Here’s a charming roundup of the 30 strangest animal mating habits, courtesy of the generally neato Neatorama. Strangely, World of Warcraft-inspired pickup lines are nowhere to be found; but then, the list is limited to those species who actually do have sex.
You’ve got all the usual suspects here: your bonobos, your banana slugs, the old “exploding bee testicle” thing, but they also have a penis fencing video and a little something about snake orgies that puts some of those Zealia Bishop Yig-Mythos stories into perspective. Charming.
The annual red-garter mating balls are a big tourist attraction in Manitoba—and a source of many tales. One unsuspecting couple built a house on top of an empty snake pit one summer, only to find their property swarmed by thousands of red-sided garters returning to their traditional hibernation den in the fall. The couple quickly relocated their new house.
It is to be noted that a roundup like this often brings the realization that some humans are not all that far from those we call “beasts” if you really give it some thought.
Actually, “court” may be too strong a word: the male … basically follows her around until she gives in and lets him have her!
For those who walk on their hind legs, just a reminder: that is never going to work.
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raincoaster 
Never going to work? You gave in after seven minutes, and I have been regretting it ever since.
So what, it was only thirty seconds out of your life!
Yeah, like you’d remember one face out of thousands …
Not yours: the mask wasn’t because I was kinky, it was because I just didn’t want to LOOK at you.
You should have checked the ID.
No way it was me. But possibly one of the clones … it’s so hard to keep track once you get past a two-four of ’em.
And as we know, repeated cloning degrades the mental faculties, which would account for the appalling lapse in judgement, not to say taste.
Also account for why I couldn’t tell the clones from the original, Metro. IQs don’t go to negative numbers.
As is obvious from the fact that you know about negative numbers.
But I’ll bet you’re still having trouble with pat-a-cake.
Believe me, I’ve NEVER had any complaints about my abilities in the pat-a-cake department.
I just think you’re not hearing them because of the two layers of brown paper.
Sweetie, just take the bag off your head. Oh god, no PUT IT BACK ON PUT IT BACK ON!!!!
Well I tried to be tactful, but you had to go and quote me …
Whoa, that’s up there with the best of the Pee Wee Herman comebacks. You musta practiced that one for ages! Congratulations, you made it to second grade.
Don’t worry, I’ll wait until you catch up.