumo on the left is just gross, thanks for drawing my attention to the leg pit – euarghh! How do the sumos get children? Or do they just borrow other peoples’??
I have never had screaming children unless they were ill. When not ill I use the time honoured methods of letting them clamp themselves to my breast or give them sweets. As they grow older, money seems to be the somnolent of choice. Ah those happy dreams of spending pocket money :-)
Do those kimono things have pockets?
Where do you get your money? Actually, that works for me now. Any time I get stroppy, just toss me a fifty.
I’d be crying too if my dad was a sumo. There is a distinct possibility of looking exactly like him one day!
That is a definite point. I’m wondering, though, if those are ‘stunt sumos’ rather than actual parents. The babies all look pretty: in fact, they all look like Suri Cruise.
I’ll keep that in mind, mostly when I call you ‘honey’ and hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I’m sorry, one shouldn’t call a kick-ass tentacled woman honey.
One shouldn’t. Unless one has lots of fifties.
It’s being surrounded by children – you tend to slip into addressing everyone as ‘honey’ because you’re usually too distracted and stressed to remember what the hell you’re doing, with whom or why!
That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
I’ll stock up on fifties (oh please, if I only could!)
I’d hate to wash those sumo panties.
Did you see Goldmember? There’s a sumo laundry scene that will curdle your very bone marrow.
er… I’m not sure if I want to rush to check that out, given the inducement.
I wonder if they are washed by maidens as used to be the norm in that culture? Talk about the most revolting jobs in history, Eew!
I meant the sumo chaps being bathed by women.
And what’s wrong with that? I mean, we fawn over atheletes in exactly the same way or worse, but if women got caught washing them then it’d be tabloid fodder.
These guys work as hard as many atheletes in “our” culture–harder than many. If getting someone to wash the bits you can’t reach (and one imagines there are many of them) is the price of competition in that a-hem sphere of atheletics, why should they be denied it?
@Raincoaster: Thanks for the Goldmember visual.
Honey.
What a horrifying site to behold. They must have borrowed the babies. I mean how could the one on the left even find his pistol amid those “folds” let alone firing it.
Indeed, I think Sumos are genetically engineered and carried for nine months in the belly of a Kobe beef cow.
I once saw a very big beefy guy naked (*wave little finger*) definately genetically engineered.
Well it stays the same length while the “torso” grows out to meet it. If you want to get technical, which I don’t.
What were the circumstances of that encounter, Philipa?
I’ve signed the official secrets act, if I told you I’d have to shoot you and I don’t have gun :-x
Oops that’s a strange emoticon, I was aiming for something quite different, said the dolphin to the lilo :-/
What’s a Lilo? Other than a drunken teenage actress?
It’s a blow-up mattress you take in the water, but I think you knew that .
No, your dialect is impenetrable to me.