Longtime fans of the ol’ raincoaster blog will recall the somewhat…epic consequences of a bad oyster. There is, presumably, no need for us to go there again, even from the comforting distance of the far end of a laparoscope. Given the devastating effect that only a small invertebrate can have, a simple act of extrapolation is all that is necessary to comprehend the potential tsunami of destruction that could result, were this principle to be extended to larger, more complex creatures.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that the nightmare is real. The nightmare, my friends, has landed.
Authorities in Connecticut are wondering who stuffed a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb and left it on a roadside…the Hartford Police Department’s bomb squad came and blew up the chicken.
Chickens, gentle readers, are not born suicide bombers. No indeed; most chickens have not a thought in their heads beyond scratching out a living, or passing the time of day with one another by speculating about the possible effect of gravity on the celestial dome. It is perhaps this philosophical streak which brought the bird above to her ultimate doom; she had no recorded links with either radical Islam or the IRA.
In contrast, some birds give their whole lives selflessly to ensure that human beings the world over do not go hungry. Once they’ve met the stringent criteria for joining the Colonel‘s army, these big-breasted chicks travel the world, serving populations as disparate as those of the Upper East Side and downtown Davao. But, while most famous of poultry devoted to humanity’s welfare, they are not alone.
In news the world has been waiting for since the dawn of medical science, it has just been announced that Peking Duck cures cancer and heart disease!
An extract of red yeast rice, which gives Peking duck its distinctive colour, may cut cancer deaths by two-thirds and heart disease by a third.Red yeast rice has been used in China for thousands of years as a preservative and as a herbal medicine for 1,000 years…It is the colouring ingredient used widely in Chinese food and is found in pickled tofu, Peking duck and some types of red-coloured Japanese sake. The rice is fermented by adding a red yeast, monascus purpureus, with alcohol before removing the rice gluten.Used medicinally, it has been known to improve blood circulation and aid digestion.
raincoaster 
As Rumsfeld looked at the Senate investigating committee chairman and said, “Nooo Mr. Waxman, I expect you to die.”
That can’t be beat.
Sake to me? SPLOOOOSH!
Say goodnight, Dick!
I’m having a hard time telling which is the chicken and which the chickenhawk.
Easy distinction – the chicken has guts
I’d like to see Rumsfeld’s. On the floor beside the autopsy table.
I wouldn’t – he’s left enough mess to clean up
Oh, come on. If we let the army do it, it would act as an incentive to recruitment. EVERYONE would want to join.
Poor pipe bomb stuffed chicken. You’d think that they would have chosen a more suitable creature like a chihuahua or one of those pet parakeets that attention seekers carry on their shoulder?
Anybody who’s tried to sleep in past dawn anywhere in Asia knows that chickens are evil, too.