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raincoaster 
haha
OMG! I forgot not to kiss that toilet seat!
Or something like that . . .
OMG!
I promise not to oralise about this fact!
aHA! I have a story that goes with this! When I worked for the Navy as a contract technician, one of the corpsmen in our shop regaled us with stories about sick bay at the Subic Bay Naval Hospital. Among those tales: two sailors brought their buddy to sick call one morning. The buddy was running a 102 fahrenheit fever, could not talk or swallow even liquids and, upon examination, had throat tissues the color of a fire engine. After throat swabs were obtained and sent to the lab, the diagnosis was oral gonorrhea.
Aieeeeee! I guess it’s true what they say about sailors.
Did I mention I have a sore throat today? It’s just a cold! So totally just a cold!
I left out the best part. It turned out that, after a grilling by the duty physician and the hospital commander, Seaman Drip Throat admitted that he had been practicing his cunnilingual skills on the ‘Po City hookers in order to be able to impress his girlfriend when he got back to the states.
Now, that’s OMFG ridiculous!
Not on the sailors? Sure, sure!
Think of the epidemiological logic . . . .
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@FFE:
In view of your “illicit acts” comment elsewhere … So no senses of smell, taste nor, apparently, self-preservation? ;-)