Quiz: which horrible affliction are you?

Yay! Mother would be so proud! I’m so glad I wasn’t something banal like gingivitus or hammertoes. No, this and only this is worthy of the raincoaster brand, I think we can all agree!

I am Ebola. Hear Your Organs Squelch.
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.

Congratulations, you’re ebola!

You start, innocently enough, with a headache; a fever; chills. Nothing special. Might as well be the flu. But that is only the beginning.

You move on through the unpleasant symptoms list, inducing vomiting, abdominal pain and diarrhea. You start to shut down the kidney and liver, and start to cause bleeding both internally and externally, with little or no clotting. Finally, the patient crashes and bleeds out, in a veritable explosion of blood. Anyone who has contact with that blood, or any of the patient’s body fluids while s/he is infected, is also liable to get you. Now that’s what I’m talking about!

Via Archie

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15 thoughts on “Quiz: which horrible affliction are you?

  1. Congratulations, you’re rickets!

    Caused by insufficient phosphorous, vitamin D and/or sunlight, you cause those unlucky enough to suffer you to have swelling in the joints, and bending of the longer bones (such as those found in the legs) in growing children.

    You’re not very prevalent in affluent societies any more – but don’t worry, there’s always the third world!

    haven’t even heard of this disease until now. :?

  2. You haven’t? Well, that’s because you don’t live in the Third World.

    As for ebola, I always wondered why my ex called me that. Given what I did to him, it all makes sense!

  3. Well, I think I’m pretty even with you:

    RABIES

    Congratulations, you’re rabies!

    Transmitted by rabid animals, you’re most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don’t worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.

    Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation – that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!

    If you wish, you can proudly tell the world that you kill dogs . . .

  4. Pingback: Thank you Rain for boosting my self esteem! « Frontier Former Editor

  5. Your Grace

    After much reflection, Agent Smith has concluded being Human is a Disease

    Yr Grace’s obedt servant etc

    G E

  6. Mrs Noggin

    When her Grace visits Spain, she will be able to bring ample supplies of locally-grown Canadian mice

    …. are you able to use them in a Spanish dish

    Yr obedient servant etc

    G E

  7. You see, RC, that’s why you have to cut down on the amount of lamp oil you drink. Those were your undies, not mine. The beaver-fur trim and velcro crotch were a dead giveaway.

    As to mopping up cat piss with them, well what’s one urine stain more or less, eh?

    I took them to have the cat piss cleaned out, it seemed the gentlemanly thing to do. As I entered the cleaner’s, the guy behind the counter sniffed and, without turning around, said “Raincoaster! You’re back!”

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