Well, on Wednesday anyway.
In lieu of throwing my own party, for which I’d have to pay and after which I’d have to clean up, I’m just going to hang out at Gin & Sin at Killjoy in Yaletown and wait for people to buy me drinks. This could get fraught, as I invited about 50 people, the drinks are cheap (well, the specials are cheap) and this is a video demonstrating about how well I socialize in large groups at a swank bar.
Should you decide not to attend, but wish to contribute presents, well, the LAST thing I would want to do is crush your dreams. Of course you may. Here are some suggestions:
Lambo: Because the bus is just getting old, okay?
Or perhaps this:
Limey Thuggie and HEY, it’s on sale!
Or there’s always:
Or this:
but Julian, THE CAKE IS A LIE!
raincoaster 
Happy (belated) Birthday! :D
You’re not belated; quite the opposite. It’s not till the 10th.
Ah, you meant this coming Wednesday. Oops! My bad.
Well then, Happy (future) Birthday!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday! I am just realizing now that my Mom made a marble chocolate cake on the 3rd! Nom nom cheers!
You’re teasing me! Unless you plan to freeze it and mail it to me!
I do find it ironic that I’m approaching a middle aged birthday and one of the things I’d like is an outfit I probably wore for my first birthday.
Happiest of Birthday! Yes!!!!!!! I will come to celebrate your special special day! XO
Ha, I thought when this popped into my email inbox that I couldn’t have missed your birthday, oh Tricksey One.
And of course the real issue is… how can people send you pressies when you have No Fixed Address?
I can always arrange a covert mail drop on a dusty lane or down a sordid back alley.
And I thought it would do no harm to get people thinking about it in advance this time, particularly as Lambos take time to ship.
Well you don’t make things easy! I remember last year asking you for the measurement of your wrist and you never gave it to me.
Oh jeez well I’m on a No Booze diet so maybe I will be better this year.
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