So to speak.
Word has come to our shell-like ears of a most delightfully esoteric Japanese custom; indeed, in a land where it sometimes seems as if all the customs are simultaneously bizarre, sexual, and ridiculous, this still stands out as remarkable, largely because it is one of the few that is not only bizarre, sexual and ridiculous, but it’s also low-calorie, tasty and satisfying and no, you’re not horny an hour later.
That would be the well-known “Chinese smorgasbord ritual.”
So what are the twin practices of Nyotaimori and Nantaimori? Nothing more nor less than the practices of eating sushi or sashimi off a naked woman or man, respectively. And we are most respective of our naked sushi bringers around these parts.
These parts in particular… *points*…
What fascinates me are the detailed instructions for preparation of the presentation service. Oh, I agree, proper attention to the plating aesthetics is so, so important.
Before becoming a living sushi platter, the person is trained to lie down for hours without moving. She or he must also be able to withstand the prolonged exposure to the cold food. Body hair, including pubic hair, would also be shaved as a display of pubic hair may be seen as a sexual act. [ed note: oh, perish the thought!]
Before service, the individual would take a bath using a special fragrance-free soap and then finish off with a splash of cold water to cool the body down somewhat for the sushi.
In some parts of the world, in order to comply with sanitation laws, there must be a layer of plastic or other material between the sushi and the body of the woman or man.
Ah, but that’s an entirely different Wikipedia entry, I’m sure…
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raincoaster 
Unfortunately, it’s only a ‘delightful’ custom if one doesn’t consider how the Japanese are doing their utmost to wipe out all those lovely tuna species shown in the poster pic here.
When a species becomes endangered they don’t stop fishing it; they just pay more for it and consider it more of a delicacy.
Sorry for being a spoil sport …
So what you’re saying is that you’re changing careers?
Gonna be someone’s personal tuna?
Anyway, eating off of a nude person seems rather healthier than the “cannibal banquet”. Though no-one seems certain where that came from.
Az, my focus in this blog post is not on the fish itself so much as the presentation. “Tuna” is nothing more than a pun; everyone knows that salmon is better anyway.
My new hero is a guy whose blog is called something like “Beast Eater”. He’s eating 52 species in 52 weeks. Not an ambitious plan, particularly as he seems to live in Africa rather than Milwaulkee and depend on Safeway, but when you live with a vegan you pick unlikely heroes.
“Yummy white woman”, indeed!
My inner-feminist is kicking and screaming at this one…
Then it’s hysterical, and should go lie down with a vibrator. If you check the article, everything from the title on down is equal-opportunity sexual, with the exception of that chain of restaurants I linked to.
Okey dokey, guess that makes the presentation somehow acceptable as something interesting without taking into account the other stuff.
Right, if you’re looking for Greenpeace, they’re on the left. I aught to know: I used to work for them. Where did I say you should eat endangered fish? Honestly, woman. The issue matters to you, and you know what to do about that. Instead of jumping all over my blog, use yours.
Historically, there is special training for being the serving plate. In addition to full body hair removal (waxing is better than shaving) and being prepared to deal with the temperature of the food; the inital training includes remaining motionless while ice is applied to the nude body. The ice does not have to be left in a single spot, and can be used as melying drips of water. The body has eggs positioned on it as well, this should be done for 4 hours. Any broken eggs require a “restart”. I have qualified as a male sushi model, it is a great job, and takes a lot of preparation. Mike
That does sound like a lot of training. I saw that the LA restaurant plans a chain, but that hasn’t happened yet. I would imagine in any city with a large and rich Japanese (or Russian) population there would be a market.
I find the whole thing good, un-wholesome fun.
If I was going to eat anything on a nude lady that smelled like …
Oh forget it.
Hey–if I wanted to eat sushi off a nude midget would that be nanotaimori?
Whoa. The Japanese sure know how to do everything differently. Does that include fish spread too?
Metro, I don’t know, but at this rate we’ll probably get a nude little person model posting to answer your question.
“Fish spread” is an expression I’m not going near. Nope. Rising above it.