The Bevolicher, a carnivorous creature which lives on the flesh of baristas, is reported to be at large. Please report Bevolicher sightings to your local branch of the Masons or Knights Templar, as appropriate. Do not approach the Bevolicher yourself, as it may be dangerously peckish and prone to noxiously obscure foreign film references.
Goddam! My birthday just disappeared!
raincoaster 
I’m so old I need a birth year!
[did you just suffer an increase in your years?]
Of course not. I have no birthday, therefore I must be immortal! Yay! I found the secret of immortality!